thank you

honestly yes thank you

Just venting----

Okay here is my story...I am 22 years old and mother of 3 wonderful boys. I was married to who I thought was my knight in shinging armor for 5 years. Even though I was the one who left because of his adultrey ways I went to him crying and begging him to try to make it work. I am not going to say it was all his fault I am not one to keep my mouth shut when I see something that is morally and ethiclly wrong. Not to sure if it is a vertue or a vice but I guess I will find out someday. He told me he wanted me to stand on my own two feet. Soo I did I joined the National Guard went back to college and have a half way decent career to pay my way through school. I take care of my children and show them all the love I have. I am always doing fine...until I get the phone call. The phone call that says "Rosie I miss you. I love you. Please. Come see me. Lets be friends. Lets do stuff together and have fun like we use to." The friends part works....for a couple of weeks then we start sleeping together and I do care for him I always will, but I realized that I am not in love with him. I think half the time the only reason I do this is because I don't want to be alone and if I could only look over the stuff he does it would work. I know thats not right and totally not healthy. I thought that getting on here and talking to other people might help me move on with my life and close that door instead of leaving it cracked. Somehow or another though I always end up going back. The latest incident that happened was 2 weeks ago. We were being "friends" and he called me on a thursday and asked me to come up on friday (mind you it is a 158 mile drive) and hang out and go out on the town with him. My thoughts were hey this is cool it will be like the old days. When we wood go up in the hills and have a fire and kick back a couple beers. Wrong I drove the 3 hour drive up HWY 101 (anyone from the Pacific NW knows thats not a fun drive) in the rain and hail for him to disapper...wasn't where he said he was going to be wouldnt answer his phone. So I went to his house...I have a key so I let myself in and went to bed. He stroles in the next morning and I said what happened to you last night. He tells me oh I went home with lisa...a woman who happens to be 25 years his senior. I lost it. I thought that it didn't matter that we are divorced that was the most disrespectful thing anyone can do and I would never do that. Friends don't do that to each other. Then the next week he is all sweet and oh i miss you blah blah blah, and when I went to pick my kids up for the weekend,...he says "hey think we can have a quickie before you leave." I just looked at him like he was nuts and left. Then this morning he calls to accuse me of getting involved in his personal life. I could careless at this point. All I want is for him to stop playing these games...I told him today that I am done I won't drive all the way to his house again and that he can meet me half way. I think that is fair enough and he threw a fit cause he wants to be friends and wants to hang out. I think its a load of bull and its just another game. He wants to keep hold of that string just enough to pull me back then push me away....I know its time to burn that string! Like I said just venting.

wow that is amazing

we look online for job listings and then we apply online and wait for a call back...lol

i don't think i could live in the same house as my ex. The guy is my best friend but more then 24 hours in each others company and we are about ready to rip each others throats out...lol...(not that intense but close). I don't know how you do it but...I say hey what the hell take the debt card and go shoppin...lol

here

thats the thing....its not just the friends ex, he is a friend too and it just makes it weird and disrespectful to even throw that out there like he did in my opinion

thats what i am sayin plus it would ruin the incredible friendship we all still have even threw all of the crap we dealt with each other....someone doesn't want to listen though

Okay so here is the deal about 6 years ago I met my roommate and we have been close friends ever since. At that time I was married to my exhusband and she was married to her exhusband. We were all friends we did stuff together and our kids play together. Now we are all divorced and the single foursome...lol. I know its weird but we all still hang out together. The issue I am having though is I was up last night late and playing on myspace...I know I am addicted. Well my friends ex husband sent me a message and we have been joking back and forth. Well somehow he ended up making a joke about us being snuggle buddies...I though he was kidding but not so much now. I believe it would be wrong and weird even if it were to friends leaning on each other through the hard times of divorce for me to do something like...snuggle my friends ex. Am I right or wrong?

what i think is --my eyes
others--- well....been called hooterriffic on more then one occasion...lol, but have been told my eyes too.
what i like-- eyes and smile

Thats exactly where the problem lies...the dad...i know it sounds funny but I pretty much raised my younger brothers and their dad was in and out. We went through the same thing...you need to get him into therapy. It is an emotional detachment he is going through. Now it is not about catering to the Dad it should of never been. He is either there for his children or he is not. Don't let him walk in and out of the kids lives,...it just causes emotional and mental trauma.

I hope you work all out.

I think its wonderful that you are going to have him for a few days. My kids love time with nana and papa its good for em too. Enjoy it! Kids are the beauty of the world.

One other thing I want to throw out there. It really bothers me when you see young single mothers and they blam their behavior on their age. How old you are doesn't determine how you treat your children. I am sure I am going to get a lot of comments once I say this but I am a young mom. I am 22 years old. Even when I was still married I raised those babies myself. I didn't get any help and they are good kids without violence. I don't understand it.

Thats the thing though it is sick. People don't like men beat women, or people smaller and weaker in general...soo what is the diffrence with hitting your kids to make them listen to you?

I am soo confused....I don't see how you taped your kid on the cheek as a way to punish or get their attention. I am a single mother. I don't have to spank or hit my kids in anyway shape or form. No lie I look them in the eye on their level and I talk to them in a firm and stern voice. You don't have to make your kids believe you are going to physically harm them if they act up. There are soo many other ways of doing it. Example I have a 4 year old who has accidents, now these accidents consist of many things from potty accidents to sleep walking and getting into things to unintentionally breaking toys...(he is kind of a rough kid). Now from where I am sitting it seems you "taped" your kid because you lost control of the situation and it bothered you. Well duh losing control is the number one problem with parents now days they never take control to begin with. Now where I was going with this is I get frustrated with my boy all the time....ALL THE TIME!! I don't feel the need to smack him around though. When these "accidents" occur....like this weekend he loses something...like as a good behavior treat the boys got to go to McD's for lunch...well my 4 year old stayed home with his Aunt and he new why and he knew where we were going. I promise you this the rest of the weekend he was on his best behavior because he know's good kids get to do good/fun things. Not saying that he is bad. Kill you kids with love and kindness...is it okay to spank...if it is your only option in the situation. I am not telling you how to raise your boys...you think having 2 is hard...honey try 3 all within 3 years of each other and get back to me. I love being a mom it has its ups and downs...thats part of life with kids. I think as a Mom you need to step back and look at yourself and tell me if you like what you see. Which I could tell you, you probably don't because if you did you wouldn't see the need to defend yourself on a website soo much....hmmm *chew on that a bit*

The best I can come up with is my best friend but 3 boys are alot of work. I know that he went through a lot when he was over there. All of us that have been have, some just deal with it better then others. I am more mad at myself then anything though. I figured with my working 40 hours and being a full time student it would be better for them with their dad since he only works 20 hours a week. My mother moved us to oregon when I was 13 and I don't have any family up here and I don't really know the rest well enough to trust them with my children. These guys are my life, and their well being is my soul concern...I still care for my ex to and wish he would get help but anytime its metioned he just rolls his eyes and pretends he didn't hear me.

On the outside sounds like the perfect answer right....unfortunitly both of my parents are drug atticks and lost custody of the children they had at home 2 years ago. I tried talking to his and they are blind to whats going on...to them he is a hero and can do no wrong.

Okay soo I have 3 boys. They currently live with their father because I am both working full time, going to school and preparing to leave for Iraq in 6 months. My ex-husband is a OIF vet and has suffered from some PTSD. He has taken to the bar since our divorce and it bothers me that he would rather go to the bar after work then come home and spend time with his kids. I don't really know how to make him see the damage it, is having on our children. Everytime I say something he just says "Well you get all week and I only have the weekends to my self" Although I see more of the kids in the 2 1/2 days I have them then he does in 2 weeks. They are being raised by a babysitter and when they are not they get to watch dad bring home the flavor of the week. I am not to impressed at all. I know that even if I were to take them to live with me that they would just have to come back to it in 6 months when I leave. Does anyone have any ideas?

Okay I have 3 boys, ages 6 5 and 3. I don't like spanking my kids and I can count on one hand how many it has happened. I believe that if you set the standard of your household and how things are going to be ran your children will grow understanding the appropriate behavior they should have. I agree parents are too concerned with the dating scene and the next bf or gf. I don't know maybe I just got lucky. I hardly ever have to tell them something more then once. At the same time from toddlers they knew that if mom or dad said something wheather it was "If you don't stop that your going to lose....your tv time....our camping trip ect' or "We are going to go see a movie tomorrow.' I follow through with everything. Who knows might sound stupid but you kids are a whole lot smarter then people give them credit for. If they know that do you what you say no matter if its good or bad they will know that they can count on you. I don't give in if I say no, then no is no. No amount of begging or pleading will change the answer. Alot of parents are 'oh i just don't want to hear him/her cry just give them what they want to shut them up' and if you do that you can't expect them to respect or listen to you. Now if you do spank your kids understand there is a very fine line between disipline and abuse and that is where it becomes a problem. Smacking your kid in the face is not okay, can i smack you? Its disrespectful and uncalled for. A swat on the butt is diffrent. I was beaten...not spanked but beaten until I was in the hospital as a child...I turned out okay...but to this day i flinch when people raise there hands...strange huh. Do you really want you child to grow up living in fear?