fear is natural and beautiful in it's balanced state..it helps keep us alive and well...it's the irrational fears that cause problems....when the kids were all still young and home...and I was alone raising them I had a long period of living in flight or fight mode...I feared anything and everything that I felt powerless against....and sometimes that was simply the outside world....so nights were often long...as I would get up multiple times to check doors and windows etc..and still would have sleepless nights due to the horrific nightmares which would exacerbate the situation.
Obviously, this was during an extremely unbalanced phase in my life and the fear had reached quite the irrational level, I recognized this and pushed on, with time and determination and a little time off from my stressful job outside of the home (something had to give the kids weren't going anywhere)...it passed, well the worst of it anyway....then they reached the teen years...one by one..

Very nice write teadipper...sorry it didn't work out...but way to get it down on 'paper'!!

well, some but not too much...I really get silent because I try hard to make sure it is not just me over-reacting to something....'cause, well yea...been known to do that...those darn words are so hard to retract once they are out.

a bit stuck..need to break out of this mold.

I get really silent...as I try to count to 10 ...hundred...the kids generally start walking on egg shells about that time and the co-workers...leave me be until I am ready to talk.

thinking yep...seems I haven't seen you much...just saying I noticed. was thinking maybe you and "just some nerd" ran off together.

thinking...where you been?

oh my heart goes out to both of you...thank you both for caring so much and loving your job well enough to do it well...I took some nurses training way back in the day and learned quick I could not do it...of course I was quite young and impatient back then...anyhow...you are both angels...thank you again.

yep gotta join jeannie and pyxxie on the floor

prayers and well wishes your way...for sure..message me if you need/want to talk..

Happy Birthday Mikey...I still think you are the prefect gentleman...

hahaha...I love Nutella!!!

Hello and welcome. My best friend in the whole world is Pakistani..and lives in England.

This is a little off topic but to address a portion of the thread. while it is not a loan exactly as the receiver generally does not have to pay it back directly, it is certainly true all or a portion of the aid you receive is subject to repayment from a portion of, if not all, future support payments you receive from the non custodial parent. For instance, it has been about 16 years, since I spent a little time on the dole, I did not have to pee in a cup but I did have to sign papers to agree to repayment of sorts...and still to this day..just about every bit of child support they manage to get from the ex. from income tax returns, wage garnishments etc is taken to pay back the aide, even though he owed me 10s of thousands of dollars prior to me falling ill and needing aide for a period of time...but in their mind the debt to the state comes first. So, yea it is like I am paying it back because I do not receive the bulk of the child support payments.

You are just a big tease!..that or you are scared/shy...don't know but you have my number now, you ackowledged receiving it with some excitement..so use it already!

You tell her!..but then maybe what you had was broken in some way...and this time apart could lead to a new even better togetherness..

if he says he is lovely

RE: drug test for fork lift operators, there is a specific set of dangers and risk involved which warrant that precaution...but if they ask me questions about my personal life, which have nothing, in my mind, to do with me being able to operate that fork lift, I wouldn't be humiliated I would be pissed....and I would consider checking with an attorney or the labor department or the ACLU to see if they have the right to do so...and if not I just might file a complaint...

As for your other comments...same thing, the requirments are/were specific and relative. (by the way, hope you filed a complaint about the less than qualified teachers)

Believe me I understand policy and procedure and the necessity to take specific precautions for and with specific, risk, dangers or threats in mind. I work in insurance and have a pretty astute understanding of risk analysts.
Having to submit to drug testing simply because you ask for help certainly borders on, in my mind, being just a little too broad spectrum.

I am all for other forms of checks and balances to make sure the money is being used for it's intended purposes..i.e. putting a roof over the kids head, healthy food in their mouths, providing stability so their education doesn't suffer....if there is a drug user/abuser in the home preventing these intended purposes...it will become apparent....then further actions can be taken.

It is important we do not enter into witch hunt mentality in any of the hot point issues and guard the civil liberties of our citizenry; they have been too hard fought for. It makes me even more proud of our country that there are people out there fighting to keep things in check...especially for those who are not in the position to fight that battle....you want aid to feed your kids, you will play whatever game you have to play knowing your back is against the wall and you feel, at that point in time, you do not have a choice.

but hell, really, maybe we should be even more preemptive...let's just regularly drug test all parents because if they are abusing or even using drugs eventually their little offspring will cost society money one way or the other.

Just showing I can be sarcastic also.

kxjz 90.9 here in Sa ramento

My eyes are tired..I haven't read thru this whole thread....so I wont say all that comes to mind..but I will say this...I utilized the public welfare system for a period of time in my life when I was in need of help...I was/am a productive, contributing, law abiding tax paying citizen. With my pride already battered...how absolutely humiliating it would have been to have been required to submit to a drug test simply because I was in need of help feeding/housing myself and my children. I would have passed it with no problem but that is not the point..please note the key words here...law abiding tax paying citizen in need of help.