the sweet is never as sweet without the sour

see you in another life when we are both cats

haha great !!!

haha heard this awhile ago


So, God made Adam. Adam was walking around one day and realized that he was lonely, so he asked God for a companion. God said, "I can make a woman for you. She will cook and clean and do everything you ask her to. She will wait on you hand and foot. She will be so beautiful that you won't be able to take your eyes off of her. It's gonna cost you an arm and a leg, though."
Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"

Man Im tiger woods


haha what it is

whos bitter ginak?

its all in jest

did i offend?

krwayzie

had to ask...

whats the .1%

its possible to have sex and a beer though

FOR THE RECORD THE FIRST 2 ARE RETARDED


1. You don’t have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good.

2. Coffee doesn’t complain when you put whipped cream in it.

3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.

4. You won’t fall asleep after a cup of coffee.

5. You can always warm coffee up.

6. Coffee comes with endless refills.

7. Coffee is cheaper.

8. You won’t get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM.

9. Coffee never runs out.

10. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.

11. You can take black coffee home to meet your parents.

12. You can make coffee as sweet as you want.

13. You can smoke while drinking coffee.

14. You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.

15. Coffee smells and tastes good.

16. You don’t have to put vinegar in your coffee.

17. If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.

18. You can always get fresh coffee.

19. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it’ll be hot when you get back.

20. They sell coffee at police stations.

21. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.

22. Coffee goes down easier.

23. If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn’t put on weight.

24. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.

25. A big cup or small cup? It doesn’t matter.

26. Your coffee doesn’t talk to you.

27. Coffee smells good in the morning.

28. Coffee is good when it’s cold too.

29. Coffee stains are easier to remove.

30. Coffee doesn’t care when you dunk things in it.

31. Coffee doesn’t care what kind of mood you’re in.

32. Coffee doesn’t shed.

33. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.

34. You can’t get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in it.

35. Coffee doesn’t mind being ground.

36. No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.

37. Coffee doesn’t have a time of the month...it’s good all the time.

38. When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.

39. When you have a coffee, you don’t end up with a pube in the back of your throat.

40. Coffee doesn’t take up half your bed.

41. Coffee doesn’t mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have a cup.

42. INSTANT COFFEE!

43. You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.

44. It can take up to 2 weeks for coffee to grow mold.

45. Your coffee won’t be jealous of a larger cup.

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football.

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

8. Hangovers go away.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer.

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. A beer always goes down easy.

16. You can have more than one beer in a night, and not feel guilty.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know when you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony.

25. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.

27. When you're interrupted by a beer, it's for a good reason.

28. A beer is always satisfying.

29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

30. A beer won't tell you it's pregnant for fun.

31. A beer doesn't have in-laws.

32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.

34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.

36. The only thing a beer tells you is when it's time to go to the bathroom.

37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

38. It's okay to leave a party with a different beer than you arrived with.

39. Beer won't drive you to drink.

40. You can shoot a beer.

41. A beer chaser is easy to catch.

42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.

43. A tree is good enough for a beer.

44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

46. Beer and Ice don't mix.

47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation.

48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

51. Beer never complains about the wet spot.

52. You can put all your old beers in one room, and they won't fight.

You want = You want

We need = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(The answer to "What’s wrong?")

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an asshole

I don’t want to talk about it = Go away, I’m still building up steam

ouch

Splash


Maggie Gyllenhaal

he was the best in that movie


ight mine is

Maggie Gyllenhaal so fine

hell no thats jesus from The Big Lebowski

no one phucks with the jesus


Maggie Gyllenhaal

theres always JILL.
for those who don't know JILL just slap your self in the face with your left hand... no really..... slap yourself in the face and keep doing it till you figure it out.

what i'd give to not hear you'll shoot out again

ah phuck it shes already screwed

"A GOOD YEAR" watch it its good.

not as good as true romance though. but tarantino wrote it so go figure

the holiday isnt bad