mm hmm

ddo they even show you who rates you? it would suck if ia unch of jabbas from star wars. well, keep your head up, man. im sure any of those girls couldnt be lucky enough to get with a good guy like you

indeed. well, i separated my shoulder today

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?



Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?


If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?


If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?


Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole plane out of it?


Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why call it a building if it's already been built?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do we call it a hot water heater if the water is already hot?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Is there another word for thesaurus?

Is the color orange called that because it's the color of the fruit of the same name, or was the fruit called orange because that's its color? Which came first, the color or the fruit?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?

What do they pack Styrofoam in?

Why did God give men nipples?

Is grass really greener on the other side?

Do boxer shorts box?

Why do you wear a pair of panties and only one bra?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why is it called a "near miss" when you don't hit something?

When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?

Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?

If you spin an Oriental person around and around, does he become disorientated?

If a vegetable goes into a coma, is it called a person?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?

If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box what color would it change to?

Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know the time? Do I point to my crotch when I want to know where the bathroom is?

Why is there an 's' in lisp?

If you were scared half to death twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If you asked a librarian where the books on self help were would they tell you, or would that defeat the purpose?

If ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine, why do we call it an ATM machine? And if PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, why do we call it a PIN number

poison

miley cyrus

rap

ricky skaggs, well, some of it i like. lol.

harvey danger

im thinkin' that i cant wait for summer.

good observation. not saying the guy didnt deserve to drive his shoebaru's home, but i say be glad you got back home yourself young lady.

totally popped you post-cheery on my thread. i'm honored.

really good profile. definately has substance, wich all profiles need. but very few have. the pictures could be a little more clear, though. maybee some shots outside would do the trick. maybe a better camera. im not sure. but i do know that you dont lack any communication skills. so, good luck!

noted. and thank you. but i really dont see the problem with my punctuation. granted, im not down with all that oxford comma drama. but its cool.

thats wesome!

im in pigeon forge, so howdy neighbor!

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these terrorists --- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration...

i have had a few. thanks for your input. greatly appreciated

yeah. totally agree.

well what i was saying is that it will be you every time!!

if you were all that hot, you wouldnt be lonely. IMO.

you lied about being hot

you can just keep switching them up and keep your man satisfied with having a new girl every couple days or so. then get mad at him for cheating on you.