No, I don't know him but my ex would not get ALL his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and I told him if they weren't all in there they wouldn't get washed. He believed me after he was looking for a pair of socks and only found one in the drawer. He always put ALL his laundry IN the basket after that.

Yeah, I sent it on to Family and Friends because I thought it was cute! I don't read ALL the jokes on here so not really sure if it has already been here or not. Sure hope it wasn't.

Hope you haven't seen this before. I received it in an e-mail and wanted to share it.


How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg- lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condi tion your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

I received this in an e-mail.


A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.

She put an ad in the local paper which read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP ('70s), MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME & MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?

Just look at you...you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted, "You don't have any arms either!" Again, the old man smiled: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed?" The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "Rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Hello and Welcome!

I thought of an orange handled screwdriver!

Funny!

Hey Pete! I thought it was cute! I sure wasn't expecting that ending!

That was disgusting!

But.....

My bail is $355.00!

Tiger's Revenge - Claude Balls

Well....better late then never! I wasn't on here earlier when you were all on. Guess I must have been taking a nap. Yep....all by myself.

I saw smartass done like this....(e=mc2)

I never saw alot of the other ones though. It's really cute! Thanks for the laugh!!



(forget to check my spelling!)