I'm also tired of getting ignored or not getting any responses on here or any other site I especially hate when people flake out on me I should just give up already knowing I'm destined to be alone because God hates me

for people that say don't worry about getting married and all that I am worried because I feel like a complete failure knowing that everyone has a happy life except for me

I don't know if I trust anyone besides the doctor I had before

I have seen one but I can't see him anymore because I think my insurance expired

I literally want to die right now all of my friends lives are all hunky dory because they earn money by NOT working just so they can all sit on their *** playing video games and watch their stupid little cartoons while I'm not doing **** except working 40 hours a week at a job that I hate because my mom wants to **** on my dreams and force me to work at places that I never even want to work in the first place and the reason why I applied at those places is so people can get off my *** about it and I feel like I'm just going to end up at more places that I hate and will never achieve my dream as a professional MMA fighter

I feel like the only way that I can achieve that goal is if I had a special relationship with someone like a bond because I lost my dad 2 years ago due to cancer and it may have not been the best relationship but he was still my dad. I have seen a therapist who was like a father figure to me but he wasn't going to help me achieve my MMA goals but he did give me great life lessons. I need someone like Cus D'amato in my life. If you don't know who he is he was Mike Tyson's trainer and legal guardian and I would give my soul to have a paternal figure like him. His whole goal in life was to feed someone's spark until it becomes a little flame and than fan it until it becomes a fire and pour huge logs on the fire until it's a roaring blaze. Perhaps his most famous saying is when he discusses about a hero and a coward he says that there is no difference they both feel the same thing which is fear but it's what they do that makes them different. In other words the hero acts while the coward runs away and I feel like all my life I have been living like a coward because I'm afraid of failing and losing people close to me and not being able to do things by myself. Yes I feel angry because I feel like I'm not loved by anybody not even my own mother because all she does is ***** at me and I remember a quote from the Ninja Turtles movie that Master Splinter said to Raphael "Possess the right thinking only then can one receive the gifts of strength, knowledge, and peace." "Anger clouds the mind turned inward it is an unconquerable enemy." I feel like my anger has already clouded my mind beyond repair and that enemy has won and there's nothing I can do because I'm nothing more than a living tragedy.

the one thing stopping me from being an MMA fighter is my mom because she's unsupportive

I feel like not even God loves me which is why my life is such a waste

also with the whole me being bullied thing there's a video about Mike Tyson talking about how he was bullied as a kid and he said that it was like a terminal cancer and he's right and he believe it or not had it worse than I did he grew up in the ghetto and this one kid killed his pet pigeon for God's sake how ****ed up is that? he said that he basically grew up in a neighborhood where it's kill or be killed and had no problems stabbing or shooting someone that would pick on him or if they were bigger than him he said he would have dropped a tv from a building on their head he said he could be very malevolent and that no one should go through what he had to go through and that you shouldn't have that kind of reputation to let people know that you're a sucker.

I do need a woman in my life because I feel lonely I feel like if I do find someone I can fall in love with me and have my own family I won't feel alone and for once in my life I would actually feel happy

1 I want to be an MMA fighter
2 there's nothing I can do
3 I have none
4 is everything im a complete failure
5 I want to be champion
6 no because no one supports me not even my own mom

it doesn't matter because ******** like Bill Maher want to say **** like if you are over 10 and still read comics that I need to grow up and he's right

I actually did go to school to get my certificate as a group fitness instructor but it's not something that I really want to do in life I just did it because I felt like it was easy

My mom gave me the talk last night and she was talking about an RV and investing and saying it's too expensive to live in the OC and saying we might follow my sister and she asked me what I wanted to do but I didn't say anything because I feel like she doesn't care what's best for me and doesn't care about me spending time with my friends but I'm glad she said that I don't have to work at Stater Bros forever but still I feel like if I have a second opinion she will just brush it off and not listen to me despite me being an adult

I'll never get over the past and nor do I want to make friends with those who mistreated poorly I felt getting even was the only way it would work out because that's when they finally knew when to stop except for this one ******* who gave me a titty twister and I slapped him so hard that I broke his sunglasses and he didn't show up to class he sat behind a wall like a little ***** that he is also I head butted this guy in high school for making fun of my dog that died around that time and for calling me retarded but first I grabbed him by the shirt and was going to **** in his ugly *** orangutan looking face. I ended up giving him a bloody nose but guess who got in trouble? it's because the school system is run by nothing but a bunch of ******* who don't give a **** about other students and let the ******** get away while they make you the bad guy because people suck. you're right how I don't need a weapon because I already am one.

did I get blocked?

I did get rid of it but I felt weak afterwards maybe I should get a gun instead plus there's all kinds of wrong liking video games and **** at my age that's why people ****ed with me all the time because they thought I was a faggot I know you said something about a pet I mean I have a dog already but I would love to get a pug or a bulldog however they cost a lot and have health issues plus I'm not grateful for what I have because I have no place I can call home plus the fact that people like my grandma are gone

What am I even saying I don't have a life I'm ****ing 28 years old working part time as a bagger which is a job I hate I do **** that kids do like play video games watch cartoons and read comic books. I have trouble making REAL friends because they are all losers or get butt hurt when ever I make jokes I still live with my mom I have no place to call home since we had to sell our house and I don't even know why I even bother to be on this or any other dating site because I get no responses or if I am lucky to go on a date I just get ignored the day after. I mentioned that my goal was to do MMA because I used to get bullied a lot and I feel like if I make a name for myself all of that **** would stop and that way no one would ever try to **** with me again otherwise I'll end up killing them. I almost did kill someone a while back I had a knife on me and he was lucky I didn't use it on him because I have been paranoid after high school thinking I would run into old people that use to treat me like ****. Long story short he was some ******* who ****ed with me back in high school and he hasn't changed a bit. He had a picture of himself on Facebook holding a gun but when I got in his face he took off like a little *****. Anyway I know that I'm not wanted or needed by anybody and I know everyone wants me dead.

I'm sorry but I don't believe you when you say all group homes are the same because most of the people that live there have severe problems. I knew someone that lived there but he just used me and my other friends for money

I've also been hospitalized because I felt suicidal and what was the point in going there and making a new friend and not having the time to see her? same with this girl I met who I felt was the one for me because I never felt so much love from another person. I even been catfished on this one site before and all I want is to be loved. I don't even talk to women on here because how do I know they aren't cat fish and most of them are fake and don't respond anyway or live out of state or country