i heard this joke about 10 x as i never laughed at it and someone else would tell me the same joke thinking they were a better story teller....finally i said, i don't know any french and they all laughed and explained it to me...

a couple is near the end of a pier making out. a man walks by stealthily with a bag in his hand. he goes to the end of the pier and takes a cat out of the bag and throws it in the ocean. he looks around to see if anyone is looking and throws another cat out of the bag and into the ocean.
he repeats this 3 more times. the french man looks at his lover and says, un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq. Phonetically that is un, du, twa, cat sink...

the man is visiting his psychiatrist for his monthly checkup. so what's new the shrink asked? well i became a landlord and told him the details. what do you think about that the guy asks? You have an apartment complex young man!

this thread is not for the paranoid, or so they tell me.

with smaller hands u have to work on the wrist flip more...

water tank (thing at the carnival where u throw the ball and dunk the person)

i think i'll give a gift to someone i like after hearing the anonymous part which leaves me a week.
i remember in elementary school the teachers would say if u are going to give one gift u have to give all which made it weird but we got lots of candy...those heart things with sayings on them and cards...

so i just get to the ball too late? i fell deeply in love 9 years ago one of my life's goals...

that's a load off my mind. i didn't want to get weird or anything.

then again my family was raised to be over the top ...

and reading posts around here i see i am not alone on that one...

someone knocked on my door 40 minutes ago and woke me up....and i heard my name called. but it could have been 2 neighbor women and either way it was no great loss not getting up in time.

i watched the super bowl it seemed a bit biased in favor of the home team and possibly tom's last year...

the refs like the media have the power to steer the proles. do women have balls? well figuratively some women have big balls...night...

nowadays it is not illegal to lie in the u.s. and probably most of the world...doctors even have conflicting opinions like scientists with global warming...

reading another blurb is not in my agenda...i'm sorry you suffered through it...if i were your doctor i would ask you a bunch of questions to understand better but i am not....i was in really bad shape before the covid and was in emergency 3 months in a row and given opioids at a time when they were trying not to give out opioids, i had back trouble and heart trouble and kidney stones...after that the covid hit and i live in a retirement home with a lot of old people ....life happens to us all...i am sure the healthy are suffering as much as anyone when they lose their jobs etc and told to sit this one out and maybe the next one and who knows how many...

like with the election we make up our minds and pick a side right or wrong we can live with until maybe we get it and we either get over it quickly or don't and maybe we change our minds depending on our experience...japan evidently is having a suicide epidemic worse than the covid as their people generally associate themselves with their work more than the average nation and when you take away their work you are taking away their identity oftentimes.

speaking of passwords, nowadays i can't come up with a good enough one to remember so it usually says too easy and then i come up with a difficult one which i can't remember, oive

why are Sweden's numbers better than us then? They are not punishing the healthy but telling the infirm to stay home not the healthy...find me a place in new orleans to volunteer and i will....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH-fNyJnr_Y John Macarthur a pastor does the best research on the covid i have found.

he mentions the fact over the last 5 years the amount of deaths in the world hasn't changed but what has changed is the amount of people dying of heart related issues are now allegedly dying of the covid.

personally i have noticed a world wide trend away from health and towards money and pills. billionaires are getting richer and the middle class is taking a hit as per usual.
also due to the lock downs food is scarcer and people are more dependant on governments making socialism seem like a good thing.

also because of lock downs suicides and depression is up, as is all manor of addictions, obesity is rampant from sitting around and eating and diabetes is up accordingly.

The morbidity rate is now calculated at 2% or less world wide which is what a normal flu would be.
Several years ago i read "the true story of the bildeberg group" several times. In it the writer shows how wealthy individuals along with politicians and media moguls meet once a year since 1954 to discuss creating a one world government utopia for the rich and powerful...
The bible talks about the antichrist kingdom which is also about a dominating one world government taking over in the last days.

Allegedly hospitals are getting between 14 and 39 thousand dollars for everyone that dies of the covid this is perhaps going on world wide....

Elites are counting on peons going along with the program for as long as the elites want. Mr. Gates the other day predicted another virus following this one. He is one of the ones making bank of the virus...no film at 11....

wow new word cool...moob=man boob...who knew?

they would have to pay good money to get them or use some form of coercion like take it off your taxes which i think is part of the plan...government always figures a way to screw u that is hard to circumvent.

now that he's in he does whatever he wants...why we voted in trump...there is half a wall showing he actually did something besides moving his lips....lip service...i had a dream this morning trump would be back in the oval office soon and not in 4 years... time will tell...watching the inauguration and pence couch surfing makes me think they have guilty consciences....at least they have a smidgen left...

democracy now, elitist democrats mascarading as populists...enough already...

good one...

29 and you're cute for a hillbilly, viva mountain dew!

verbal miscues...

years ago at a bus stop the tattooed mexican called me holmes, so i called him watson, whose watson he asks, holmes sidekick, no man holmes as in homey, ahhh the light bulb moment, i think that was the first week they were using homey so i didn't consider myself too out of touch...

I have an ice chest one told me over the phone. So you like to camp i queried, what's camping got to do with it she asked. Well you said you have an ice chest, no i have a nice chest..oh duh...

then there were the stupid moments when i would see a black man walking his dog and look at his dog and say, sup dog? all three of them laughed fortunately and no riot ensued.

then there was the woman who while driving me to her house said if i didn't make love to her i would have to walk home and it was about 10 miles. **** i said, yes exactly she replied, she was good looking but still...

then there was the kinky woman who said she was going to **** me, cool i said, she went into the bedroom and came out with a strap on...oh ****...exactly she said
what happens when you might be a little too fearless for your own good...

you're welcome. then there is the classic, "do these jeans make me look fat"?

here i think the woman is giving you an opportunity to say something rude to her so she can break up with you before she breaks up with you for the usual reasons...
or she might need a boost and just be having a bad day.

the best thing you can do is say something like, u have such a sweet butt that is one of the reasons i want to marry you, omg did i say that out loud, or some other over the top sentiment to really make the moment pop...

or maybe my number one tip on how to guess a woman's age learned from experience...i am usually a pretty good age guesser. years ago a co-worker asked me to guess her age, i said 40, she cried. So i said how old are you? She said 39 and was going to be 40 next week. She continued most men guess i am 30. So now i take a woman age and subtract 10 years and that is my guess and it works a lot better.