My sasquatch had gas one night. It was really freaking gross. It smelled like rotten fish and gasoline.

Creative Work of the Day:


Write a short poem/story about a naive cashier in a crowded supermarket.

HAH! COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whatchoo need lol

Today in History!


On Aug. 4, 1914, Britain declared war on Germany while the United States proclaimed its neutrality


1929: Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat was born Rahman Abdel-Raouf Arafat Al-Qudwa in either Cairo or Gaza.

1944: Nazi police raided the secret annex of a building in Amsterdam and arrested eight people, including 15-year-old Anne Frank, whose diary became a famous account of the Holocaust.



Famous Birthdays Today:

Barack Obama turns 47 years old today.

Billy Bob Thornton turns 53 today.

Jeff Gordon turns 37 today.


Quote of the day: Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

C. S. Lewis (1898 - 1963)

I've played around with the Horny Goat Weed before. It really IS a wonderful experience.

Listening to the Dayglo Abortions: I am Whiter Than Hitlar (But I ain't no fu*king Nazi)

Woohoo...I was bored...Glad you liked it. Hope you all are having a wonderful day!!!

Hi everyone, I just wanted to say...



DRUGS!!!!

pale

I know you've heard the story of the three little pigs. You've probably even heard the story told from the wolf's point of view. They're both a total lie. I was there that fatefull day, when the wolf went on a rampage. Would you like to hear the story? It begins, as so many good stories do with...


Once, upon a time, there were three little pigs. They weren't related, like you'd be led to believe by the other stories. They were the closest of friends. One day they decided to leave their co-op house in Porkville, and make a name for themselves.
The first little pig, who's name was actually Percival, Percy for short, went out West and made quite the living for himself making umbrellas out of straw.
The second little pig, Stewart, headed up North and became quite prosperous, by building wooden rocker chairs and selling them on E-bay. The third, and last, little pig, Edward, went South, and started a great little business making, and installing, brick fireplaces and chimmenys.
Now time went on, as it so often does, and the three little pigs continued to live in luxury, without a care in the world. Then one night, Percy recieved an e-mail from Edward. It's terrible, the e-mail said. Porkville was attacked by a gang of wolves. The entire town was destroyed. The townspigs were able to kill all but one of them, the e-mail went on to say. Percival read the rest, which went on to say that his, and all his friends families were killed in the battle. A lone tear dripped from Percy's eye. He ignored it, this was not a time for sadness. He knew what had to be done.
Percy went to his phone and called Stewart, who picked up on the third ring.
"Did you hear?" Percy asked.
"Yes, what should we do?" Replied Stewart.
"Do you still have all of Grandpa Stew's guns from the war?" Percival said. He was gripping the reciever so tight that his knuckles were turning white.
"I do, and I like where you're going with this. I'll get ahold of Edward, grab all I can from here, and we'll meet you back in Porkville tomorrow morning at the old Feeding Trough."
"See you there." Percy hung up the phone, and his knuckes cracked as he released the handset.
Percy sat back down in his chair, and closed his eyes. There was so much left to do. They would find that son of a *****, and drive a stake through his ****ing heart.
It was going to be a long day tomorrow, and Percy needed some sleep. He opened the drawer of the computer desk, and pulled out a bottle of SleepRx. He opened the cap, and tipped out a pill, thought for a second, and dropped out one more. He grabbed a half bottle of Jack from next to the computer, and swallowed the pills with a long draw from the bottle. Tomorrow....
Percy opened his eyes, still heavy from sleep. He grabbed the now almost empty bottle of Jack, and finished it off in one swig. The time had come.
Percy grabbed his duffel bag, packed last night in a drunken, pill-induced blackout. He looked at the clock, not enough time to re-pack, he had to hope that he had everything he would need. Percy walked into the kitchen, grabbed a fresh bottle from under the counter, thought for a second, and grabbed another one. He walked outside, threw the bag and the bottles in the back of his car, and headed into town. It was only a couple miles back to town, so Percy reached into the backseat, and grabbed one of the bottles. He cracked it open, and took a long satisfying gulp.
Percy arrived in town a few minutes later, and was taken aback by the distruction. He looked, wide eyed, at burnt buildings, destroyed parks, and pigs laying dead everywhere. The smell of smoke, and fried bacon was still lingering heavy in the air. Percy drove through town toward the Feeding Trough. He spied his friends standing around the burnt down shell that was once their old hangout. God they had good slop. He stopped his car, and got out.
"Ed, Stew, great to see you guys! I wish it was under better circumstances."
They looked over at him solemnly, "Good to see you too." They said, in unison.
"I talked to the couple people who survived, He escaped to the East, into the woods."
Percy looked at him, and said, "Then we should go now, we've already given him enough time to hide. The cliffs are to the East, he has nowhere to go."
Percy walked back to his car, grabbed the second bottle and shoved it into the bag. He threw the bag over his shoulder, and walked back over to his friends.
"Percy." Stewart said. "I forgot that I sold all my grandpa's guns to start up my rocking chair business. Did you bring anything we can use as weapons?"
"Oh crap," Percival thought to himself, "I guess there's one way to find out."
"Lemme see what we got in here." He said jokingly.
Percival set his bag on the ground, and took a long drink from his bottle. He set it to the side, and unzipped the bag. A smile spread across his face as he saw that his bag was filled with miscelaneous knives, and throwing stars.
" I think we can come up with something." He said, laughing.
"Dibs on the throwing knives!" Stewart yelled. "That murdering son of a ***** is going to get it!"
They all loaded up with as many knives and stars as they could easily carry.
"We should be quiet from here on out, we don't want him to hear us." said Percy, as he strapped on a belt filled with throwing stars. He strapped a clip to the side of the belt, and hung a short machete from the clip. Edward and Steward nodded in agreement. They all took one last look around to make sure they had everything that they would need, and headed toward the forest.
The three of them walked quietly down the worn path through the woods. Percy looked around for signs of the wolf, looking through the trees, and along the path. He found nothing. Suddenly, he spied a small patch of brown fur caught in the thorns of a rosebush. Percy tapped Stewart on his porky shoulder, and pointed at the fur. Percy walked up to the fur, and looked at it closer. There was a slight trace of fresh blood on the ends of the fur. They were close. He took another long draw from the bottle in his hand, finishing it. Percy tossed the bottle to the ground, and dug around in his bag for his last bottle. He was feeling pretty good by this point, the world was starting to spin, ever so slightly. One more drink couldn't hurt. Percy, swilled a good quarter of the bottle and, capping it, put it back in his bag.
Stewart and Edward, knowing how drunk Percy had become, stopped him and advised that the two of them should go scout ahead. Percy nodded in agreement, he could use a second to regain his balance anyways. He sat down on the ground, and watched his two friends walk away into the woods. "God!" Percy thought. "Why did I have to drink so much? There's so much that needs to be done. I need to close my eyes for a bit."
Percy lay down on the path, his eyes closed. The feeling of the sun beaming through the trees onto his face felt wonderful. Suddenly, he heard a shout from somewhere up ahead. Percy jumped up, stumbling. Things were spinning faster now, it was hard to keep his balance. "Which way did it come from?" He thought. It's hard to get your bearings when things won't stay still. There it was again.
"Percy!"
He followed the cry down the path. There! Up ahead, through the blinding dizziness, he could see the blurry shape of his friends and the wolf. It appeared as though the wolf had them backed against the cliffs. It was at least a hundred feet down to the bottom of the gorge. Percy ran at the wolf, yelling at the top of his lungs. The wolf turned, growling ferociously. Percy grabbed for his throwing stars and threw them, all of them, at the wolf, his eyes gleaming with rage, yet strangly docile due to the liquor. Percy stopped. The wolf was still standing. He looked to his friends, and saw that he had missed every single shot. They had all flown past the wolf, and hit the wrong marks. His friends were looking down at their wounds as they fell forward, slumping on the ground. He felt the presence of the wolf at his back. He slowly turned. The wolf looked at him hungrily, a thick line of drool slowly dripping from his razor sharp teeth.
"Little pig, little pig......"



This is my story, and I'm sticking to it. You might ask yourself, "Well where was he when all this took place?" I'm here to tell you to mind your own business where I was while this was going on. It was extremely hard to stay hidden through all of this. I risked my life to get you this story, and you're going to argue with me! I say good day!

Ok, the long awaited arrival of the finished copy...I was really bored, if you don't like it...it's not my problem.

"Percy." Stewart said. "I forgot that I sold all my grandpa's guns to start up my rocking chair business. Did you bring anything we can use as weapons?"
"Oh crap," Percival thought to himself, "I guess there's one way to find out."
"Lemme see what we got in here." He said jokingly.
Percival set his bag on the ground, and took a long drink from his bottle. He set it to the side, and unzipped the bag. A smile spread across his face as he saw that his bag was filled with miscelaneous knives, and throwing stars.
" I think we can come up with something." He said, laughing.
"Dibs on the throwing knives!" Stewart yelled. "That murdering son of a ***** is going to get it!"
They all loaded up with as many knives and stars as they could easily carry.
"We should be quiet from here on out, we don't want him to hear us." said Percy, as he strapped on a belt filled with throwing stars. He strapped a clip to the side of the belt, and hung a short machete from the clip. Edward and Steward nodded in agreement. They all took one last look around to make sure they had everything that they would need, and headed toward the forest.

Sorry it's taken me so long to finish, I left work early, and don't have a computer at home. I'll post the current update in a second, should be finished in the next couple hours...I hope.

hehehe...Mayhem.

Oh yea, I put in a bucket full of fairy tears...those are hard to come by, it takes a lot of patience, and a lot of negative thoughts.

And I got a tricycle

and I get a bag of pot. But I get the empty pop can too...weird


I put in a key to a Chevy Nova

I know you've heard the story of the three little pigs. You've probably even heard the story told from the wolf's point of view. They're both a total lie. I was there that fatefull day, when the wolf went on a rampage. Would you like to hear the story? It begins, as so many good stories do with...


Once, upon a time, there were three little pigs. They weren't related, like you'd be led to believe by the other stories. They were the closest of friends. One day they decided to leave their co-op house in Porkville, and make a name for themselves.
The first little pig, who's name was actually Percival, Percy for short, went out West and made quite the living for himself making umbrellas out of straw.
The second little pig, Stewart, headed up North and became quite prosperous, by building wooden rocker chairs and selling them on E-bay. The third, and last, little pig, Edward, went South, and started a great little business making, and installing, brick fireplaces and chimmenys.
Now time went on, as it so often does, and the three little pigs continued to live in luxury, without a care in the world. Then one night, Percy recieved an e-mail from Edward. It's terrible, the e-mail said. Porkville was attacked by a gang of wolves. The entire town was destroyed. The townspigs were able to kill all but one of them, the e-mail went on to say. Percival read the rest, which went on to say that his, and all his friends families were killed in the battle. A lone tear dripped from Percy's eye. He ignored it, this was not a time for sadness. He knew what had to be done.
Percy went to his phone and called Stewart, who picked up on the third ring.
"Did you hear?" Percy asked.
"Yes, what should we do?" Replied Stewart.
"Do you still have all of Grandpa Stew's guns from the war?" Percival said. He was gripping the reciever so tight that his knuckles were turning white.
"I do, and I like where you're going with this. I'll get ahold of Edward, grab all I can from here, and we'll meet you back in Porkville tomorrow morning at the old Feeding Trough."
"See you there." Percy hung up the phone, and his knuckes cracked as he released the handset.
Percy sat back down in his chair, and closed his eyes. There was so much left to do. They would find that son of a *****, and drive a stake through his ****ing heart.
It was going to be a long day tomorrow, and Percy needed some sleep. He opened the drawer of the computer desk, and pulled out a bottle of SleepRx. He opened the cap, and tipped out a pill, thought for a second, and dropped out one more. He grabbed a half bottle of Jack from next to the computer, and swallowed the pills with a long draw from the bottle. Tomorrow....
Percy opened his eyes, still heavy from sleep. He grabbed the now almost empty bottle of Jack, and finished it off in one swig. The time had come.
Percy grabbed his duffel bag, packed last night in a drunken, pill-induced blackout. He looked at the clock, not enough time to re-pack, he had to hope that he had everything he would need. Percy walked into the kitchen, grabbed a fresh bottle from under the counter, thought for a second, and grabbed another one. He walked outside, threw the bag and the bottles in the back of his car, and headed into town. It was only a couple miles back to town, so Percy reached into the backseat, and grabbed one of the bottles. He cracked it open, and took a long satisfying gulp.
Percy arrived in town a few minutes later, and was taken aback by the distruction. He looked, wide eyed, at burnt buildings, destroyed parks, and pigs laying dead everywhere. The smell of smoke, and fried bacon was still lingering heavy in the air. Percy drove through town toward the Feeding Trough. He spied his friends standing around the burnt down shell that was once their old hangout. God they had good slop. He stopped his car, and got out.
"Ed, Stew, great to see you guys! I wish it was under better circumstances."
They looked over at him solemnly, "Good to see you too." They said, in unison.
"I talked to the couple people who survived, He was escaped to the East, into the woods."
Percy looked at him, and said, "Then we should go now, we've already given him enough time to hide. The cliffs are to the East, he has nowhere to go."
Percy walked back to his car, grabbed the second bottle and shoved it into the bag. He threw the bag over his shoulder, and walked back over to his friends.

I lay staring at a sky

deeper blue than the ocean.

Thin whisps of cloud float by lazily.

A slight breeze catches my hair,

blowing it gently across my face.

Birds chirp contently in the background.

The breeze gains strength, blowing harder now.

The clouds grow bigger, fuller, darker

and the wind turns cold.

The rain starts to fall.

Harder it falls, stinging my face

and soaking me to the bone.

Lightning flashes, dangerously close.

The sky is black now, torrential winds

whipping around me.

I try to stand,

to leave,

but the winds blow me back to the ground.

I am helpless against this godless storm.

As the wind and rain batter me,

I hear, in the distance, the sound of trees

snapping in the violent barrage.

I roll to my back and watch, as the eye of the storm

passes by and for one quick instant,

Peace.

Calm.

Serenity.

Seconds later, the storm is back full force.

Debris is flying all around me, and all I can do

is curl up into the fetal position and wait for salvation.

Finally, the wind dies down.

The clouds lose their color,

and slowly vanish.

The sky brightens, and I slowly stand to my feet

and survey the chaos left behind.

post your silver tontie scores here and lets see how people do.