Okay, I admit I only read the first couple thoughts above but I think I got the jest of the question. Suggest: Instead of wondering where things are based on the intimacy you're sharing with another..... VOICE IT!

You're not in grade school anymore passing notes and hoping it isn't intercepted by the teach :)

We've been seeing each other for X length of time now and I feel things are pretty great between us. So much so that I feel comfortable in exploring things seriously with you without any outside interference..... Do you feel the same?

How's that for an example for breaking thru all your wondering thoughts :)