smells wonderful..

I'm off to do some things, save me some?

Nothing absolutely nothing

Sage..yes it is LIFE and it meant to be lived..even if it is an endless stream of days...don't mind me any I'm just feeling a tad pessimistic today.

Good Morning...

A passion once consumed her
Eating away at her very core
Now she sits silently weeping
Broken and alone
Feeling nothing but cold
Warmth long ago left her being
Now she sees with out really seeing
Her eyes clouded and bleeding
Trapped inside her own head
Hearing nothing but her cold heart beating
Opening her mouth to scream out her anguish
Yet nothing comes out,silence even in her screaming
She steps off the edge of the building
Traffic rushing by below,As she slowly falls
Her body slamming with a great force into the cement sidewalk
Her head cracking and splattering out in a macabre painting
Her legs and arms all akimbo, hair floating around her head like a auburn halo
Even in death the silence accompanies her

Four blue packets of fake sugar
Exactly four, no more no less
She adds the creamer, 2 small tubs, no more no less
Stirring the coffee exactly seven times clockwise
Exactly seven times counter clock wise, no more no less
Her red lipstick coated lips pursed
Her shrewed eyes watching my every move
"Oh miss?" She calls me
She's known me now for five years
Sees my name tag every day
And still she calls me "Oh miss?"
"An English muffin please, lightly toasted, no butter
Raspberry jam on the side please"
Same order every day for five years
I know exactly how to fix it up for her
Placing it n the counter before her
Today..for some strange reason she reaches out and pats my hand
"Oh miss, thank you dear.I want to tell you that today will be my last day here
You have always served me well, quickly without complaint, a smile upon your face
I want to thank you for your service, for your smile each day, but mostly I want to thank you
For being here, keeping this old woman company each morning"
She quietly ate her English muffin and drank her coffee
I , rendered speechless, watched her in awe
She rose and turned to leave, stopping at the door
Raised her hand in a little wave and off she went into the brightness of the day
I didn't really think much more it it for the rest of the day
Went on through my shift,through out the endless stream of errands
Cleaned up and went home, more errands, an endless stream
The day came to end, and I slipped into my bed, weary from standing all day
Drifted off to sleep, not a thought of the old woman, red lipstick coated pursed lips
Back at it again the next morning, the usual early morning crowds, busy as a bee I was
Never noticing the time, until I finally sat down, a much needed break
A cup of coffee, the newspaper in hand, reading on about the worlds difficulties
Coming to the obituaries, rarely do I read, when suddenly a picture catches my eye
Her words suddenly filling my head, I read the brief blurb written of her life
She knew..she wouldn't be coming back..her words a good bye , her words bringing tears to my eyes
Feeling her hand upon my own, patting it,whispered softly as if into the wind
Thank you.....

what ever will be will be..

The ability to simply disappear..a snap of the finger and it was as if I never was..

She's gone, slipped away
She left me with a shirt
Worn the night before
Her scent mingles in it
More than just her perfume, her sweat
The scent of her, her natural smell
I breath deeply inhaling it
As if to hold on once more
Silently she rose from the bed
Dressed except her shirt
Which she left upon the pillow she laid her head on
Silently she slipped out the door
Leaving my sleeping form
As I dreamed of a future that could never be
She's gone, slipped away
I awoke with the sun's first rays
Eager to start my day with her by my side
I rolled over to reach for her
Hold her close, only touching upon cold empty air
And she was....

Friday..just another day in an endless stream of days.

My favorite sounds are many...the laughter of children, a heart beat, rain upon the leaves,the gentle song of a creek,the inhalations and exhalations of a lover laying next to me as he sleeps,an Aussie accent as it whispers through space and time to reach my soul,the laughter or friends though never before heard I hear it in my soul,wind in the trees, the roar of a Harley as it first starts(sends a chill down my spine and causes my heart to beat faster),my mothers voice as it echoes through my soul,the sound of some one biting into a Rolo,the soft purr of my many cats as they lay sleeping with me in my bed,the neigh and whinny of a horse(it stirs a primal force in me bringing me back into my past lives),my fathers deep rich timbre as he says I love you to my step mother, the gentle North Carolina twang of my brothers voice,the sea as it crashes over me,the clicking and clacking of the keys as I write away my pain.

My favorite scents..they too are many, the smell of a newborn baby,the scent of fall in the air, smoke from a woodstove,fresh cut grass,cinnamon,patchouli,the scent of oil & gas from a Harley( you will never understand this unless its in your blood)
coffee first thing in the morning, the scent of a cigarette when first lit,the scent of puppies, horse manure, calves breath(smells so sweet,mothers milk)the scent of rain(each seasons rain smells differently),the pages of an old book, the scent of new paper with fresh ink upon it,the scent of fresh dirt as you turn it over in spring,old hay, leather,the scent of him when he comes from the field on a hot summer day(sweat mingling with Polo),freshly crushed sage

My favorite tastes..again there are many..the first bite into the first tomato of the season,the taste of him as he comes in from the field on a hot summer day( sweat mingled with Polo), the taste of his kiss after he has eaten a raspberry( I can taste the sun, the raspberry and him all at once) ,cold crisp spring water as it flows from the spring on a hot summer day,my mother's fried chicken,a Rolo as it melts slowly upon my tongue,mangoes eaten slowly and sensuously,a tart cherry as it bursts across my tongue,his kiss after being outside in the winter chill(so crisp and clean),the taste of his essence as it glides fluidly down my throat,the taste of the first snow,a strawberry as it has been warmed by the sun all day

All of these sounds, scents and tastes bring me back in time to memorable moments and moments yet to be made, they are the essence of my being

The words with in this space in time, caress me in a warm and familiar embrace, and my tears fall as I search once again for the peace and contentment.

Goddess Of Love & Surf

and we enjoy when you dress up

Never saw the point of calling someone a name when their opinion differs from my own..

Save a plate for me Polson I must slip out now and take care of a few dark biddings that are screaming for attention

Good evening Allinoel

Hope you are feeling well Purple

Timmiez rulz!!!

Good evening Yeah

And what fine repast are we dining upon this evening?