Who's Driving against the Traffic?

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

Lenshappy

Tourists

#8 So very true Justy LOL

Its ok blonderockermom.... as long as you stay "blonde" and not go "blind" from micronoptic screen flickerings and pupil dialtions remain entact.... you should be ok.... LOL

LOL Geo "finger twitches" if that happens "alot" I highly recommend the masturbation thread

What if your wife catches me touching you.....?
I mean the suit LOL

LOL 12 steps huh.... so what is your poison there Quake???


You are looking very....healthy...and glowing....
YES YOU ARE!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!

Nice suit..... Tailor made????
LOL

Well Well Well Quakers.....

On a weekend pass??? Thank You for Honoring Us....
Brains bows a little ditty bow and giggles...
ROFL

Yeah I bet you know lots of girls...like that....LOL

Thank You....on joke and Welcome...
You can say it...and you just did lol

Coffee wench you are!! LOL


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31.Someone slips a disk, and you offer to format him another one.

32.Your boss asks you to "go fer" coffee and you come up with 235 FTP sites.

33.When your modem starts smoking.

34.You log-off your system because it's time to go to work.

35.If while reading a magazine, you look for the Zoom icon for a better look at a photo.

36.When you find it easier to dial-up the National Weather Service Weather/your_town/now.html than to simply look out the window. ((GUILTY!!))

37.When you find yourself engaged to someone you've never actually met; except through e-mail.

38.When your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals.

39.When you can access the Net - via your portable and cellular phone.

40.If you put your e-mail address in the upper left-hand corner of envelopes.

41.You maintain more than 6 e-mail addresses and/or use more than 20 passwords.

42.You set up your own Web page.

43.You set up a Web page for each of your kids.

44.And your pets have pages too...

Here are more signs..... this is sooooo sad.....
I FRICKN LOVE IT LOL

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21.When filling out your driver's license application, you give your IP address. ((guilty only once))

22.You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"

23.Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

24.You're amazed to find out Spam is a food.

25.You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications."

26.Someone says she put on net stockings, and you wonder if they're made out of World Wide Web.

27.You ask a friend, "What's that big shiny thing?" He says, "It's the sun."

28.You think Webster's Dictionary is a directory of WEB sites.

29.When using your phone you forget that you don't have to use your keyboard.

30.You think Edgar Alan Poe wrote "The Pit and the Pentium."

I think we should share this with all our friends LOL
ROFL Heather!!! you too?????

Maybe we should start a support group....
Hello my name is Brains and I am addicted to being online....

Our first meeting will be held online in each perspective time zones hourly, email to confirm... Virtual coffees will be served, if you can't make it I am sure someone has a blog (scroll up LOL) (ahem) (um)... yes post to "a" blog if you can't attend via "e"....ROFLMAoooooooooooooooooooooooo

1. Tech Support calls you for help.

2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."

3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.

5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "you can hang out."

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've gotten on an airplane just to meet some people face-to-face.

8. You have to get a second phone line so you can order pizza.

9. Your wife goes into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're going to be "away."

10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.

11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation or complete sentences.

12. You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.

13. When someone says, "What did you say?" you reply, "Scroll up!"

14. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.

15. You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you're online again.

16. You know more about your AOL friends' daily routines than you do your own spouses'.

17. You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they complain that your phone was busy, you claim it was off the hook.

18. You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to your own.

19. You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much than the truth (you were online all night).

20. You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.

ROFL

A woman walks into a pharmacy, strolls over to the counter, and catches the pharmacist's attention. "Can I please get some arsenic?" she asks.

"Arsenic? What do you want arsenic for?" asks the pharmacist.

"It's for my husband," she replies.

"Your husband?" exclaims the pharmacist, "I hope you don't mean what I think you mean!"

She just nods.

"Well, lady," he replies, "I'm an honest man. I can't sell you arsenic, I wouldn't if I could, and I don't know what made you think you could just stroll into a respectable store and expect me to sell you arsenic!"

She doesn't say a word. She just reaches into her purse, fishes out a photograph, and hands it to the pharmacist. It is a picture of her husband, in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist slowly looks up over the counter, and then straight at her. "Lady," he says, "why didn't you tell me you had a prescription?"


LOL

LOL

Yeah my mum too LOL

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

I think it would be hot having him crawl up to me and beg....


Me tell him no and him beg harder...

oh really????? LOL

Love the whole look, esp the glasses/hat....


Classical