Thank you FallinAngel82 for that wonderful idea. My mother died when I was 16 and I will certainly be sending her a balloon and rose this year.

Hello and Welcome Charles. Here ya go....have some flowers... They smell really good!!

Rec'd in an e-mail today!

One Man's Good Fight


I went grocery shopping recently though not altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to $h!t yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your a$$ cheeks WILL fall off.


Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.


Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.


Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.


The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.


There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.


I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.


I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake.


Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.


Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.


Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofa*****!' while executing a hasty exit.


Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'


That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.


Home again without having completed my shopping , I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store.

Have you seen this yet? Just want to try and keep it on top for a while. It's worth it if it helps the gas prices go down.

I am tired of almost having to take out a small loan just to fill my tank.....how about you?

Here is the link to Snopes whoever wants to check it out.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/household/gastips.asp

Personally.........I am all for it! What the heck....if we can get the gas prices to go down it sure is worth a try...right?

Ya all have a wonderful day!!!

Please send this to everyone you know!!!

I don't want to pay high gas prices anymore.


Maybe this will help it go down if we ALL buy it at the proper gas stations.

Hey! Ya never know until you try!!!!

I received this in an e-mail today! I know I am going to do this!!!

Please read ALL the way to the bottom!!!!!

TIPS ON PUMPING GAS

I don't know what you guys are paying for gasoline....
but here in California we are also paying higher, up
to $4.30 per gallon. But my line of work is in
petroleum for about 31 years now, so here are some
tricks to get more of your money's worth for every
gallon:

Here at the Kinder Morgan Pipeline where I work in San
Jose, CA, we deliver about 4 million gallons in a
24-hour period thru the pipeline. One day is diesel,
the next day is jet fuel, then gasoline, regular and
premium grades. We have 34 storage tanks here with a
total capacity of 16,800,000 gallons.

Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early
morning when the ground temperature is still cold.
Remember that all service stations have their storage
tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground, the
more dense the gasoline. When it gets warmer,
gasoline expands, so when buying in the afternoon or
in the evening, your gallon is not exactly a gallon.
In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and
the temperature of the gasoline, diesel and jet fuel,
ethanol and other petroleum products plays an
important role.

A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this
business. But the service stations do not have
temperature compensation at the pumps.

When you're filling up, do not squeeze the trigger of
the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look, you will see
that the trigger has three (3) stages: low, middle,
and high. In slow mode, you should be pumping on low
speed, thereby minimizing the vapors that are created
while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a
vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate,
some of the liquid that goes to your tank becomes
vapor. Those vapors are being sucked up and back into
the underground storage tank, so you're getting less
worth for your money.

One of the most important tips is to fill up when your
gas tank is HALF FULL or HALF EMPTY. The reason for
this is, the more gas you have in your tank, the less
air occupying its empty space. Gasoline evaporates
faster than you can imagine. Gasoline storage tanks
have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as
zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so
it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service
stations, here where I work, every truck that we load
is temperature compensated so that every gallon is
actually the exact amount.

Another reminder, if there is a gasoline truck pumping
into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, DO
NOT fill up. Most likely the gasoline is being
stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you
might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles
on the bottom. Hope this will help you get the most
value for your money.

DO SHARE THESE TIPS WITH OTHERS!

WHERE TO BUY USA GAS, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW.
READ ON

Gas rationing in the 80's worked even though we
grumbled about it. It might even be good for us! The
Saudis are boycotting American goods. We should
return the favor.

An interesting thought is to boycott their GAS.

Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting
more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just buy
from gas companies that don't import their oil from
the Saudis.

Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that
every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money
to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my
friends.

I thought it might be interesting for you to know
which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and
which major companies import Middle Eastern oil.

These companies import Middle Eastern oil:

Shell..................205,742,000 barrels

Chevron/Texaco........ 144,332,000 barrels

Exxon/Mobil............130,082,000 barrels

Marathon/Speedway..... 117,740,000 barrels

Amoco...................62,231,000 barrels

Citgo gas is from South America, from a Dictator who
hates Americans.

If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount
to over $18 BILLION! (oil is now $100 - $120 a barrel,
so adjust the math)

Here are some large companies that do not import
Middle Eastern oil:

Sunoco................0 barrels

Conoco................0 barrels

Sinclair.............0 barrels

BP/Phillips...........0 barrels

Hess..................0 barrels

ARC0.................0 barrels

If you go to Sunoco.com, you will get a list of the
station locations near you.

All of this information is available from the
Department of Energy and each is required to state
where they get their oil and how much they are
importing.

But to have an impact, we need to reach literally
millions of gas buyers. It's really simple to do.

Now, don't wimp out at this point.... keep reading and
I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of
people!!

I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each
of you send it to at least ten more (30x10=300)...and
those 300 send it to at least ten more
(300x10=3,000)... and so on, by the time the message
reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have
reached over THREE MILLION consumers !

Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people.
How long would all that take?

Hello Msberrypicker! Oneonta sure isn't any more alive then Stamford is. My sister used to live there so I know it's dead there.

Hope you have better luck then I am.

Have a great day anyway!

Hello all! I'm in Oneonta which is about 60 miles east of Binghamton on I88. Certainly not alot to do around here either.

BTW - I love nuclear buffalo wings! They are awesome!

Have a Wonderful Wednesday everyone!

I use Nero also and I can put 3 movies on one DVD, so her not having enough room is impossible. Go to Nero Express, then down at the bottom and click on Default Video Options, click on DVD Video and then you can select Super Long Play and then put 3 movies on one DVD. What is so difficult with that?

Yep, sounds like me. Has someone been following me around???

Loved It!

I personally do not own a cell phone either. If people want to get in touch with me they can call my home phone and leave a message if I am not there or.......find me.

Cute!