what if I can make you puke?

Here ya go Don...

A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.

His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"
























Oh, no: I never found her head.

I have beer

Whats up Bloody Elsa

sorry Rose

that was a bad innuendo...

I sit when I pee

did somebody say boobs?

whoa

I have competition tonight

off subject, theres alot of people on here from TX eh?

emotion at first, then I get smart and remember that gets me into trouble... usually logic.

Other countries have higher standards (like in Japan) for American drivers... we are considered experienced and certified. Weird sh*t. I do agree though, more than half the people that are driving don't deserve their licenses.

Don't worry, it's a light one . . .


The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.

One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess”

“And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.



“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!”

“Very good,” said the teacher. “Now, Lucy?”

“Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.

We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don’t count your chickens until they’re hatched.”

“That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, ” What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”

“Don’t screw with Uncle Bob when he’s been drinking.”

We're not going there again are we babe? It still hurts

I bought a sizzleine screen to block those pesky porkers

Power granted

pigs are just people that got picked on in high school looking for revenge