The Heart Attack

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the Bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and Panting.

"What's up?" she asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her Four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Susan is hiding in your Closet, and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bed room, right Past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her Sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten *****," she screams.

"My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the Kids!"

Siesta Key, FL, Its beautiful beach!

Thank you, I wrote this a few months back on his birthday! He is greatly missed!

Stuck Together At The Heart


Don't tell me He is 'dead and gone'; He is my brother-don't you understand!
I love him, my Dear beloved friend.
My Brother – died too soon – I never got closure, too see him or to hold his hand.

He brushed away my tears for years.
He was the one who held my hand when I could not stand the pain.
He understood my disappointments.
He knew my secrets.
He shared my moments, my memories of our babyhood.
It grieves me now- still twenty years and more.
I wish so bad to see him. Yes, now even more.

I want to sit on the steps like we used to do and tell each other all.
And then we would walk down the hall, hand in hand.
Closer than cream on Oreo cookies- stuck together at the heart.
So, No!
Don't tell me he is 'dead and gone'.
He is gone from earth; no longer here to see, but in the evenings late, he comes to visit me.


Don't get stressed, Sis.
There is no need, for I have rest at Jesus' knee.
Keep the peace, Sis, and do forgive.
Don't hold on too tight - learn to live!
I'll see you in your dreams again and we will sit on the steps and reminisce
The details of every event, the turns, the skips, and
The choices that you made.
Sis, remember to live every day with care
So when it's your time, you can share with me all the things you did.
We will then have all the time we need.
So, carry on with the things you have to do, and just remember
I'll be waiting here for you, when you cross over – my sister – my friend.

In Memory of Mike my brother.....The Marine........

I love it!

Thanks! Yes I really love the beach, its so white and clean!

Hi Andre'a from Sarasota (Siesta Key) here! I guess the coast is clear now from the bickering.....lmao

One summer afternoon, two blonde girls were talking to each other. One of the blonde's couldn't help but notice how pretty and beautiful the other's skin was. So she asked the other outright what made her skin so soft and beautiful.

"Well," said the other blonde, "once a week I fill a bathtub up with milk and just soak in it."

So the first blonde went to a farm and spoke to the farmer. "I'd like a lot of milk."

"How much do you want?" asked the farmer.

The blonde answered, "Well quite a lot because I'm going to soak in it."

The farmer asked, "Pasteurized?"

To which the blonde replied, "No - Just up to my tits."

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.



FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"



So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"



Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.



The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted ne w shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."



She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"



I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"



Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either

BLIND COWBOY
>>>
>>>
>>> An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
>>>
>>> He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
>>>
>>> After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna
>>> hear a blonde joke?"
>>>
>>> The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky
>>> voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I
>>> think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know
>>> five things:
>>>
>>> 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
>>>
>>> 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
>>>
>>> 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in
>>> karate.
>>>
>>> 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight
>>> lifter.
>>>
>>> 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
>>>
>>> "Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
>>> joke?"
>>>
>>> The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
>>>
>>> "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

Dale Jr all the way! He kicked @`` at the Bud Shoot out! Go #88............

Sarasota here.........hi all!

I love it..........

Play connect the dots...........

/Go sky diving..............

Drink beer and listen to Heavy Metal!

Office Asst.