Yeah... that's another bad thing... even amongst virgins you have two categories: "Virgins without the opportunity" and "Virgins by choose". Because I am attracted to the personality characteristic of virgins (the purity, the strong will power, the innocence, etc.), a virgin who WANTS to have sex ASAP is just as bad to me as somebody who has already had sex (possibly worse depending on the particular person-to-person comparison).

Like, for example, I have had the opportunity to have sex (more than once), and I have turned down all of those opportunities. I think such a decision makes me stronger and gives me more of a right to expect that other girls be virgins, because had I been a virgin who was only a virgin because I hadn't had the opportunity to have sex, then my will power would not have been fully tested.

So really, it's more about the purity, innocence, will power, and respect for the meaning of sex for me than it is about the actual physical aspect of being a virgin. And so even amongst virgins I may not find what I am looking for depending on the virgin.

I wouldn't expect something from a girl if I myself did not display that quality. Otherwise that would be rather hypocritical. So yes, I am a virgin.

I think you can get at least a decent feel for whether or not somebody is NOT a virgin. For those who are it's more difficult since I assume nobody is unless proven otherwise. Plus there really wouldn't be much of a reason to lie about it. Everybody I have ever talked to about that has been really open about it.

No, I agree with this entirely and I don't hold that against them at all. I thought I mentioned that somewhere, but maybe not - sorry.

I apologize if I come off that way, but I assure you that I am not. Sorry, I am very grammatical, and some people take that as being somewhat condescending for some reason. Also, I think because we have different opinions that you might be more inclined to think less of me for that reason as well and be quick to make assumptions.

I have never been called a jerk in-person or by those I have talked to. Not that this means much, but on personality quizzes my "accommodation" score is always maxed out, meaning I'm as far from being a jerk as I can be. In fact, I'd have to say being too nice is a downfall of mine.

It depends on the conditions. As I stated in my first post, if you had been with the guy for a long time and you thought you were going to be with him for the rest of your life, then I would be willing to overlook that. Being agnostic, it's not really marriage that I am waiting for, per se. I could see myself sleeping with somebody before marriage, but only after we have been together for a LONG time and I am certain we will be together for the rest of our lives. So if somebody else is in that same circumstance I cannot hold it against them.



True, there is no way I would know. However, I a doubt a girl would waste their time lying to me about that. I mean most girls who sleep around loosely are huge partiers, and that's not exactly something that they can easily hide.

Because you can get a feel from their profile. Also, a lot of people are over the age of 30. Honestly I just totally skip these profiles because I am looking for somebody closer to my age. So that really cut my 4000 results by more than half (I noticed a lot of people on the site are older). So really it was looking at maybe 500 profiles.

But yeah, a lot of profiles just provide that "vibe" that tells me we wouldn't match. As I said, I need a girl who is not a partier. If the girl has one of her interests as partying, beer, alcohol, or anything of the like, then I move onto the next profile. If she has kids, obviously she doesn't meet my conditions, so I move onto the next profile. If she smokes, that also doesn't meet my conditions, so I move onto the next profile. So when you factor in all of that, I've already had to bypass all but about 50 profiles. And then among those 50 things just won't quite match up for some other reason, like: "I'm looking for a real country cowboy." Not me. So when you factor in things like that, it's dropped down to about 10 profiles. So I just send them nudges, hope they like my profile, and hope for the best.

That's good. Hopefully I am able to find some. Sadly they're so rare that it makes it even more difficult to find one that is even remotely nearby (which is another thing about that one girl who just stopped liking me - she lived a little less than four hours away, which is pretty darn close for what I considered to be a "perfect match").

Most people don't regard it as a mistake, though, and actively seek it out. If I met a girl who had done it before and she really wishes she hadn't and would be willing to wait for me then I wouldn't hold that against her at all. But most people expect sex in a relationship.



Yeah... Well I actually have considered joining religious groups just to meet girls... but I'd feel bad, because they'd all be there for God and I'd just be there for a relationship - and not the heavenly kind. Maybe I need to try to become religious. I wonder if that would increase my chances. The only reason I'm Agnostic is because I've just never really gone to church because my parents never took me.

At the age of 21 (I'm 20 at the moment but will be 21 soon), what do you think my chances of finding a "pure" girl are? By pure, I mean one that has not had sex or one that has done it only once with somebody she had been with for a very, very long time and thought she was going to get married to. Also, I like a girl who doesn't smoke, drink, or party. I also have to find her attractive, though.

I'm really having a heck of a time... I've been searching for a girl like this pretty much my entire life. I finally met one online a little over three months ago and we hit it off great. Not only did she meet all of my above criteria but our interests matched perfectly (which is rare, I have odd interests), and we'd constantly say the same thing at the same time. Then when we met in-person she stopped liking me. This was very hard for me because I was beginning to lose hope before I met her, and she turned that around. Now I am wondering if an opportunity like this will come by again or if I've just lost the ONLY person who meets my search criteria.

And before you ask, because I know it will be asked: purity is important to me because of three reasons - 1) I am pure, and want a like-minded individual, 2) I think it says a lot about a person's character because it shows that they are strong-willed, 3) If somebody has not had sex before then it means much more to them when they do have it. I think of sex as both a physical, emotional, and mental bonding experience that should only be shared with those you love deeply and want to spend the rest of your life with. I couldn't leave somebody I've had sex with unless under extreme circumstances, because I see it as a bond; but if somebody has already had sex they certainly won't see it this way.

So... what are my chances? Any ideas of places I can look to find the kind of girl I am looking for? Sadly I've searched this site inside and out and only maybe three girls out of the 4000 results I was provided even came close to matching what I was looking for. And the funny thing is eHarmony told me, "You have no matches." My search criteria? The world.

Maybe the kind of girl I am looking for doesn't use dating sites at all, and when using MySpace/Facebook sites they never set themselves as looking for a relationship or dating? Because I don't get much luck searching through MySpace or Facebook for people who are looking for relationships or dating, either.