Not a wiccan or a pagan, but happen to be familiar with both-- and with the struggles many have had to endure just to be respected equally among supposed neighbors.

Blessed be.

Yeah. Know a few like that.

"What the Bleep do We Know"?

"Blood Diamond"

"Man on Fire"

"The Matrix"

"Zeitgeist"

"Butterfly Effect"

Yeah. I know a few like that.

Also looking for a decent guy in jersey. I stress the decent part.

Major TOOL and APC fan, interested in just about everything.

Brillo

Too many people feel they are entitled to respect which they have not only not earned but have also, consciously or otherwise, abused. It's flat out pestilant.

I totally agree. You must integrate reason, emotion, intuition, and spirituality.

Agreed, and I want to add one more dimension of respect, if you don't mind. This seems the appropriate place to add this comment.

Looking back over the past, I can honestly say that whenever a relationship was in the process of ending, a breakdown of respect was a huge component of bringing the tension that had been bubbling under the surface to a blister. If you don't respect the integrity of the other person, you can never get beyond even the surface, stylistic differences, never mind philosophical differences or differences in core values.

I can't date guys who are not an intellectual match for this reason; either I eventually lose respect for them because I am continually frustrated by the dumb things they do, or they become frustrated with me because they can't meet me on my level. It inevitably turns into a challenge: the dumb guy / crazy girl dichotomy, which I would hope we all know by now, is usually just a false dilemma.

Being a fairly highly educated woman is no easy thing these days. It's easy to date if all you want in life are presents and the occasional compliment. If all you care about is physical attraction and you're satisfied with that alone, then sure, it's going to be pretty easy for a month or so at a time. But if you're smart enough to recognize that isn't really enough to support an enduring relationship, then this kind of front-loaded approach to dating takes a lot of work in the initial stages. It's easier to assume, to walk away, than it is to really get to know someone else.

The challenges, the difficulties-- those are the moments in any relationship that really answer questions of integrity and illuminate who a person is; but hey, who wants to stick around to get answers when you can just jump to the next person in line and start the cycle all over again? It just wouldn't happen this way in the real world. It's just not the same as getting to know someone you met through a mutual friend-- because at least in that situation there is some underlying baseline of common values-- the friend. The whole thing just seems to be so contrived, shallow, and artificial.

Unless two people are truly committed to acknowledging and tackling the challenges imposed upon a relationship by the situation-- by the mechanism-- then really and truly this does not work. Inherent in the operational nature of online dating are serious obstacles that can and will interfere with the establishment of respect if you fail to recognize them, or, if you let them go unaddressed.

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