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Topic:
Courage to Change
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How often I look outside myself for approval! The project at work is successful, but my good feelings depend on having that success acknowledged. The meal I fix at home is not as tasty when no one compliments the cook. I resent the favors I do for my children when they neglect to thank me. We all need an occassional pat on the back, But when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and neccessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me. People may forget to notice the terrific things that I have done or may not be comfortable praising me. I don't have to take it personally. Self-pity and resentment are not my only options. If I learn to evaluate my own actions and behavior and to value my own judgement, then the approval of others will be enjoyable, but no longer essential for my serenity. Your vision willbecome clear only when you look into your own heart. ~Carl Jung Ohh how true this is your journal each day is inspiring to another. For one must look within and love what is there first before they can love another completely. Praise from another does bring us a joy from within just at times the thoughts that what we made a decision to do or something we did for another did not go unrecognized. It gives us at times within those reasons to move on for what we did or said was beneficial to another. Yes maybe it is like a pat on the back and makes our heart sing to know we have done something that was appreciated by another. But now if that is the only reason we do the things we do then yes at times we must look back within ourselves. For it is much better to do those things because we want to and they are performed without a doubt. Not having to think what we shall get in return just the feeling within you know you did it cause you wanted to. Once it feels as if you must then it becomes a chore or job and no longer are the same pleasures of the heart within ones self. Again I commend you for your writes for it does make me as well take the time to read and ponder. It gives me pleasure as well to see the thoughts of another upon these pages as well. Our minds are a Beautiful thing and should be keep thinking at all times.  
Please do not commend me on "my" writes my dear lady. They are not mine to own, they are shared with me daily from a meditation I choose to read and I am simply passing them along. Possibly another wonderful human being will learn from them just as I have.. (((hugs))) |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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How often I look outside myself for approval! The project at work is successful, but my good feelings depend on having that success acknowledged. The meal I fix at home is not as tasty when no one compliments the cook. I resent the favors I do for my children when they neglect to thank me.
We all need an occassional pat on the back, But when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and neccessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me. People may forget to notice the terrific things that I have done or may not be comfortable praising me. I don't have to take it personally. Self-pity and resentment are not my only options. If I learn to evaluate my own actions and behavior and to value my own judgement, then the approval of others will be enjoyable, but no longer essential for my serenity. Your vision willbecome clear only when you look into your own heart. ~Carl Jung |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Janurary 8
In pursuit of pleasures and escapes during our active addictions, we created a bubble of unreality around ourselves. Stepping into the bubble was exciting, it carried us off into gambling, erotic and romantic pursuits, or shopping, or drugs and alcohol. or the codependant thrill of scooping pther people out of their troubles. We used a whole system of half-truths and self-deceit to allow the bubble to exist. It led us to be more self-centered and more grandiose as we tried to force the unreal world to exist in reality. Now, as we live in freedom from our addictive and co-dependant behaviors, we continue to peal back the layers of unreality. We no longer fight with unreality as it is, or try to shape and mold it to fit our desires. We see more clearly by living more honestly. One of the benefits of a new life is we feel more clearheaded. Life seems simpler now, and we feel a peace of mind that we could not have imagined in the past. Lead us from the unreal to the real world. ~Hindu invocation |
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Topic:
WHATS FOR BREAKFAST?
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If I told, would I be banned?
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Janurary 7
Someone said something unkind about me. Are my feelings hurt? Yes. Should they be? No. How do I overcome my hurt? By detatching myself , "turning it off", until I can figure out what lies behind it. If it was retaliation for an unkindness I did, let me correct my fault. If not, I have no responsibility in the matter. Should I ignore or challange? No, I will let it go, least said, soonest mended. Nothing can hurt me unless I allow it to. When I am pained outside of myself, it is not that thing which hurts me, but the way I think and feel about it. |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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When things look blackest, it is within my power to brighten them with the light of understanding and gratitude. I realize how much depends on my point of view; my own wrong habits of thinking and acting must be corrected and only I can do that.
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Janruary 5
This day I shall concentrate on the inner meaning of the Commandment "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thy self". I will accept myself, for that is the primary condition under which the good in me can grow. Unless I am at peace with the child of God I am, I cannot love & help my neighbor. Regrets are vain. They interfere with the good I could do today, the making of the better person I want to be tomorrow. Condemning ourselves for mistakes we have made is just as bad as condemning others for theirs. We are really not equiped to make judgements, not even of ourselves. Thomas A'Kempis said: "All perfection in this life is attended by some imperfection and all our farseeing is without obscurity." |
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I don't recall YOU being that good so go get my coffee and ciggs 
Yes dear...SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Go get my coffee & cig...
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Janurary 4 Sharing experiences widens one's horizons and opens opens out new and better ways to deal with difficulties. There is no need to solve them alone. Humm that is unless you are alone then you do the best you can and if you must reatain the opinion of a friend. If your with a partner then they should be your board you bounce your thoughts and ideals off of in order to come to a solution to what ever the problem is. For a problem solved gives more time to tackle others that are pending.
I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening. -- Larry King |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Janurary 4
Sharing experiences widens one's horizons and opens opens out new and better ways to deal with difficulties. There is no need to solve them alone. |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Awww but what would the reasons be not to give your all in what you do. Besides in a relationship things will not always be perfect there is no such thing as perfect. At times one will be down and he other will be there to give a little more to bring them back up. But at no times can both throw there hands up and say I give up not if they expect it to last and be able to move on. A relationship is all about Trust, Respect, Honesty and Love with out those you have nothing. Two people should enhance each other never tear them down. Love is a risk but if the love is not returned it will never work love is a two way street.
Precisely!!! Hence, there will be times when one is not capable of giving 100%, maybe only 80&. Therefore the othe partner must be willing , at times, to give 120% in order to sustain the realtionship.. 
(((hugs))) |
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we like old buzzards, how are you ? This "Old Buzzard" is absolutely wonderful dear lady. How are you? (((hugs))) |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Our past is a part of us something that should never be forgotten but instead we should learn from it. Regardless of the things in the past we can not change what we have said or done. But........... we do have the choice on the here and now and the future to come. Learn from your past make amends and never burn your bridges as you walk this journey through life. For some day you may need to cross those bridges again. Never say never for you can not predict the future of what is to come your way. We can only take blame for our own actions and not of those from others. Forgive those that hurt you in the past and learn from them then move on. You can not make someone love you you can only love them in return. There is no relationship that is worth fighting for if yur the only one fighting for it. It takes two to give 100%. We can sit and ask why for the rest of our lives and still may not ever have the answer why one did not work out. One must learn to deal with the situation and move on they must realize they were not the one for them but... a mere stepping stone in life to the one they were meant to be with. Life is not an easy road to travel this journey we take is long and has many curves ahead. But at no time should we sit down and whine or just give up. Speak your peace and keep moving forward. Even when the road seems bleak if you focus ahead and remember your dreams you will see that ray of light ahead keep going forward and be willing at times to take the hand before you. Just make sure you repay the kindness you are given along the way. Just my thoughts after reading this thread. May you all find what you seek in 2008 and if not then keep on going till you do. Never give up for life is what we make of it we can either chose to enjoy it and be content or we can chose to change it it is up to each of us to move forward. And what if, at some point, for some reason, one does not have the ability to give 100% at that particular time? To love, is to "risk" not being loved in return. |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Janurary 3
Conflict is not bad; it is neccessary. In any good, intimate partnership, the two people reveal themselves, their differences sometimes are interesting & enjoyable and sometimes create conflict. A good colflict is open and honest and without ego. When one person reveals his or her thoughts, the other person listens and hears them as a genuine expression that must be taken into account. The simple act of listening is usually most important; agreement isn't always neccessary. Most of the time, a person just wants to be heard. Agreement is required when there is only one path that can be chosen. Then, the wisdom of two loving and honest people can lead to a mutual agreement that often turns out to be be a better than either individual path. The true, uniwue nature of any of any intimate partnership only takes place through genuine conflict and resolution. Crisis faced and resolved become the foundation for continuing and deepening mutual understanding and intamacy. "A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crisis." ~Andre Maurois |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Janurary 2
If I were to sit down in a quiet corner and look back over the happenings of my troubled life as though I were examining the life of someone else or reading about it in a book, how would it appear to me? I know I can do this by guarding against all self-justication; looking at the facts honestly. Have I said or done things in haste? anger or desperation that made my situation worse? Are there things I recall with regret? We learn from experience, and only by making up our minds not to repeat past mistakes. "When I am tempted or pressured into irrational behaviour, I pray that I may stop and think before before I do or say anything whatever. I ask God to remove these impulses and help me to grow into the person I want to be." |
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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well said! there is alot of change i need to make in myself and i really plan on doing that this year..
new year, new challenges, new risks and chances....new everything right?!~ Each day, a new beginning..
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Topic:
Courage to Change
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Janurary 1
In the new year, I will live one day at a time. I will make make each day one of preperation for better things ahead. I will not dwell in the past or in the future, only on the present. I will bury every fear of the future, all thoughts of bitterness, all my dislikes, my resentments, my sense opf failure, my disappointments in others, and in myself, my gloom & my despondency. I will leave all things buried and go forward in the new year, into a new life. |
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Does one have to be in 40's or 50's or can a REALLY Old Buzzard join in??
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Hello everybody im new to this site. im in the sacramento area, and im hoping to meet new friends since im feeling kinda bored. Im originally from the fresno area so i don't know many people around here. I don't suppose you are looking for a REALLY OLD dude?? 
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