horse

ty marie....i am trying to hang on until monday. i have no one to come with me to the ER and i just dont have the energy to drive, the nights are horribly lonely and that is when this depression really hits. Reading the threads keep me going and the things that are written to help my situation.

I right now feel like crying a river because the pain is so deep. You are right it was a very emotionally abusive realtionship. i sit and wonder how did i let this happen and for so long.

Please keep the advice coming, please just until monday when i can get some help. the weekends aren't easy because it gives me too much time to think...

ok, I agree with all of you but sometimes I wonder if today in our society, because we convince ourtself that single is great and there are no strings attached, that we lose our drive to seek opportunities to be with the other sex. Therefore losing the romance of meeting because we are too afraid to make another effort to try again.??

true story: this guy i lived next to was divorced and single for about 8 months. After about 4 months of therapy and time alone to work things out he jumped head in to dating. He went on match.com, local singles, and eventually a city specialized dating service where you meet face to face. Believe me when i say he met some strange people, bitter people, and people that were clueless as to what they wanted.

However, because he really wanted to meet the right person (not just anyone) and he knew he wanted a realtionship, he never gave up and within 8 months found the woman of his dreams and now they are married.

I also know of a similar story of a woman that dated almost 100 men before meeting the right one.

the point being if you look at meeting someone as a job (in a good way) then you are less likely to get hurt because you are looking for the "right fit" your using your head and allowing your heart to be ready for love when the right one comes along.

Dont give up and ask yourself how much are you willing to invest...Ps- don't get physical until you are sure he is someone you want to know better!

lol...bear have u tried effexor? I have never heard of these drugs except prozac/lexapro...I wish i had some right now!

ty marie, i will look into the AA tomorrow. I would have nver thought of it but u r right he has a very addictive behavior and now that i think about it he has made several references to it. You must of really dealt with a lot of things in your life some of which u mentioned. but you have so much info to share.

After the few responses i am feeling better and hopfully because at leaast i have info and places to start.

I hope all is well with you....

ps- i think at this point i am going to look into antidepressants. are there any that you have heard of that may be good to try. ??

bear, it was because of reading soooooo many of others peoples stories that gave me the courage to write. lots of good advice and knowing you arent alone makes a difference......ty bear

ty bear and marie....your advice is welcomed. I nver knew there were so many help organizations. and places to turn. I really, really would like to talk to someone sooner then next week so i will findout about the things you suggested. Marie i just wanted to double check..you were saying to go to AA for my sake or to learn more about my x's behavior or both?? I think it is something i will look into this weekdend.

I feel sick to my stomach because i wish i knew about this sooner because the responses are making me see more clearly with what i need to do. It is sometimes hard to break free from the abuse when you dont have it pointed out to you!!! I am discusted with him and myself for letting it get this far. does

do antidepressants help with things like this??

marie ty and no you are not being harsh at all. I have not talked to ANYONE for a year until now. I just broke down yesterday. I was so desparate that i called every hotline and looked in the yellow pages. I did manage to get an appointment next week. After getting his texts not long ago i am filled with tremendous anxiety (which i did not have prior to meeting him). I cant say ty enough for your words because i need to get through this night so i can live again and breath without him emotionally crippling me.

i need to hear from someone because i feel so alone right now. it is hard for me to ask for help but i have truly reached a breaking point.

yes, he is the worst manipulator i have ever met. i enjoy men and love being in a relationship sharing my life but some how i allowed this very negative person in my life. I will have to examine that at a later time. I am not trying to be a burden to anyone but pls i just need support for the next week or two until i have my meeting with the counselor next week. I am alone here and i think that is in part why he was able to do what he did. Isolation.

SRY about spelling i am upset.

totage, ty for your response...I really need to here what my heart already has been telling me. i don't have any friends or family here. they are all in another state. so it has been tough and I am trying desparately to get back with good people so i can move on from this without seeing him again.

You are right, he knows my weaknesses. Again ty 4 your comment i needed to hear that and know that someone cares enough to say something to help me.

You sound like a wise person with a good heart.

I hope this gets posted. I have never wriiten beofre but i ned answers, i need something....most desparate HELP!

my ex-fiance tried to commited suicide last week. We broke up 3 weeks ago here is my desparate need for answers. Please don't judge....

our relationship was not healthy....he cheated many times (internet), almost got me kicked out of school, left me stranded on the freeway at night, ended up getting me 10,000 into debt, has allowed his friends to verbally abuse me and lastly got me kicked out of my new apartment the first day of moving in (had more then one cat and he refused to hide them before the apt. people came to fix the washer.) at that time was returning u-haul. Has lied everyday about something last week telling me the lady's number on his cell was to his lawyer. I knew this couldn't be true as it was an out of state number. Later he confessed after I saw his email from her.

so here is my problem.....I went to visit him in the hospital 2 days ago and he wanted to use my address to get disability but he lives in a different state. When i refused, the social worker tried to get my address and I told him i was not going to be apart of any fraud and he was not to use my address. After that i felt like my guts were ripped out I was in tears that even in my X's moment of so called despair he is manipulating people to get what he wants and most of all trying to get me involved with one of his scams.

It hurts to much to see or talk to him and I can't handle this anymore. I was severly depressed yesterday. He just texted me saying he was sorry and talking about how his friend is going to kick him out if he thinks of suicide while living with him. He is the type to kill himself but i am in such deep emotional pain and shock that i can't deal with this and my job is suffering my health is suffering and i don't know what to do. I haven't texted back cuz i feel sick to my stomach with all that he has done....help any suggeestions PLS! This is way above my head. His family doesnt want to deal with him because he has done the same to them.