I am all aware of her thinking he is this wonderful person because she doesn't know him, hence why I feel like she should wait until she is older. She went through counseling a year ago and I was told she is doing ok and that is why it ended so that makes me feel better for her to have some neutral ground to discuss her feelings. I agree if he wanted to establish contact he would after all it is just as easy to find me as it was to find him. I appreciate everyone's feedback as it help make my decision. (to wait for him or her when she is older)

She my daughter wants to meet and talk to him and i felt when she was older she could do that because even if the state says she doesn't have a father, she will always. I have always kinda stays out of it other than as she got older and asked stated that he wasn't ready for us and he had to leave since he had hurt us (no details and only that one because she didn't understand why he didn't just come back) I have never bad mouth him except the above because i know no matter what he will always be her father, but at 11 is she mature enough to establish contact on her own? let alone who knows what kind of place (emotional) he is in. I wish and hope for the best. I do feel it should be on him or her not me and if he did right now i wouldn't stop it, just stand back and watch for her, so i had always planned on waiting for her to do it on her own when she was older (16 or above) or him. I just wanted to hear what others thought for me to bounce off of

I have a daughter who is almost 12 and her father hasn't had contact with us since our divorce 10 years ago. Last time she saw her father was when she was 5 months old. His parental rights were taken 10 years ago due to domestic abuse (& I don't agree with being able to not having to provide for your child by abusing another, but the state decided that without my input) Anyways, my sister said she saw his profile on myspace and says I should try and contact him for the sake of my daughter. My ex/her father has never tried to make contact with us. So I need some advice if I should or just leave the past in the past &/or let my daughter initate contact when she is older.
Advice, please