I could care less about the rules; I have read them. And yes, every relationship starts in friendship, but if that's the only reason you're here and you're not looking for more, then... , why join in the first place.

This is a dating site, right? You know, a place set aside for those of us looking to find our special someone. Why in the world are there so many people here looking for "just friends". Shouldn't you all be on myspace, friendster, or facebook, and leave the dating sites alone. C'mon, it's a little misleading, don't you think. And the "I'm just here for the forums" line isn't working either. This is a DATING site...hello!

Family will screw you over faster than anyone else. I'd be pissed off too. What goes around comes around my friend. Just keep your head up, stay positive, take the right steps, and everything will work out in the end. You just learned another lesson in life; take note.

welcome!

there isn't one dude

That was pretty good

I feel the same way Grizz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IjQYkvfjAk

I’ve seen my share of unintelligent dogs (Labrador anyone?), but this one takes the cake. Watch what happens when he gets protective of the bone he’s gnawing on…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHS0iqnQApU

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.

The man asks, “Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?”

The nurse explains, “The hot chocolate will help him sleep.”

The man says, “And the Viagra?”

“Keeps him from falling out of bed.”

1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”
3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
4. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
5. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
6. Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
7. When you call radio talk shows, they ask you to turn yourself down.
8. Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyd’s of London.
9. You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
10. You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”
11. Your life goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
12. You channel surf faster without a remote.
13. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
14. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
15. You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
16. Your so jittery that people use your hands to shake paint cans.
17. You short out motion detectors.
18. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
19. You help your dog chase its tail.
20. You’re up to four heart attacks a day.
21. You think Columbia would be a great vacation destination!
22. You’re passing everybody on the freeway when you suddenly realize: you left your car at home!
23. You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
24. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
25. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

One day two drinking buddies, Jim and Dave, were working on aircraft at JFK airport in NYC. They got fogged in and finished up their work early and were sitting around bored.

Jim spoke up, “Man I really need a drink!”
“You know I heard a rumor you could drink jet fuel and get drunk.” Dave said.
“Really?” said Jim.
“That’s what I heard. Wanna try it?”
“Sure, hell I’ll try anything once!”

So with that they poured themselves a couple of glasses and began drinking the jet fuel. They sipped a little bit to find it actually tasted quiet good. So they drank more and more and sure enough they got stoned drunk. The next morning Jim awoke feeling like a million bucks he jumped up wet to the bathroom feeling great like he was floating on air he hadn’t felt this good in years. “Wow!” He said.

About that time Jim’s telephone rang… “Hello?”
“Hello Jim, this is Dave. How are you feeling this morning?”
“Man I feel great, no hang over, no sick, I feel like a million bucks. How about you?”
“Me too, but I have one question for you.”
“Sure, what is it”
“Have you farted yet?”
“Ummmmm No. Why?”
“DON’T. I’m in Phoenix!”

1. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 a.m.
2. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
3. Shows up at barn raisings in full “KISS” makeup.
4. He’s wearing his big black hat backwards.
5. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.”
6. Defiantly says, “If I had a radio, I’d listen to rap.”
7. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.
8. Uses slang expression, “Talk to the hand, ’cause the beard ain’t listening.”
9. Was recently pulled over for driving under the influence of cottage cheese.
10. When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou sucketh.”

yeah I know it was wrong!

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico . Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured.

The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.

The European community (except France ) is sending food and money.

The United States , not to be outdone, is sending two million
replacement Mexicans.

God Bless America

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you didn't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days--mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy 's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a
redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label, And the top is now the bottom. By the time grandpa figures out how to open it, he will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you Just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the a **hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge a** hole.


New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your a** . And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying "Do you want fries with that?"

Hey, I knew two girls from Estonia. Off the subject I know. I can't say anything about the topic that hasn't already been said. You'll know.