Q: Did you hear about the morning-after pill for men
A: It changes your blood group

Q: How do you know when you're really ugly?
A: Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg

Q: How many yuppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, yuppies only do it in Jacuzzis

Who's the boss?
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said: "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers," she said. "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the one who wears the trousers in this relationship." With that she flipped him her knickers and said: "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your knickers!" She replied: "That's right... and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."

Birthday sex
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said: "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said: "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." Adam decided to take his friend's advice. The next day at the bar his friend said: "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," Adam replied. "Did she like it?" "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling: "I'll be back in an hour!!"

Dirty tricks
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and she replied: "I'm going to Las Vegas." He asked her why she was going. She told him: "I just found out that as a woman I can make £400 a night doing what I give you for free." He went into the house, packed his bags and returned to the porch. His wife said: "And just where do you think you are going?" "I'm going too!" he replied. "Why?" she asked. "I want to see how you are going to live on £800 a year!"

Hello to all my lovely friends out there or in here lol
So how's everybody on this Fine Windy Rainy Wet Cold day lol
Hope everybody is good.

Hello..
well i feel the pain too. i joined to make some friends and hopefully,, maybe,, 1 day i get to meet somebody who will want me for who i am.
im 35 years old. not getting any younger.. just getting older every year now.

so.. if anybody wants to chat.. mail me and we will chat.. till then.. the Forums will have to make do lol..

wow.... alot of replys...
thanks guys and gals.. much appreciated.
well ive read all the replys and ive taken it all in. so im going to stay and stick it out.

TIME FOR ME TO GET NOTICED AROUND HERE.
so thanks all once again..
u have all made me shake the cobweds away.

Ive been a member on here for a few months now.
and it seems like im going to be deleting my account.
Nobody seems to contact me, mail me, or even say a Simple hello how r u?

All im asking is for somebody.. anybody... well perfered females lol to just get in contact with me.

Not too sure if anybody else feels the same way as i do. but to be honest.. this must be the worse site ive came across. atleast the other sites ive joined. where they boring. but the members chat to ya.. so get chatting to me.. even if its just a Hello. i would respect u for that.

Colin

Hello to all the Girls on this site.
Im New and as my tag says. Im looking for my Queen.
Please read my profile before you message me.
I just hold an normal basic account on here. So i dont know how this all works with reading mail and stuff. some sites dont allow you to read mail if your not a paid member.
So please read my profile before trying to contact me. you might like what you read or maybe not like it.
Bottom line is. Im not really bothered if you dont like it.
As they all say. Plenty more fish in the sea!