my pleasure talking with you. hope you find a good, free lawyer so you can at least make ur situation BLACK & WHITE with ur ex. it'll get easier on u and ur son and don't worry your son is stronger then u realize. u sound like a find woman and im sure u have and continue to raise him great so don't worry even though his situation may NOT be the best he will come out a strong, independent and good kid. life is TOO short, but it's VERY long when all we do is sit here worrying. if u believe in God then pray to Him that He will protect ur son and give him ALL that he stands in need of, then u'll have NOTHING to worry about and just accept that some things are just going to bother you ALWAYS about ur ex. some say we need to let go of our hatred for people, but i say you just need to learn to accept that it's NATURAL and just learn to clear ur mind of it and NOT let it waste space in ur brain. i don't know ur religious beliefs, but MEDITATION has done wonders for me. sorry to keep u, now don't work too hard at work and hope to talk with u again sometime. take care always and God bless you and your children.

ahhhhhhhh ok i understand. im sorry didn't realize that. i live in california and there are many programs to help single parents here, are there any like that over there? i don't partake of those services though bcuz then they'd launch an investigation and go looking for my ex and i'm happy how things are now even though im just barely surviving financially, at least i have my son fulltime and that's MORE important then having more money. but there should at least be free lawyers paid for by ur state so that u can take ur ex to court, i would think.

katertots u really need to push the custody issue with ur ex. in my position i have refused to take things to court, but that's bcuz i have my son full time bcuz my ex wanted her "freedom" and she didn't want any responsibilities. i was fortunate for this in ways, however at the same time raising kids on ur own and paying child care and everything all by urself is just TOO ridiculously expensive, but i prefer this over taking her to court for child support and risking losing my son even if just on weekends. i NEVER stopped my ex from seeing our son and she STILL could if she cared to, but in my position i just do NOT want the courts to FORCE my son to go see his mother when all she's had to do is talk to me and we'd make some arrangements on our own, but that way i would know that she actually WANTS to spend time with him. but anyways, in ur situation i think i would be in court TOMORROW and i would fight for full custody and wish for the best and take whatever they end up giving you and then start documenting any UNSAFE situations ur ex may be putting ur son in and take him back to court as many times as you need to so that he'll either change or that you'll end up getting more and more custody of ur son.

katertots, i've been a single father raising my son on my own for over 3 1/2 years now and my ex wife has ONLY seen my son maybe a dozen times MAX and only for short weekends at a time. i know how hard it can be. my advice to you is to make things between you and your ex BLACK & WHITE. #1 i'd say tell him that his gf is to NEVER call you, there is NO reason for that. #2 arrange a SET schedule for ur shared custody and do NOT sway from that. #3 set some repercussions to take place in the event of him NOT following through on the arranged SET schedule. also make it PERFECTLY clear to him that you will NEVER leave ur son on his sister's doorstep ALONE waiting for his father. IF he wants to be a REAL father then he needs to act like one or stay away. more advice from my experiences is to NEVER close the door on him being in ur son's life, but to make it PERFECTLY clear to him that if he wants more freedom then go get it and leave you and ur son alone while he's off drinking and doing what ever other stupid things he's doing instead of being a REAL father. and if EVER he wakes up and chooses to be a REAL man and a REAL father......THEN come make some arrangements with you, but you and your son do NOT need him coming and going in and out of ur lives at his convience. life revolves around our children....otherwise we are not REAL parents. kids NEED stability of some sort. IF one day per month is all he could GUARANTEE to be there for ur son, then that one day per month is better then 20 days per month that he breaks ur son's heart thinking he's going to see his father and his father's off drinking or doing something else instead of being there showing ur son how important and special he is. well i could on and on and on, lol, but i'll stop myself now. hope i helped any and i just want you to know you are NOT alone in the world of raising kids alone or with having to deal with immature, selfish EX's. if u need someone to talk to or anything then i welcome you to contact me anytime at jared_shelby@yahoo.com
take care always katertots and God bless you and your son