Not an unusual heart-breaker of a story. Single is an epidemic.
A further explanation is that the shift from being self-centered to truly loving another person never happened for most people. Stuck in child for the duration and terrified of a real closeness with potential for oneness, about which they know nothing.

Failure gives meaning to success. Take charge the power of passion for understanding. Answers and good people are out there though a rare find indeed. You might still need to fix them up a bit, I expect. If you know how.

we would have also accepted a simple,"It's you not me." and we still wouldn't believe you. Wait I'm still confused, is it you or them?

Perhaps you should be more specific, propose what exactly? and don't say marriage. "Marriage" aint whats its cracked up to be, and is most irrelevant in a meaningful relationship.

Horizontal happy hour?

What if it were proposed to spend the night with one rule, no sex; How scared would you be? lol

Marriage-on-paper proposal would be annoying at any point.

Forum rules apply: Is there a rule says you must have fun? It's been that for sure. Sweet waters

Remember there are *FOUR* cautions I only gave one. Aren't you a little bit curious?



also note the litmus test for a true synergy is the quality of the 2nd and 5th positions as previously mentioned. also we perceive, a mirrored reflection of the harmonic frequencies around the core (#4)

1 and 7 seem to reflect each other, 2 and 6, 3 and 5, a mirrored image when assembled, each reflecting its counterpart.

How did we get on grief? Perhaps we didn't prepare for the ride, got scared and the wheel broke down and we didn't get to the next level and the love we once felt died in a ditch

the 2nd spoke is always the most profound
the 5th spoke is always the most liberating, liberates the process.

For the purposes of illumination, enumeration. ...

Resistance to Miracles
1. The attitude of male chauvinism sees wanting and asking for miracles as weak, the act of desperate person. The price of male chauvinism is the loss of miracles.
2. Miracles come from beyond and therefore put you outside of control and make you feel outside of control. People don't want to deal with miracles because they are so afraid of being out of control.
3. Being of a quantum principle, miracles are unpredictable so people resist miracles.
4. The biggest and most poignant resistance is guilt. Why did I get a miracle and not someone else? There must be some duty, obligation or conditions that I would have to meet because I got a miracle. And I think this way because of the guilt.
5. I don't what to share the credit for this success with a miracle. I want all the credit.
6. Living the lie is still too important, still too invested in the past.
7. Lack of trust in your spirituality, in goddess, in your soul and higher self. And the fear of relying on the Trust you do have.

Doubt I can edit all this correctly sorry, still adjusting.
Wow lot of effort, so nice to get your reply, I return the effort.

"half the fun" - Not if we fail because we were too surprised by something we didn't discuss first, hence not shocked or frighten in surprise ... so many ways to take that ... but let's stick just to heart stuff for now.

Love first because without Love we would not bother to get to know them on that deep level - better than they know their own self. But it's just the first level of Love, and there are things we don't do on that level, you can imagine. We must get to the next level first < as I was once told years ago, and she was RIGHT. Yes someone told me before I knew there even WERE next levels. (confused smiley)

Semantics are important, and we must agree on the definition or we cant use words to communicate - "Arms, spokes, steps etc..." - these ARE the steps. Or spokes, if we see it as a wheel going round and round repeating the steps to the next higher level of love.

"..if we take Webster, meridian, or Oxford definition.." we cant use inadequate definitions, conceived far too long ago. Understanding evolves. They must be continually updated.

"..really quite simple nothing to fear."
One of the cautions (there are 4) when working with Mystery is::
3. Looking to make it simple rather than complex to make it mundane and ordinary rather than mystical and extraordinary. Cautions us not to do that. (you want to see the other 3, for certain)
Imagine someone knows you better than you know yourself ... the majority aren't so comfortable with that, according to the data.

"For some maybe, others will embrace it totally, myself being one of them." Then it's a date for some research, proof is in the pudding. Show me!

"..we state there are 5 levels of grieving.." yes more inadequate consensus definition, that is not up to date, is the 5 stages of grief, there are actually 7 .. okay I'm so tempted ... a picture is worth 1000 words, so I will draw the picture of grief and the wheel of love's momentum to higher levels (round and round)... it would take a chapter to do it justice and if your definition is different to what I'm thinking, it will fail. Even each step title must be defined correctly. Ready for new things?

Grief;
1. Denial
2nd or 3rd. Anger (reversible position order depending on idiosyncratic nature)
2nd or 3rd. Rejection and refusal of acceptance
4. Guilt for getting angry and not facing it more honestly (guilt anger you think you don't have a right to have)
5. Bargaining, if only this or that
6. Depression (repressed/depressed anger you think you'll get into trouble for expressing)
7. Disorientation that leads to integration, acceptance, changing, moving off of grief

That is 3 types of anger in all. Raw anger and anger with the masks of guilt and depression. How did we get on grief?

Wheel of love's momentum to higher levels;
1. In the depth of Love there is Intimacy (someone knows u better ..)
2. In the depth of Intimacy there is Magic (core type is Resonance out of nowhere, "whoa what was that, where did it come from?!")
3. In the depth of Magic there is Choice (scary because what if I make the wrong choice)
4. In the depth of Choice there are Miracles (7 reasons people resist miracles defined as that change happening inside of you)
5. In the depth of the Miraculous there is Majesty (scary awesome)
6. In the depth of the Majestic there is Magnificence (scary spectacular)
7. In the depth of the Magnificent there is a new level of Love

Resonance;
Standing wave that emerges from the liminal, between harmonic frequencies of vibration, oscillating with greater amplitude than the emissions : a quality that makes something personally meaningful or important to someone. The interference pattern of harmonic frequencies of vibration does not cause the Standing Wave. Rather it emerges from the liminal, from nowhere.

BANG! A standing wave EXPLOSION of LOVE. Sparks so strong we never felt before, get ready and prepared for this one !!!! So it doesn't knock us out of the pool.

That was just the prep outline. Now the real "half the fun" begins ... what happens in detail is the "exploration."

Love's mystery is endless and will never be resolved. Prep for the experience of a lifetime is a good idea when there is potential for loss. Jumping too soon is not such a good idea. And only each person can decide if they're ready, no one else. I am too ... xoxo

Sincerely, (anagram) GreenSorcery Ph.D on a higher level

"..not a great believer in saying there are a set number of steps in things" 7 colors to the rainbow, believe it .. when you have all 7, you have a synergy whose parts combine to make a whole greater than just the sum of its parts (white light)

Out of time for today, all apologies if I failed to explain it enough or correctly enough with words that make sense to you. Not for lack of effort tho

There are steps, or spokes to the wheel of love's momentum that must keep going or love dies in a ditch ...

yes "FEAR"
Sitka, Darling, you are very close to the reality. 1st comes love then Intimacy. Intimacy actually means when someone knows you better than you know yourself (not what people think it means). Terrifying for most people to be known so well ... and there are 5 more steps after "Intimacy" just as scary if not more frightening than Intimacy. Not knowing what to expect with true love and jumping in the pool is a bad idea, IMHO

Absolutely, the only way love happens. Otherwise it's several other things. Wishful thinking, pretending, being a player, fear of loneliness etc.

Experience: Once a day at least. Which does not mean it's a two-way street or wont die quickly. Divine love needs no reason to love. A two-way street is for making magic together - rare and precious thing. Example: the core type of magic is called resonance magic. (there are 6 more types)

Resonance
Standing Wave that emerges from the liminal, between harmonic frequencies of vibration, oscillating with greater amplitude than the emissions : a quality that makes something personally meaningful or important to someone. The interference pattern of harmonic frequencies of vibration does not cause the Standing Wave. Rather it emerges from the liminal, from nowhere.

Without magic, love does not survive in this world. I'm talking about a love so rare only a few ever find in a lifetime. I doubt anyone we are likely to meet can say what love does and why love does the things she does. Of course why would I even mention it if I did not know such things. Now you're supposed to be very curious .. It's gettin' so bright I have to wear shades.

I obviously wish to have your forum skills .. how'd you find me ?!?

lol!
yes I do, she recommend *me*. :
OMG are you kidding me .. lol

the problem we testing the breaking point is - what happens if it breaks? - testing has little to do with honesty, more like skirting the terrifying issues of Intimacy - meaning when someone knows you better than you know your self.

I want something terrifying, thrilling, emotionally breath-taking, where there is great fear of loss, because then I would know we are close. Wrestle the fear and face it, deal with it and move beyond into the sacred hallows where passion is found, beyond the fears.

I'd say you're in trouble and need a new girlfriend. she is not the least frightened of losing you

No enchantment and no love ::
Passion can get lost in several places but one place is in the hallows of beauty, love or enchantment. What happens when enchanted moments become divine? What happens when beauty all of sudden becomes sacred? What about when all of sudden the love we feel has a sense of ineffability, a sense of being holy? Beauty around me and beauty that all of sudden becomes sacred are two different things. One I love and the other can be frightening. When love becomes sacred, the fear of loss exponentially expands. "I may love love but the hallows of love terrify me." Passion lies in the hallows of beauty, love or enchantment, and we are afraid to go there, to a love where miracles happen.

And that's is why there are mostly those without the ultimate motive .. do you know what that is?
It's NOT just to do the horizontal happy hour