You know most guys pay for that!! lol wow she likes me!!

I dated a girl that had a br... ok she was double jointed

Just say something GOOFY here ...


AWWW shuckssss nope nooope mickey i can't sayyyy it noppe!

Joe and Bud are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Bud grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. Joe whips out his cell phone and calls 9-1-1. He gasps to the operator, "By tundering Jesus, I tink me pal Bud is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead." There was silence.... and then a gun shot was heard.
Joe comes back on the line; "Okay, now what?"

Wasn't it water the last time around? your shower has juice? Wheres my loofa!...my luck the soap is made of pepper spray

A few days after a big fight and things cool down and let her have the last word We lovingly lay down i rub her back with oils. gently kiss the nib of her ear while laying naked on the back of her and whisper is her ear hey your sister has the same mole on her butt too

Try and hold on for 30 secs ,,if you can!!!

One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers..

As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk driver, so now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out of the lot..

A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then, when the patron abruptly lifted his head, cranked the car up and drove out of the lot like a bat out of hell..

The deputy followed him and stopped him promptly..

He administered the breath-o-lizer test and it read 0.00, Confused, the deputy asked the driver what the hell was going on.

The driver looked at him innocently and said..

"Well, Tonight I'm The Designated Decoy

'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?''Yes. What can I do for you?' 'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin'
Marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside
Them logs, but he's hidin' it there.'
'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They
Search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open
Every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and
Leave. Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.'Hey, Virgil! This
here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they chop your firewood?'
'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

Actually no cause i'm using these new ear drops called drowed the b.i.t.c.h.out Good for long trip drives, first meets, last meets and inbetween. From the same makers of "Stuck on stupid" T-Shirts and Bitter B.i.t.c.h divorce lawyers are motto is: Shut up for once and let us do the talking!

growing up in canada with i irish father you have to watch a lota shows

Faulty towers, on the buses, some mothers do have them, Benny hill, Dave allen at large Doctor who . Red dwarf <<>like dr who just funny
last of the summer wine, are you being severed

had a "girl" friend 15 at the time 109lbs guzzle a mickey of vodka in 4 mins by 10pm we layed her out infront of her house rang the door bell and ran like hell (her dad was 6'4 and a biker)

well you just got me watching that now pure jokes!!!

That only happends when i snort my prozac..never do that with viagra my nose was hard for hours!!

OMG! you tube copy/paste this : Doctor Who Spoof (David Tennant in drag)


funny!!!!

I use to watch the old one (80's the fuzz ball hair guy) and only 1 of the new ones when is it on?

And that my friends in cute clean canadian banter! with a lady that has the brains to keep up

Instead of making a post about USA V.S Canada or men and women lol might be why half these guys are single ..

5 at home christmas party mom/dad found me behind the couch singing away with 1/2 a beer and sick as a dog 2 hours later

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<<<<<<<<< so where we going this weekend?