If I was horny, then I would just go to a club and pick up a girl. But I'm not looking for that with her. I really like her.

And that's why I have decided to listen to you guys. I'm going to stick around with her. Last night as a joke I tried telling her that I'm going to leave her and she got upset. I really like her and I'm not going to leave her without giving it my all.

Anyways, I need help! I think I have trust issue. I have trouble believing her reason for not going through with the relationship. How do I fix this? Is it an ego Issue (gossipmpm) or self esteem like goodguy said? And I think I do read too much into her words and action.....How do I stop that?

Please Help!

_Terry

Red lace, I know where you're coming from. I'm asian too and my parents are very similar. They stress that education is everything. But of course, I have little more freedom than her because I'm a boy and I also grew up here so my parent adapted to my needs. Her situation is similar to yours, she has told me how her parents are strict and even right now, her aunt is enforcing the same rules on her.

Goodguy and Chicayoshi, If any girl from western culture told me this (I'm not ready and want to focus on school), I would easily raise a BS flag and move on. But I'm having trouble believing that she's not ready. I respect her and her decision. But I'm not asking her to marry me! It's just a simple and small escalation from friendship. I myself am very busy. I have two jobs and work on Saturday and Sunday, and go to school Monday - Thursday. We always hang out on Friday. However, I'm still trying to find some time to make this work. It doesn't seem like she's putting any effort in to this.

She's a very sweet girl and cares about me. Recently(after my confession), I was involved in a motorcycle accident and so she made me some home remedies for my bruises that she learned from her mom. I really care about her and that's why I can't see her. The thing is, it hurts me to see her everytime and I don't think I can suppress my feelings and be her "friend." Everytime, I try telling her I can't see her, she starts crying.

I'm just having trouble believing her and I don't want to stick around and be her friend if nothing is going to happen.

Thanks for the input, it feels good letting this out.
_Terry

So there is a girl in school and I've fallen for her. We've known each other for over a year. We don't have any same classes together but we still go out and hangout. She is an exchange student from Vietnam and she's very conservative. She lives with her aunt and her mom and dad are back home. She's here with one goal in mind and that is to finish school. We started out being friends but the more we hung out, the more I like her. So recently I revealed my true feeling for her and she said she's not ready right now and wants to focus on school. So I took it as a rejection. When she ask me to hangout again next time, I told her I couldn't and I told her I want to move on. That same day, I got a text from her cousin, saying she was crying and that she really likes me but can't commit right now.

My dilemma, I don't think I believe her when she says she's not ready. I think that's just a soft rejection. So I want to move on, but she won't let me.

I still have feeling for her and I like her.

What should I do?

Explain this a little bit more....How would you address something like this, either you look like a jerk or become "Just a nice guy".

hahaha that was awesome.....thanks. lol

Kay, I noticed you mention that I should apologize to her? But for what?

Winx, I know it was my fault for asking her out on a work day again but we were having such a good time talking that I forgot about it. And beside she did say Yes. She could have told me NO from the beginning and used "I'm tired after work" but she didn't. She even seemed excited when I asked her out... =(

Thank alot for the hopeful words.It is very helpful at a moment like this.
She did text me the next day after dinner. And said "Sorry, I missed the dinner. I've been busy. How was it?"
I have not replyed to her yet.
I still have feeling for her and find it difficult to move on. But I'm trying to avoid making physical or verbal contact.

Roco, You're saying that if I really want her, that I should continue with her game??
I do have the patience but I don't want to chase something that I will never get.

=(

The dinner is tonight. I have not called her and I'm also not expecting a call from her.
But I feel depressed. I feel rejection... =( I really liked her.
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone and setting me straight.

Any tips on how to cope with these feelings I'm feeling right now?

What about the dinner that we are supposed to have together?
I set up the date for that before our second "date". And she said yes.
It is coming up in two days. Should I even ask her if she is interested or just forget about it.

(Biglife) hahah no, of course not. I really do need a reality check. Thanks.

She was going to give me address to her house the second time I asked her out but instead I chose to play her game. That night, I did find her house though.

What I like about her?

She is a very quiet, shy and dedicated girl. She is very goal orientated and I like that. She has shown interest in me in the past but I realized it way too late.

She has went out of her way too help me out with my school project.

I know for a fact that there is this one other guy that likes her and she pretty much makes up excuses when he asks her out. But when I ask her out she always says yes. If she gives me a direct "NO" answer, I can move on with ease.

Derek, We are both around 23 years old.

I just read up on few "playing hard to get" articles and noticed that girls go a long way and get carried away with this concept.

I really do like her. And I know for a fact that she is a very busy person.

Hi,

I need help from mostly all the lovely ladies but also welcome gentleman's input on this.

There is this girl I really like and I am willing to do just about anything to win her. But what she did recently has pushed me over the limit and I'm not sure what to think of it anymore.

All right, so here is the story.

One night, she was going out for a friend's birthday party and told me I should meet her there. Something came up that night and I wasn't able to meet her. However, that same night, I did text her and told her that I might not make it.

Few days after, I asked her out.
She joked and said only if you can find my house. She gave me an intersection the major streets she lives around and told me to look for her car, it will be parked right outside of her house. I thought she was joking and told her that was a crazy idea and told her I would do no such thing. She finally agreed and said she needs some time to change and get ready. She gets off work at 10:00PM so I told her I will pick her up at 11:00PM. At 11:00, i call her, she is still not ready and ask me for more time. I said fine and give her another hour. At midnight, I call her again and she tells me she is not ready yet and that she is tired from work. I was frustrated and told her that we should do try this some other days. She agrees and said we should it on a day that she is not working. She told me that she is always tired after work.

A week later I asked her out again on a work day... I know she told me not to but I still did.
Again, she said yes. And I told her I will pick her up at 11:00 since she gets off work at 10:00. She agrees. Then I told her I will take her challenge on finding her car. She ask me if I was sure. I said "Yeah, I don't want to give you any reason to cancel on me tonight."
11:00PM, I'm around her block looking for her car. She tells me that she is not home, she had to help her friend out with something but that her car is home. I told her "Fine, I will continue looking for your car but let me know when you are done." Half and hour later, she contacts me and tells me that she is tired and wants to go to sleep. I was furious. Even after all this?? We are scheduled to go out for a dinner in two days. So that night I brought that into the conversation and asked her "If she is going to cancel on me for the dinner too?? I was furious.

That is the last time we talked.

My questions:
1) Should I apologize for what happened that night? Or did i have the right to be furious.
2) Should I even ask her for the dinner that we are schedule to go to in two days?


We have never actually went on a date. What bothers me is when I ask her out she never says no or makes up excuses. She always tells me yes and seems interested in going out. But when the time comes to go out she cancels on me. =(

I'm not sure if she is playing some kind of a game. Is she playing hard to get??

Terry