hey nursej I have this thing right down here that keeps swelling at the
most unopertune time... think you can help?

swing away song ... uhh can we make up afterward?

I'm not single I'm just to lazy to find her

the kind of mood that yearns for company.....bored as in other words

he seems to always have something nice to say

I walked into a Blimpie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a
sandwich.
I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that
said "buy one-get one free". "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she
said, so
I guess they're both free". She handed me my free sandwiches and I
walked
out the door. They walk among us and many work retail.
------------------
A friend of mine bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his
old fridge, he
put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good
home. You want it,
you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one
person looking twice
at it. My friend decided that people were too untrusting of this deal.
It looked too
good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50."
The next day
someone stole it. They walk among us.
-------------------
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them
shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and
said, Where?"
They walk among us!
-------------------
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction
was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up
every morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained
that the sun
rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said,
"Oh, I don't keep up
with that stuff." They walk among us!!
------------------
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I
got a call
from an individual who asked what hours the call center was
open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days
a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call
quickly, I said,
"Uh, Pacific." They Walk Among Us!
-------------------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was
moving." They Walk Among Us!
-------------------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a
seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
-------------------
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The
cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us!
-------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said,"Wouldn't the chain
rip
out every time she turned her head?"
I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart
no matter which way the head is turned. They Walk Among Us!
-------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your
plane arrived yet?" They Walk Among Us!
-------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6
pieces."
Yep, They Walk Among Us!

Memo

To: All Employees

From: The program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)

Date: TODAY

Re: S.H.I.T
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We
are trying togive our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T., please see your
supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T.
List, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing that you get
all the S. H. I. T. You can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. seriously will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS(D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who
fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE
ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. Before they were promoted, they
don't have to take S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T.
Already. If you too are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job
teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of
LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their life,
just not the same person who sent this S.H.I.T. To you...They have
already had enough S.H.I.T!

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm
gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

is that afraid of spiders with butane torches? lmao

I have had a few roomies over the years and I will never do that again.
It seems that whether they are freinds or family it always goes bad.. It
is either no bill money or thievery.

It is better to live alone that way if you wanted you can stroll
around your place wearing whatever you want or nothing at all..


AHHH naked at last so tired of being bound by clothes.


living alone has its own rewards.

cumming on a womans face and/or mouith is a little old for me it seems
all the younger girls want it done. I've even had them ask me afterwards
if my ex-girl would do that for me. ( turn off, don't ask about the old
girls)...


Personally I would rather blow a load all over their feet and toes...
If they are pretty enough....yes girl and feet

like I said I am probably not qualified I'm just a dumb old welder.

I'm not sure if I am qualified to start a new thread but I will try.

I have been a member for about a week and have been looking at some
of your posts in this forum. Gees can some people argue and bicker a
little less? I know for some it is a way of life for those people but
what I really want to know is...........


What do you think the meaning of life is?


PLEASE ONLY ANSWER IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY HAVE AN
INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION.

P.S. you may also welcome me to the site if you wish I already feel
welcome by finding a couple of friends.But we can always use more.