At the bar listening to the diatribe? I believe it was something like 94 minutes 35 seconds.

I was hoping maybe the drinks would loosen him up a bit and he wouldn't be so shy.

I'm almost sorry I'm making you guys read through it all. But I figured if I had to sit there and LISTEN to it, y'all could suffer for 30 seconds or so.

I am using the situation for laughs. Here's what one of my other friends said about it: I'm speechless! That's an incredible amount of info for a first date, and how noble of him to flex his knowledge about laws to a paralegal. His brother Jimmy is a cross dresser they call Jamie, but Bob is the crazy one? His mom has a GPS on his car, but again, Bob is the crazy one. He doesn't need a cell phone, or watch, because he has a sun dial for a brain...do I need to mention Bob? He's mechanically inclined, for everything except the AC in his car. Damn me for not wearing my glasses continually as a kid, I wouldn't need them now. Oh, and who the **** is Ed?

Please do whatever you can to remedy this situation and to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. Maybe a date with a random stranger as an exchange?

Thanks.

Yes, it was all he could do to pay for my one COKE. Otherwise, it wouldn't be "proper."

Fireworks with the guy or a display?

Good luck!!

I was wondering about the AC thing myself. And NO I am NOT seeing him again on Saturday night. Unless he drives over to my neck of the woods and buys me 18 beers and wears a muzzle.

I never thought of it that way. I'm sure he worded it that way to keep my input at a minimum.

The only time he was interested in anything I had to say was when he asked me if he had adequately portrayed himself in his profile and if I was happy, mad, glad, or sad when I met him.

Ewwww.

This guy needs to attend On and On ANON.

I was supposed to meet this guy (not from JSH) on Friday, but I got lost from the stupid directions he gave me and never wound up meeting him that day. On Saturday, I got to drive way over to the other side of the moon again, get lost again, and then when I finally found the place I got to watch him throw back Bacardi and Cokes while he droned on and on and on.

Here's what I've learned so far: He's very comfortable with who he is and doesn't need to change for anyone. He had back surgery about 2 years ago. He's a welder, contractor, jack-of-all trades. The AC is out in his car, but he's mechanically inclined. He doesn't believe the hype of global warming or that a bottle of hairspray destroyed the ozone layer (apparently the government did that). He has two older brothers, Bob and Jimmy (or Jamie his sister - that's a long story). He's always doing things for others; just wants to make them happy. He's always happy himself.

He likes Bud Light in bottles. He will only drink it out of cans at Ed's house or at the lake. He wore glasses as a child and, as a result, he now has perfect eyesight without them. He wanted to know if I knew about the new smoking laws in Snotsdale. When I didn't, he said "isn't that amazing? I know more about the law than a paralegal." He doesn't read or listen to the news. His car is a 1995 Z28 that he owes nothing on. He has a friend he calls Big Dumb Brian. He doesn't wear a watch but he's always early. He likes olives but doesn't really care for pimentoes (or maybe it's the other way around). He doesn't believe the area he lives (or where I live for that matter) is technically the desert. There are farms and things growing. He's never had a yellow garden.

He used to roll his own cigarettes and could teach the company who make mine a thing or two. He smokes Marlboro Lights 100s and pays $28/carton online. He used to smoke three packs a day when he had his company but now is down to about one. He doesn't need a cell phone for emergencies, because everyone who matters knows where he's at and can call him there. Just the other day his car broke down and his Mom just happened to drive by and see him. He has a brother Bob (the crazy one of the family) age 43 or 44, living in Canada (some place that starts with an "A"). For a while, he only drove a motorcycle, but decided he needed something with doors. He used to have a John Wayne collector's item rifle that he got from his Dad.

I had to sit and listen to all this **** STONE COLD SOBER. When I got home, I barely shut the door before I ran to the fridge for a beer.

Nothing's happening now, so things couldn't get worse.

Wow, I wanna hear how this all turns out. Maybe I'll change my profile, too.

I don't get it. I took time off when my Grandma died.

Wait until you meet me.