Community > Posts By > matt_1959

 
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Tue 11/10/09 11:37 AM
doggie

matt_1959's photo
Tue 11/10/09 11:36 AM
hi and welcom to mingle

matt_1959's photo
Tue 11/10/09 11:34 AM
r

matt_1959's photo
Tue 11/10/09 11:09 AM
hi hottie welcome

matt_1959's photo
Tue 11/10/09 08:23 AM


got call of duty mw2 last night at midnight its ****ing awesome graphics are amazing



That's what I hear, I can't wait!

i here its good to well thanx peps ps3 it is cant wate till sat to go get it

matt_1959's photo
Tue 11/10/09 08:03 AM
ever played

matt_1959's photo
Tue 11/10/09 07:59 AM
Edited by matt_1959 on Tue 11/10/09 08:03 AM
witch is better i cant pick witch one to buy

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 03:44 PM
There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.

She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me."

The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends.

"You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her."

"Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy.

"Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!"

"Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says.

He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl.

"Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me."

"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"

He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell.

"What do you want for some water?"

"You have to have sex with me."

Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die. So he follows the lady into her kitchen.

"Do me here," she told him.

He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea.

"Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!"

The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window.

"Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars."

"Then lay back and close your eyes again."

This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes.

"If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert."

"Eyes closed," he says.

Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms.

"Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy.

So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window.

One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!"

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 03:37 PM
hi every one

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 02:57 PM
no lime no salt no glass out of the bottle is the only way

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 02:43 PM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 02:41 PM
holy $hit that was funny pun intended

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 02:25 PM
whats up with u sexy

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 02:23 PM
hi hotty i mean holly

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 02:02 PM
i love to watch mash

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Mon 11/09/09 02:00 PM
coffiee and balyies anyone

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Mon 11/09/09 01:48 PM
one

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 11:28 AM
9

matt_1959's photo
Mon 11/09/09 10:32 AM
ya and i love ur clown pick

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Mon 11/09/09 10:28 AM
laugh laugh i like to watch the bugs bunny and twetty show laugh