Depends on the finish that must be repaired but it is not something most people can do on their own. The tannin in the tea leaves has leeched into the finsh and possibly the wood beneath. A professional furniture repair tech can usually repair it or mask it well enough to pass unless you know where to look and what to look for. Sometimes the top needs to be refinished because the damage has gone too deep. Costs will vary with type of finish, the damage, how deep, your city and if can be repaired or must have top redone. Repair can cost anywhere from $125 - $200, refinish of top can be $255-$340 for average desk. If this is just a white painted desk, lightly sand the top with 220, use spray can of kilz stain blocker to mist over the stain. Then use white spray can paint and repaint top of desk. If you don't seal and block the pink stain first it will bleed through the new paint. Do in well ventilated area with no open flame. If in garage or basement and you have a heater or something, put out the pilot light! Make sure you have air flowing in and out. Guess you can tell what I do for a living. :-)

Yes, that is why we are separated and she don't want to try right now. We were a train wreck. However, she is working on her issues and I am now working on mine. Are you saying that therapy and counseling will not end the disorder and both of us are doomed to be codependent always? If that's the case there is no hope for a lasting relationship on mutual love, it will always be about needs.

I'm in Safety Harbor across the bay from Tampa

some really good points. I'm just so confused now. I did get a lot out of the relationship for years. Then she changed. Then it got rough and then I changed. She got worse and I got worse. But it was all due to these mental health issues of the codependence. I can see that and see why she did what she did and why I did what I did. Nothing violent mind you. Just that we were hurting each other and couldn't fix ourselves. Didn't know something was wrong.

So my thought is if it's mental, then she's not responsible because she never would have done this a couple years ago. Neither would I have hurt her or give her the cold shoulder or stupid arguments. So if that's the case, then we both should offer each other another shot once we work out our issues. I think.

But like the second post says, I didn't know I had a problem until she told me. So now do I have a problem or was it just love and my normal reaction to being hurt? I don't know. I know I would like what we had. But if it's not possible or my thinking is off or others have more insight then I can learn from others.

I'll be discussing it with my therapist this week but I just am trying to learn more. I thought I knew what I was going to do and now I haven't a clue and it's more cloudy than ever.

We have two kids too. I would like us to be a family again and can forgive transgressions under these strained circumstances. But I don't know if it's worth pursuing if she or I can't get over this codependency thing and it will just come back later and ruin us worse next time. That is if she even does say lets give it a shot. I have no clue what she will say a few weeks from now.

Thanks for the comments so far. Hope to get more people weigh in on this one.

This is a tough one. Recently separated, she's had issues for years, I developed them too. Only she figured it out first and rather than work with me, she left. I have codependent issues and she does. But she won't talk now and says in a month maybe she'll talk. But there's another guy. So I am a little messed up over it. I am going to a therapist over the breakup and I was just to the point I was dealing with it and thinking about dating. But then she lays this bombshell on me today on what her therapist told her and what she said about me. So I started doing a lot of research. I'm talking like in almost all day long. Yeah I have codependent issues, I thought it was love. But she seems more narcissitic than codependent. However, she said that's what her therapist said.

So, my question is, can the two of us, work on whatever it is and can we get back together if we do? More importantly, is there something I can do to show her I forgive the cheating, don't care, don't care about this breakup and would like the opportunity to see about working it out and helping each other fix our mental health issues?

Or am I dreaming and she'll never give me a shot or am I stupid and I shouldn't give her the shot and take her back?

I thought I had it worked out and was going to start dating again. But now I'm confused and figure if it was a mental health issue and there are legitimate reasons then they should be overcome and worked out, you don't dump someone over illness if that is what is causing their actions right?

Geez I'm lost now.