Edits LOLCATS.

Nurse.

<3 I wish.

Why thank you! However growing it out for the first time in two years.

It can be fine to even ask with in the first few hours of meeting someone. It's not normally seen as a date, but as a way to get to know each other, and hang out.

Dear diary!

It's too cold in my house, the unopened juice felt like it had been chilling for days.

Shots SUX!

Movies are goofy.

Pornstar.

Cocaine and Gin - Death In Vegas

I tend to write the best deep stuff. Thanks. :)

I am an indigo wizard.

What fallows is an insight to who I am, how I am, and what I am.

I do not and I never claimed to be perfect in anyway.
I have very little or no inter dialogue at all. It stays in my subconscious.
I understand a great deal about things happening in this world.
I understand most people, and can relate even if I have not had the same experience in this life.
I have lucid dreams, which I walk in after they are dreamt.
I have vivid or foggy dreams of past lives.
In a way I am pre programmed for some things.
Some things I do I have known how to since before I started doing them.
Some things I do I don't realize I was meant to do them until I pick them up.

I know what real, and true love feels like, though I cannot easily explain it.
Love has a large range of meanings and should never be assumed that it means just one.
Love is restricted by nothing, however in this world laws try to state otherwise.
To stay on the good side of the law sometimes people must hide they're love.
Else they say they'll lock you in a cell for following your heart.
Because someone though it to be wrong once.
Keep it within reason, though this would is insane.

I used to think differently about 'sane' and 'insane' until I had an experience that made me think otherwise. If ones brain obtains too much knowledge or is exposed to many stressful events to fast. So to exceed that witch the brain can handle at it's current awakened level. Thus leaving most people confused and a mess about things or so it seems. Not everyone comes to terms with this the same way, depending on your level of understanding of things two possible things can happen. Either (A) you completely freak out and become paranoid and stuck on the events and knowledge that they absorbed to fast. Or (B) You understand all of it and your level increases, however sharing this new knowledge with others whom don't understand my think you've gone insane when in fact you're still as sane as ever. Humans shun what they do not understand, what they do not wish to believe even if it is true.

If the world is really as insane as it seems then it can also be said that much of the system that controls it is pure nonsense.

Most humans are not at an awaked state of mind and body yet, some may never be.
The monks of the East are a step ahead of the rest of the human race in most ways.
Much can be learned from their teachings if fallowed right.

Indigo children are in this world, they can be hard to find. Though most stand out above the rest of the kids/teens/young adults. Most of them are likely outcasts due to being wired, and unlike the others. Or those around them embrace them, because they are seen for what they really are. Indigos are drawn to each other, they are meant to be together whether as friends or lovers. For only indigos truly are able to understand one another.
In a way we are all one, and the same to some extent. We are not mere humans; we are souls, spirits, and wizards!

There are many, many people in this vast and wide world. I have only truly found two other Indigos. Both whom in this life I may not have known long, but it feels like they were always there. I was just searching for them. One lives far away, we rarely speak but when we do we are almost always on the same page and thought. The other lives close we speak as much as we can, and share the experiences of the world when we can.
We are connected, deeply, a love most people wouldn't understand.

In closing I'd just like to say a few last things for now.

Do not judge a book by its cover; do not assume things are one thing when they are not.
Just by looking, the way things are today, and the way people think sickness me.
The media has consumed the minds of far too many humans today.
Do not be closed-minded. Do not judge at first glance. Do not take the common for the uncommon. Do not make an Indigo's life any harder on him or her then it already is.
We are here to stay and change the world, we have the free will and understanding to do whatever we feel is right. Just because you do not understand us gives you no right to interfere with our lives.

That is all I have time to share will you right now.

Isn't it? I seem to write the best either when I am in love or sad. Mostly sad and alone though.

I would be, should I find someone.

I'm often bitter at the world, but I never talk about it.

November 13, 2007

Once.


Once I existed.

I existed in total darkness, wondering blind for ages.
I existed in a great battle on the great sands within death's hourglass.
I existed in a body I did not know how to use.
I existed until I went extinct.

Once I breathed.

Inhaling and exhaling until my cells died from the air.
I inhaled the smoke from a hundred burning souls.
I burnt out my lungs, long ago.

Once I ate.

A piece of paper, a piece of glass, a piece of apple pie; it went everywhere.
I once ate a cookie of god and the devil they didn't taste right.
I swallowed my eyeballs they ended up in my mouth.

Once I laughed.

Till wine spewed out of my nose.
Till my lunges exploded and my heart combusted, it was amazing.
Till I cried so hard it hurt so bad.

Once I bled.

From the eyes, ears, nose, lips.
From the heart and wrists.
From the deepest part of my soul

Once I loved.

More then anyone was able to.
More then anyone could understand.
More then was allowed.

Once I was broken.

Dipped my heart in Nitric acid threw it across the room.
Then released above the earth to be scattered everywhere.
Never to be whole again, empty inside.

Once I spoke to death.

I asked to take his place as the reaper of souls.
I asked him things no one else can know, he told me.
I asked him why I was here, he told me not.
I kicked his butt in a game of chess he cursed my soul.

Nope, just very cold.

Think I am going to get some Itunes going and play free WoW.

I've had one for years, it's a nice place to keep the stuff I write, and keep in touch with good friends.

http://www.myspace.com/casz

I have two! Capricorn cusping Aquarius, and I do have traits and skills from both.

True, if you ever reach best friend status with your lover then you've got it made.

Was thinking about parties tonight, but it's kinda too late to throw one.