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Community > Posts By > RollandSmoke
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Edited by
RollandSmoke
on
Mon 01/04/10 10:17 PM
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I don't think the way your question was phrased calls for her to ask "if you have a job"... What does it matter if posters want a person they date to have a job? It is their choice what preferences they choose in people they date.. Wanting someone to have a job is no different than wanting to date peoople of a certain height... If you're going to ask questions, you'll need to understand that 1) everyone has an opinion 2) it is each persons right to whichever preference they choose and 3) you may not always like the opinions you get but if you're going to complain about them either a) don't ask the questions or b) state "answer ...." and tell them how to answer... It'll be a dead thread but hey, you won't have to deal with differing opinions...  I am not complaining about anyones opinions, mearly playing devils advocate as I am finding the debate stimulating and as yet I've not put my cards on the table as to whether I work or not. |
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My point is that Employment status can change. someone with a job is not gaurenteed to have that job in a months time. Someone who is unemployed could be back in work in a months time. No-one would say that a single mother should not be considered dateworthy if she is unable to work due to family commitments and therefore unlikley to be able to pay her way if you take her out. People unable to work through health problems shouldn't be doomed to be alone I get that. But, you cannot force someone to date you, no matter the reason they're choosing not to date you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting to date someone who has a job. Just as there is nothing wrong with someone who is willing to date someone who is unemployed. There's no point in getting upset about it. I don't get upset about it. I know myself and my qualities and weaknesses. Hows about we change the occupation bit to a straight yes/no answer would that work for you? Have you read my posts? It wasn't really a yes/no type of question. Yes I have. I'm refering to the initial question I asked as to what my occupation has to do with anything. Why not just say do you have a job yes or no? |
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My point is that Employment status can change. someone with a job is not gaurenteed to have that job in a months time. Someone who is unemployed could be back in work in a months time. No-one would say that a single mother should not be considered dateworthy if she is unable to work due to family commitments and therefore unlikley to be able to pay her way if you take her out. People unable to work through health problems shouldn't be doomed to be alone I get that. But, you cannot force someone to date you, no matter the reason they're choosing not to date you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting to date someone who has a job. Just as there is nothing wrong with someone who is willing to date someone who is unemployed. There's no point in getting upset about it. I don't get upset about it. I know myself and my qualities and weaknesses. Hows about we change the occupation bit to a straight yes/no answer would that work for you? |
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My point is that Employment status can change. someone with a job is not gaurenteed to have that job in a months time. Someone who is unemployed could be back in work in a months time. No-one would say that a single mother should not be considered dateworthy if she is unable to work due to family commitments and therefore unlikley to be able to pay her way if you take her out. People unable to work through health problems shouldn't be doomed to be alone I get that. But, you cannot force someone to date you, no matter the reason they're choosing not to date you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting to date someone who has a job. Just as there is nothing wrong with someone who is willing to date someone who is unemployed. There's no point in getting upset about it. I don't get upset about it. I know myself and my qualities and weaknesses. Hows about we change the occupation bit to a straight yes/no answer would that work for you? |
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So it would seem that if someone is out of work they are considered to be a waste of space and not worth dating. This dispite the fact that due to the financial meltdown thousands of good men and women are loosing their jobs every week. Way to kick someone when their down. Maybe dating isn't a good idea for someone that is not employed. It's rather expensive to date -- even if a person is lucky enough to find someone that splits the cost. Not exactly, you can have a date for no money, or very little. You drive to their house for an intimate evening. Okay, you don't drive, you take the bus, someone takes you there, or you walk. A date can be done on the cheap. Bottom line is, do you want the money or the companionship? I prefer the companionship. Money comes, money goes. What happens when you don't live somewhere that doesn't have accessible public transportation? Do you expect your date to pick you up and drive you around everywhere? It really isn't all about money. Yes, people can go on free dates. If you are happy dating someone who is unemployed, that's great. You have that choice. Others have the choice not to date someone who is unemployed. My point is that Employment status can change. someone with a job is not gaurenteed to have that job in a months time. Someone who is unemployed could be back in work in a months time. No-one would say that a single mother should not be considered dateworthy if she is unable to work due to family commitments and therefore unlikley to be able to pay her way if you take her out. People unable to work through health problems shouldn't be doomed to be alone |
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No one said you weren't worth dating. No one said you're a waste of space. No one is kicking you when you are down. They expressed their opinion, since you asked for it. They choose not to date someone who is unemployed, that is their right, no one is obligated to date anyone. I'm pretty sure there is a type of woman you won't date- certain age, race, region, weight, height, looks, has an std, whether or not she has a bunch of kids or she's infertile, if she has a drug/alcohol problem, she's really religious or worships the devil, she swears a lot, doesn't bathe, doesn't brush her teeth, has a hideous physical deformity, has a "weird" political view, believes in abortion, or thinks it's evil- do you get my point? Because I could go on and on about what a person could be like, and I'm pretty sure one or more of those attributes up there would be a turn off for you. Does that make you a bad person? Um, nope. Does that mean you think those people are worthless and useless and you're "kicking them when they're down?" Um, nope, again. It means you have a preference and you would prefer not to make those types of people a part of your life. It means you more than likely wish them well and hope they find someone else they have more in common with. I delete and block emails from certain types of men all the time, because they don't interest me. I don't want to talk to them, it doesn't matter what they think they have to offer me, I don't want it. Period. I have tons of reasons why, depending on who they are. But I wish them well in their search and I hope they find someone who chooses to be with them. Just because the people who've replied to you indicated that an employed person is their choice, doesn't mean someone else won't mind dating you, you simply have to find that person. Sorry you're feeling useless and all that, and I hope you find work soon, but you can't get upset with other people because of how they feel, when they feel that you're not their cup of tea. Best to you.  I wasn't talking about myself in particular. More commenting on the generalisations that are made due to someones job or lack of one. Not many people have a job for life nowardays and using their current occupation as a benchmark as to the type of person they are is a fools game |
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So it would seem that if someone is out of work they are considered to be a waste of space and not worth dating. This dispite the fact that due to the financial meltdown thousands of good men and women are loosing their jobs every week. Way to kick someone when their down.
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Ok so would you consider a Volenteer worker or discount someone who's out of work for health reasons? In this day and age not everyone who's out of work is there due to lack of ambition.
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it's so that i can avoid the cattle-ranchers and taxidermists. They may be the most honest and down to earth people you could ever meet. People tend to generalise about professions. I know, I used to sell insurance. |
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I wonder sometimes wheather these sites ask for your occupation for data mining reasons or just so the gold diggers can narrow the feild down quicker. How much are you influenced by the occupation of a potential match?
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Topic:
Legalize or Terrorize?
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The kids nowardays are well aware of drugs and the dangers involved in taking them. Marajuana is not likley to cause major problems for most people who smoke it. That said, whilst it remains illegal the only way to obtain it is through a dealer who's only concern is making money and would much rather you were on something stronger as there is no pysical dependancy with marajuana and you could go weeks without buying any. If you go to an accident and emergency unit on a weekend you will see that alcohol is a much more dangerous drug especially when mixed with an idiot. If they over-do the smoke they just fall asleep
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Topic:
Mis-placed trust
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Thanks for the welcomes
I wrote this 10 years ago. I'm older and hopefully wiser now. My problem nowardays is finding someone to let in (hence I'm on a dating site) 
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Topic:
Mis-placed trust
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I confronted my demons
accepted that I'd been a mis-guided fool and wasted my life So I escaped my misery made some new freinds and when I found you I thought my heartache would end But mis-placed trust has left its scars and mis-placed trust is making it hard to find the strength to let you in and chance the hurt again Although I know you are different and my love for you's strong I can't help but feeling everything will go wrong Just to look in your eyes makes me so happy But I fear that you'll realise that babe your too good for me 'Cause mis-placed trust's still fresh in my mind and mis-placed trust makes it harder to find the faith to believe what I know to be true I can trust my heart with you |
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