So why did you put one on me last night?

Didn't want me wandering off either?

Isn't it a safety thing? I mean, kids wander off all the time. That doesn't make their parents bad people or neglecting if the kid wanders off. If you are an active parent and have to take your child with you on errands, it is IMPOSSIBLE to keep an eye on them 100% of the time. Holding hands is fine, but the leash actually gives the child MORE leeway to walk around and explore a little bit. It's not like you're playing fetch with them is it? Does that make a crib like a dog kennel?

Hellz to the yeah

True love has no limits.

As a teenager, this kid dared me to jump down a staircase. Being the badass I though I was, I did it. I was like, "man my foot hurts now." 2 days later when it didn't go away I realized I broke my ankle, had to have it casted for 4 weeks.

I think you owe me a gyro though.

Kissing's a good start

That's an excellent point. My niece lives with 2 pitbulls and a spoiled chihuahua, and I worry more about the chihuahua biting her than the pitbulls hurting her.

...you name the table.

Weight is overrated when it comes to looks, but underrated when it comes to health problems. Let's face it: Americans are fat and lazy, and our kids are fat and lazy, and we're dying earlier, we're getting diabetes and heart problems and strokes, and then we send our food to foreign lands and their people get obese (China, who has seen more Westernized food expansion like McDonalds, has skyrocketing obesity rates).

If you're going to loose weight, don't do it because you want to look good in a bikini or you want to impress somebody, do it for yourself. Personally, 2 years ago I hit my max weight of 210 lbs (I'm 5'8"). I felt like crap all day and my self-confidence was at an all time low, so I lost the weight for nobody but myself. But, honestly I love women with a little extra padding.

You want to have both sets of genitals with a sexy man? More power to you...

1. Never ending chocolate, and by extension stuff to dip into that chocolate.

2. Elimination of racism across the world.

3. A victory of the proletariat over the bourgeoisie once and for all and equality for all man(and woman)kind

lol "Please stop popping my cast"

nookie

Ah, brings back memories....

Cake - Sick of You

I do a combo method. Then I use a wet wipe to ensure thorough wipification.

Have you tried the double down KFC sandwich? You know, the one that doesn't have room for bread?

That's not true, people still talk to me, and I'm not drop dead gorgeous or incredibly rich. I have girls talk to me all the time on here. They say, "get lost," or "gtfo," or "fix your face." But they're just playing hard to get, right?

I just made myself sad.

Nice taste, dude!

As for me, I'm a sucker for hot, hot wings.

I love community. There was a recent episode featuring a trampoline that I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

I didn't see a recent thread on The Office, but it is probably my favorite show. Got a favorite character (mine's Andy btw)? Do you think it will survive without Steve Carell?

No.
Hell no.

Ever farted during sex?

Does a mountain count? I fell down a whole mountain my first time snowboarding.

Ever met a celebrity?