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Community > Posts By > esperanza79
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Finding someone who actually respects me and respects my limits. I've found plenty who are up front about what they want....simply a physical relationship--and I'm way past that. Someone who is willing to actually get to know each other before anything physical, because hormones get in the way of a lot of things. They are a big help, but also a big hinderance.
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Brother, there are alot of down to earth honest women everywhere...lots the other way too, just as there alot of male "dogs". Honesty trust& respect, goes both ways, just as klc ya get what ya give, so give what you want. best tip I can give is don't try to change someone.....take that person 4 who they are, and if that turns out to not be what you want say thanks and move along, as much as there is give and take, in a relationship, ya cannot give and take a person's personality/traits, only habits, so know what u want and know you are not going to find 100% of that (perfection does not exist, and who wants perfect anyway, less that perfect is character in my books) "failing women" fail to connect? fail to stay connected? She's a big world out there with alot of great people everywhere, maybe ya just haven't crossed paths yet, u will. Very true. They exist, like great men exist and these are great words! |
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Topic:
Ex Bfs
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Time. And there's a book I love called "It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken." Stay busy, help others. I threw myself into going back to school and volunteering and re-focusing even more on my kids, for instance.
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Sometimes people are a little slower on the uptake then others. I'm too nice, in that I am always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt but if by date 2 or 3 the same negative things are showing..then likely it's something that wouldn't be worth pursuing. After one date dosn't necessarily give a whole picture....sometimes, but not always.
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Hiya Jess... She knows that if she leaves..she will be lost without him. She knows if she leaves she will remain alone for the rest of her life, since the one man she will ever love puts her very low on his list of priorities. She doesn't want to seem selfish, nor does she want to be put on stand by... Not true. She likely feels that way, but words like "Will," are absolute. And unture. If he leaves, she won't necessarily be alone for the rest of her life, and he isn't necessarily the one man she will ever love! This kind of thinking is what's keeping her there...and I really empathize because not long ago I was there. I've been there actually several times, and only recently FINALLY did I wake up and realize that none of those seeming absolutes were actually absolute! It takes two to work on a relationship, and if he isn't putting the same effort in, back away until he's ready. Of course by then she could have moved on but when you're at different points in your life and only one person is doing something....time to cut the ropes and move on. Only they can figure out what's important to them and what to put effort into. |
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Well, when my Uncle met my Aunt in high school, he said he had this "feeling" that she was the woman he knew he would always want to be with. He married her and they are still married. He has never wanted another woman. Has he been tempted? I'm sure he has and I am sure she has as well. But the one thing that is constant here is that both knew, and felt, deep down inside that they would not want another. So, to me, I believe they fell in love at first sight. Lust is easy do. Hell, I lust about five times a day.  But when you meet someone the first time, and you just get this feeling of like "Oh My God! Wow! He/she is beautiful". And then you lock eyes with that person and you just "know" something special is there? Does that exist? Guess I am a believer because I feel that it does. Might not happen a lot. But I believe it does happen.
Love it! |
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Topic:
love
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Love is conditional....and unconditional at the same time. Hard to explain.
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Topic:
Being the other woman?
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Just. Walk. Away. When you're coming out of an abusive relationship you are even more vulnerable then someone who hasn't. I've even been in a similar situation as you....and believe me you need to heal yourself first. Do not get involved...you will hurt yourself in the end, perhaps even hurt someone else. This isn't the basis for love or for a good healthy LTR.
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Topic:
Looking for successful men,
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OP, sounds like you're a little paranoid about gold diggers. To me, successful can mean a lot. It means they have goals and can support themselves. This is much more attractive than someone who settles for some minimum wage job that will go nowhere and relies on someone else for financial support. So true! |
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Topic:
Looking for successful men,
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Well "successful" can mean all sorts of things. Instead of assuming, I'd actually ask the person what that word meant to them. I guess that's just the courteous and respectful thing to do.
I've had guys get offended by my asking what they do for a living. I don't ask because I want your money....I ask because I like knowing about what another person does (it can tell you a lot about them sometimes) and hey, yeah, I'm sorry I'd like it if you were employed! Even unemployed because of the economy but looking for a job is fine...shows they DO want to work! It's not all about money for most women geez.... |
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Why can't women love men for who they are.......had to put in the ying to the yang Very true.....women have just as much flaws and can have the same serious flaws that men can have. We tend to expect a lot from men. I'm not talking about expecting the obvious--trust, respect etc--but it seems like women really expect men to be anything and everything. |
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Yes, need a big kaboom
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Topic:
Ok, seriously skeptical
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I have a serious question for all you minglers out there. I'm here to date and meet people. But I'm wondering if I'm going to find anything besides photos and long chat conversations. So I'm curious what the actually likely hood of meeting a "date-able" young women on the internet. Not to mention in my area. That and getting past the idea of "wait, I've never met this person" is stressful and hard to get past because there are a lot of untrustworthy people out there... I'm sure some of you have been here awhile and maybe many of you have had success. So I'm curious, whether I should be crossing my fingers, or out at the bar trying to find something close to a date. I mean... really... I'm not impatient just skeptical, for various reasons. Maybe someone can fill me in here. Because I've tried the bar... not much going on there. That and walking up to innocent young women and asking them out is strange and unprecedented. Any other ideas? Because after all I could just give up and wait till someone crosses my path like normal, busy people do. Something... Maybe its a matter of luck? I've maybe met one person who is interested in real conversation. THe rest have turned out to only wanting to get laid. |
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
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....am wildly curious as to why I am single...( I mean other than I choose to be). I'm intelligent, confident, can string 3 words together in a mildly coherant manner. And there's your whole problem. People on dating sites, in my experience, don't want anyone intelligent or literate or anyone with more than 5 functional brain cells. Because people with more than 5 working brain cells are "complicated" and "intimidating." Or so I'm told. Constantly. DOn't forget "bitchy." |
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Topic:
Do you think you can...
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I think you can if you talk long enough. Talking for a good length of time, over weeks or months, and you can get a good general idea.
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Topic:
Love or convenience?
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It exists...I've seen it in other people. I have never had it happen to me, but I know it definitely exists
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Topic:
Dirty young women...
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How come there isn't more on this site?
We (or they, depending on how old your idea of "young" is) are just better at hiding it then men is all 
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Topic:
Wal Mart
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Lamebook or failbook are both hilarious and yes, peopleofwalmart. Some things are just...scary what people come up with that appear on these sites.
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What's yours? The first one that springs to mind is Mr. & Mrs. Smith. I'll come up with some more when I get back. Dinner party for my best friend's birthday, WooT!! Mmmm that movie was like porn with clothes on I swear! The sexual tension was just snapping through that whole movie. That one, Walk the Line, The Italian Job, anything from Pixar, I can watch over and over. The first 2 SHrek movies. |
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Topic:
mothers...your input please
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No....I wouldn't do it. I used to work at a sexual assault crisis center and saw and heard too many horror stories. I have enough trust issues already, and I don't need to add something like this to the mix.
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