A train driver was in court after being accused of causing a wreck by not signaling that he was coming. When he was on the stand, he held up a lantern to demonstrate the manner that he waved it but said the other train failed to see him. After giving a passionate testimony, the judge pronounced him not guilty. When the court was adjourned, the man's lawyer congratulated him on a job well done.
"Whew! The man told his attorney as he wiped his brow. "I was afraid the judge was going to ask me if I had the lantern lit!"

A pharmacist was entering the pharmacy he worked at. As he went in, he saw a very pale, frightened looking man standing against the wall. When he came inside, he saw the other pharmacist, a woman already filling prescriptions. Coming up to her, he said. "Do you know what is wrong with that man outside?"
"Yes." The woman said. "He came in here two hours ago with a bad cough, but we were out of cough medicine, so I gave him laxative instead."
The phamacist was incredulous. "You can't cure a cough with laxatives." He said to her.
"Sure you can." She replied. "Just look at him. He's afraid to cough."