I'm living in the states right now ...I have all my life yet my Grand-mothers we're twins who immigrated to the U.S. from London , England , I have much family there yet do not know the first step to make about finding any of them , especially due to the fact that I do not have any pictures , names , and or Times of birth ...
I'm looking to speak to and make friends w/ ppl who are maybe a bit like me ...
I love to look beautiful , but I also do not mind hard work and getting my fingernails dirty , I'd love to be treated as # 1 and to be showered and LOVED most of all , and showered w/ gifts ...
Not once in my life have I been showered w/ gifts , I've always worked and taken care of other ppl , and still I have ppl telling me I'm beautiful all the time , I wish I COULD SEEE IT ...I WiSH I DID NOT QueSTION TO MYSELF "OK , WHAT DO THEY WANT THEY ARE CALLING ME BEAUTIFUL OR PRETTY" , THAT IS HOW I FEEL , I AM OFTEN IN PAIN , I HAVE BEEN WORKING SINCE I WAS 9 YEARS OLD WHEREVER I COULD TO HELP FEED AND CLOTH AND ALSO KEEP A ROOF OVER OUR HEADS AS A CHILD ...I DID NOT STOP WORKING AND CONTINUE TO YET HAVE BEEN W/ SOMEONE FOR 9 YEARS NOW ...
WE HAVE been through so much together ..SO much ...I appreciate and love him very much , and have a deep respect , and a deep loyalty to him ...but I'm bored . I would like to connect with other married couples and or married ppl altogether that don't mind sharing when they are lonely , that don't mind sharing the stuff WE AS NORMAL PPL WITH KIDS WHO ARE MARRIED YET ARE ALSO DEALING WITH THEIR OWN PERSONAL Demons .....
I have many problems as of NOW - this moMENT , this past week I have been so sorrowful, so Depressed , I know he tries , yet not hard enough , I'm awake at night , I hear everyone sleeping and carrying on in dream , but I'm awake , I'm staring at the walls , I'm getting up , then down , up then down , all to take a couple drags off a fag , then to lay down and get right back up to finish it , HAVE YOU EVER JUST FELT SO ALONE ???????????????? EFVEN MORE SO LONELY BECAUSE YOUR ARE AROUND PPL YET NO ONE CAN QUELCH THAT IMPENDING DOOM OF VOID WITHIN ME , please if you'd like to talk to me , please understand that I nneeed someone to talk to that understands all this ....Understands the fact that I have settled down and did whats best for my children , yet they are getting older , and I am too young to be old , and tooo old to be young , I'm right in the middle - just starting life as a woman who can be whomever she wants ...I'm always lonely , sad , and or depressed ...I do what I can do , I do what I need to do , yet usually after I'm all done I don't even get out anymore , I stay in and watch movies on my laptop , I have a nice figure , NOT FAT < BUT NOT STICKLY SKINNY !!?? LOL ! I have a figure that you would call curvacious and or volumptuous ........I have a very working mind that over - analyzes , I have a mind that I wish I could turn off .. I have a mind that can also make contact and ESP with those close to me , at times that is a curse because you know with your heart that they know what you are going through , but they never come around ...and you know for a fact they knows whats going on , and it could be very horrible depression on the brink of suicide and the kind of friends out here in the states is so random , every other person has some kind of ulterior motive for being your friend ....its very sad .
I cannot go and hang out with the ppl I was hanging out with before , so as soon as I start saving money I'd love to meet someone on here and come stay in london , United Kingdom next year at tax time , or as long as it takes for me to fill up my water jug w/ cash and then turn it in for Holiday $$$$$ ! I Hpe to meet some awesome friends and I Hope to have experiences like no other , please help me , or surely I will die from severe depression an please have skype so we can talk face to face at times and become very good friends and very (knowing of each other and how we feel ) an why we are sad people ? Please don't think I'm mad , I'm just very Sad inside ....and would love to meet ppl who i can connect with that are good ppl like me , there are no more stand up so called "FRIENDS" anymore , perhaps I WILL MEET A STRAPPING MAN HERE WHO will suit my fancy and we could chat all the time like best friends , that goes for women too , yet its not the same ??? LOL , OK off to try , thank you ....HOPE TO SEE YOU :)