Jen,

My brother committed suicide 2 years ago this december. I wish I could
say the pain fades in time, but it doesnt.

What I can say, is the thing that has helped me the most is trying to
focus on the positive things. The fun times we had when we were
younger. The good, positive things that I remember.

Hang in there, I know this is a very tough time.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you, Usadad, I needed to hear that, a lot!

3 years ago I woke up one morning and couldn't turn my head to the left.
Within 2 months I was in having the first surgery I'd ever had in my
life, neck surgery to remove a herniated disc and replace it with a
metal plate. Needless to say, I was terrified but not given much
choice. At that point, it was either surgery or severe unrelenting neck
and arm pain and the possible loss of my left arm because the herniated
disc was pressing on the nerves into my left arm.

Well, the surgery went pretty good, but unfortunately I got into a car
accident 6 months later, of course no such luck that someone else hit
me. Just me on a bad road in winter conditions and I spun out. Maybe
for someone else, this would have been no big deal, but for someone
still recovering from a neck surgery, well.... I havent been able to
work since.

I havent dated in 4 years. It started out I needed a break from
relationships. Then I hurt my neck.

Now that I am want to start dating, I've been avoiding the issue because
of the fact that I feel like I don't have much to offer another person.
I am still on disability, and I have severe pain still every day with no
health insurance (work was nice enough to "let me go" because I couldn't
work) so I just deal with it in my own ways.

Nice to know there is hope out there.

Thank you for sharing your story.

:)