Blah, blah, blah

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating. "Not looking up from her knitting the
wife says: "Now don't be silly dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer is
writing out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
"Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles
demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off
when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched
teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer
frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt,
sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you
see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so
that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now,
dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You
never wear your seat belt when you're driving." So as the police
officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and
barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at
the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way,
Ma'am?"
(I love this part) ......"Only when he's been drinking."