ya once upon a time
ya know
back when I first joined this site
and like uh three others
ahahaa...ahem


I did this
spent hours doing the hair and makeup
trying to figure out what clothes to wear
took pics from all angles


ya know what?
if I posted a body shot
I got messages accusing me of being a 'butter face'
" nice body but her face dude"
and that was why I did not show my face
guys saying they needed to see me smile
or see my eyes

whatver
so then when I posted face shots
guess what? got accused of being a lard azz
and that is why I had no full body shots



see where I am going with this one?
after awhile it began to feel like adverstising
more than a dating profile

um, it says you just joined.. where have you been wondering for months?

..lol..all good.. just between you and me I don't think her husband died while making love... he probably killed over from carrying all the shoeboxes from the store

The word Recent, yes.
The word Widowed, no.

A loss like that takes time to adjust.

There are 5 stages of grief.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

Since every person is unique and deals with grief in different ways you can be sure that there is never a set time frame.

1. Denial & Isolation
Its probable you have already experienced the worst of stage one. Depending on how 'Recent' (to you) there could be relapses. Self-induced isolation might make it difficult for a bonding to occur. Denial could get in the way of recognizing the new unique relationship as comparisons are made.

2. Anger
The anger of loss could affect the quality of a new relationship. Grief affects emotional stability. Anger, a powerful emotion, could bleed into the new experiences you and your new partner might be having. A short-temper is hard to accommodate.

3. Bargaining
A bad case of the "If Only's" Desperately seeking justification outside of the reality. Most people want someone that is in the here and now, with them.

4. Depression
A sadness that permeates the perception of life. Lots of crying and inactivity. Attempts by your new partner to cheer you fail over and over. They may feel helpless and stop responding.

5. Acceptance
In this final stage of mourning you can talk about your lost love one without overwhelming emotional struggles. You are not seeking the essence of them in your new partner. There are no comparisons made or implied when you are with them. While your lost loved one is still an important part of your life you can readily accept another for who they are themselves.
If you are in this stage or beyond, congratulations!

Find yourself
Love yourself
Be yourself

Someone will notice.
Good Luck!

I've been a widow for 8 months... same as you...took care of ill husband for years/no sex...yadda yadda yadda....We were marred 34 years..
I joined this site to see what was in the dating pool ... just looking and yes, it is hard to make the move to know strangers...
I've ended up seeing an old boyfriend by way of a chance meeting...
Keep scrolling and looking...something will come your way
Stay safe

You are the age I was when widowed. I would say it gets easier and people have less hangups about it the more time passes but usually just isn't so.

I would stick with the truth but I think you draw a big red target on your back putting your business out there on line.

Probably better off talking to a professional or putting it in a private journal. Doesn't hurt to take advantage of the free aftercare available through hospice and any of the numerous well written books on the subjects.

Or give yourself a little more time before you go out as walking wounded.
That pretty much guarantee s you will do something you will regret. Not the least being hurting someone else and having that to feel lousy about.

I get the concept of feeling like you have been punished long enough without a lover of your own but that whole thing about your prime time is a myth. It is still all good when ever if you want it to be. My personal experience is it is a lot better actually later.
My sympathy and God's speed to what I hope will be a good future for you also.

no1
pls read the tread :)