So, I have 7 or 8 mutual matches. When I contact them, they all seem to have about the same literacy level and skills. They are all from roughly the same area, but none in my area. They all want to communicate via private email or text. None seem to want to type more than a few words, and they all use a lot of ...,,,.,.,,, in the messages. They seem kind of like bots. Is this normal?

Just wondering

Had a blond ex girlfriend who thought USB was a backup plan in case USA didn't work.

One time I was riding one and it bucked me off. My foot was caught in the stirrup. For about 5 minutes I was caught there flopping around and screaming for help. Boy, was I glad when the manager of Target came out and unplugged that thing.

The wife and I were trying to have children. She finally talked me into having a male fertility test. So I went to the clinic and told the nurse what I was there for. She handed me a little paper cup, no magazine or anything, mind you, and pointed me towards the bathroom. I went in and did what I had to do. I confess I stayed in there a few extra minutes so she wouldn't think I was a rabbit. Then I came out and handed her the cup
She looked in it and said ' Um, we only wanted a urine specimen ".

Boy did I feel silly.

Sorry, did I post this in the wrong place I thought this was the joke forum. My bad.

All I can say is, for injuries that affect that, uh, region, I have been kicked in said place. I have also had kidney stones more times than I care to remember, and once I got a perforated intestine that resulted in peritonitis and required a bowel resection to repair. And the peritonitis was, hands down, no contest, by far the most painful thing ever. This also includes a motorcycle accident that got me 28 broken bones and both lungs collapsed. Peritonitis is still the winner. If childbirth is worse than that, how are any of us even alive today? Only a lunatic would bear children then. Or a masochist.

My closest friend died yesterday of cancer. It was terrible how quickly the disease took him over. At the end, he was a wasted piece of human being who looked like he had been in a death camp. This is a guy I have ridden many miles with on our motorcycles. His last 24 hours all he could do was lie there and shake. A prisoner trapped in his own body. He could not speak. But I know he could hear me, because I played guitar for him for a while. I am a terrible guitar player, as he has told me many times. And I could tell he wanted to tell me again, because his shaking got quite agitated, until I stopped playing. It was our last laugh together, though I was the only one able to laugh.
A short time later, he was gone. Simply left between one breath and the next. His eyes were still open. I had to close them. I am glad his suffering was over. I know he hated to go that way. We both hoped for a quick death at high speed on some twisty road in the mountains, but it was not to be. I will miss him greatly.
He deserved a better end, but I suppose we all must accept what we get in that respect. His memory will live with me as long as I survive.
No, if you are wondering, we aren't gay. We had many things in common, and a wonderful friendship as well as a love of women. I at least can still continue to ride, in pursuit of women usually. Wish me luck.

people call me conceited.

Conceit is a fault.
And I don't have any faults.

She has excellent posture and technique. Breath in to fill the belly, then the chest. Exhale to empty the belly then the chest. Perfect.

Have you ever wondered why, if those pencils are so good, they are still number 2?

Have you ever wondered why abbreviation is such a long word?

A blond has her car towed to a mechanic. She tells him the car just died. After a short while, he has it running. She asks him what he did to fix it. He tells her, Ah, no big deal. Just crap in the carburetor.

She says, Oh. How often do I need to do that?

It is no longer a question. A kick to the family jewels is worse than childbirth. The proof? Because a year or so after giving birth, most women say they are thinking about having another kid. But no matter how much time passes, you will never hear a man say he is thinking about getting kicked in the crotch again.

Greetings all,

Trying this out for the first time, maybe I missed something. I got my first and only reply from a guy named Lisa who lives in England. That's a bit wide of the mark, as I was hoping to meet local girls. And, the message said he kicked me in the butt. I felt nothing. Is this normal? Not that I felt nothing, but is it normal for guys to respond to guys with a kick in the butt here? If so , why? Is this my destiny? Maybe I should stick with pets.

So now I am just here quietly miming to myself in the mirror. Every single joke I know violates at least 1 or more rules. oh wait, I have one...

What do you call a pile of kittens, question mark.( because my keyboard is broken)

Answer, a Meowntain.

Ha ha ha. I crack me up....