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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Oh wow * I still want to dance but the juke box is still not working* Guess I will come back later maybe it will be working by then Just as Ms Cupcake says that, the jukebox starts blaring..."There ya go,,,the right touch and it always works," now the sweat is glistening down her back. She moves across the bar picking up the glasses and wiping tables. Bending owe so slightly, knowing full well that these boys are lookin for a freebie tonight... Sure johnny get it going after she leaves, If I coulda got her on the floor with a bit of bump and grind i'da been that lucky fella we was talkin' bout! |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to pee." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK. Why don't you go behind this hedge." She nods agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God Mary ... have you changed your sex?" "No," she replies. "I've changed my mind, I'm having a **** instead there is nothing right there!!!!  |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Oh wow * I still want to dance but the juke box is still not working* Guess I will come back later maybe it will be working by then (Danny leans forward so his orange fro surrounds his face, and falls down the front of his pink shirt) well next time in we'll see bout that lesson on obscene 
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Larry don't you have some village people for that music box? If you get that old piece of junk to work I think I do. Maybe if you kick it a few times. (Danny goes to the juke box, kicks it a few times, each time the 150 lb juke box pushes his 128lb body backwards with out a quiver) Ok Einstein, even after that mighty beatin' it don't work, any more instructions Leisure Johnny laughs. It works on and off. I could put a eight track cassette in for now with a mix of 70s music if you like," Leisure Johnny replies waving the huge cassette the wonders of modern technology lets see what all you got fer us'n |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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what a lady got to do to get another drink after the drinkin' we'll talk about the the doin', and with them full fluffy lips of ur'n I have lots of ideas on what that'll be |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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"Bartender I'd like another tall white russian please... You know I'm not that good at jokes but my friend told me this one last night so I thought I'd share it with you.... A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big boobs."
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Larry don't you have some village people for that music box? If you get that old piece of junk to work I think I do. Maybe if you kick it a few times. (Danny goes to the juke box, kicks it a few times, each time the 150 lb juke box pushes his 128lb body backwards with out a quiver) Ok Einstein, even after that mighty beatin' it don't work, any more instructions |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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drink up enjoy, we still got to discuss "definitions". and I do enjoy that part of the "DiK-TIONARY" I'll show u definitions Mr.Disco But I would like 4 u to show me your DIK-Tionary If'n we can get some groovin tunes floatin' cross the room me an you head on to floor, then you'll start the lesson on obscene |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Larry don't you have some village people for that music box?
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Walks in to check things out. she sashays up to the bar. Looks around "Well, well what do we have here," says Leisure Larry eyeing the lady. "He plays with his toothpick with his tongue trying to look smoothe. Looks him up and down. You the owner of this place?? "I sure am and alot more," Leisure Johnny says exploding some bad breathe in her direction. well now, she says trying not to be rude about the bad breath, May i have a drink? let's start out with something simple shall we? how about a sloe gin fizz? (danny leans her way, sure the pink satin and brown dots make him hot and irresistible) Honey down south we always go with the slow southern screw |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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ok just 1 more drink up enjoy, we still got to discuss "definitions". and I do enjoy that part of the "DiK-TIONARY"
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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sumthin' 'bout these drinks reminds me famous words.."An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.". Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.". Why did that come to mind????
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Larry how bout a few more this way, and who was that vision that just rolled in
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Guess nobody likes my high squeaky voice * I thought I sounded rather nice I love the sound of a rat in trap.......here have another drink and forget about that career [/quote Y r u giving me so many drinks It'll be easier to show you the meaning of obscene this way.... TRUST ME |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Guess nobody likes my high squeaky voice * I thought I sounded rather nice I love the sound of a rat in trap.......here have another drink and forget about that career |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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wow this margarita is really kicking in * I think I will sing A song from an angel, those sweet lips should bring the birds from the trees and bees delivering honey |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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Yo baatenda I heard you have the bestest and dirtiest martnis, can a girl get one ova here?! Larry Leisure takes the toothpick out of his mouth and begins to pour olive juice into a shaker. He spills half of it on the counter as his face turns red. He takes the cheap vodka he bought at the gas station and starts pouring it in not knowing how much goes in. Counting to 10 he stops. He then shakes the shaker trying to look good at the process to only splash half on his suit. He then shakes his head and says in a low tone, " I forgot to put ice in this," as he puts some ice cubes in and tries to shake again. After much struggle he pours the content in a martini glass as it fills half way. With a big sigh he serves the drink to the customer. Thank ya!!! Swishes turns it up and in one gulp the drink is gone! Hey there Your handsomeness, can I get another? I've got a joke for ya! Maxine says: To make it stand, you wet it ! To make it wet, you suck it ! To make it stiff, you lick it ! To get it in, You push it! Damn !!!!!!! Threading a needle when you're older is a *****
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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babycakes I'm never fresh, just obscene! Well r u trying to get obscene * wait what's obscene have a few more margaritas and i'll show ya! 
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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wow this margarita is really kicking in * I think I will sing A song from an angel, those sweet lips should bring the birds from the trees and bees delivering honey |
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Topic:
LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR
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A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around
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