Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT???
Riverspirit1111 Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 100738	Sat 02/02/19 03:03 PM
all women want a guy that get's it without the need to hit him over the head with it Exactly!

I_love_bluegrass Joined Wed 04/25/18 Posts: 1665	Sat 02/02/19 03:04 PM
I haven't figured that one out. I do know a guy can have 3 things which can never be too big: 1. bank account 2. biceps 3. dick Women do like those things. I don't know what type women YOU hang with, but.. 1. If he has enough to be self-supporting and some extra where we can go and do fun things, that's plenty. That's what I have, and I do not expect less.. 2. Never cared for the muslec-bound dudes...never appealed to me. 3. Darlin'...I have been around the block a time or three..and have seen both ends of the spectrum..from those so small you actually feel sorry for the guy, because he has had to been made jokes of all his life....to the kind that were so big even with vasaline and a show horn it was a NOPE from me.. I prefer middle of the spectrum size-wise....average...

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1704	Sat 02/02/19 04:52 PM
Treat every woman as an individual. We're all different... making a general statement of what women want would be pointless because what Sally wants Susie might not want. Me, aside from things I'd like to have... mostly I just want someone to love who loves me back whole heartedly. To meet a man who is emotionally available and able to be intimate on an emotional level. That, and especially the last part, which is where it gets difficult as there's more women emotionally ready & mature than men. That does make it tough. Up until a couple years ago I seemed to only attract emotionally unavailable men into my life. I believe mostly due to my not giving myself permission to expect more... I somehow knew it would greatly reduce my chances of meeting someone because men struggle so much with being intimate on an emotional level. They were conditioned to be tough and strong... showing a soft side meant they are weak. That of course is wrong, I believe it would make them stronger because it would make them whole. I'm not okay anymore denying myself that want and desire, my last year of self reflection has shown me being single and alone is far better than being with someone and feeling alone. I'm ready and have faith that some day he'll show up... just wish it wouldn't take so long, haha. I'm also done with settling for less. But I think in general it's something slightly different that's the problem. Men seem to have more difficulty with getting over an ex. There's so many that keep ranting about their ex whenever they can, even 18 years after a divorce, are bitter and negative towards women based on a past experience and from that think it's okay to knock women in general. I don't see nearly as many women do the same thing. I think this is because we are far more used to dealing with and processing emotions and feelings than men. I also don't understand how they don't get their OWN part in what went wrong and take responsibility for that part as opposed to blaming the other party 100% for it going wrong. That's not an excuse of course, like you say, men can also develop and learn to deal with that side of themselves, unfortunately many don't seem to do that. I could respect if completely if a man would say "I'm too hurt, I'm not going there anymore." and simply take responsibility for his shortcomings. But the constant knocking of women on here... If it was my forum many postings would be deleted and a lot of people would get warnings as I do not find it acceptable. It's the 21st century, not the Middle Ages. In any case, I'm doing the same thing you are doing, and in the meantime I keep working on my own growth & development and healing my heart. . . . I suspect it is not so much about the ex or accepting their part in the break up but the long term pain of the divorce and its' affect on their lives. Most divorced men are much more bitter over the divorce process and what it has done to their lives than the ex. She just tends to be the recipient of that bitterness. Yes, I know most men are, which was exactly my point. It doesn't make sense. Women get hurt just as badly as men, their lives affected just as much and often even more so cos they are usually the ones who end up being single with kids. For them it's far more difficult to handle the pain and grief as they also have to be there for the children, provide for them, make sure there's a bit of a normal routine and food on the table. She often cannot shed her tears to let out pain when she needs to because she cannot upset the children who are hurting themselves. Now not every woman is still at the age of having young kids at home. But they still get hurt, often have suffered serious abuse. I have too. Sexual, financial, verbal, mental, physical. Yet, I recovered and healed, moved on and found new happiness. Sure, there were still sore spots, but I wasn't bitter, angry or whatever. Not about that ex who did that to me, not about men in general. If you'd know what I've been through... Not just me who got abused, my 2 teenage kids as well, including sexual abuse of my daughter. Yet, I managed to truly forgive him, heal, move on. If a woman with such a background can do that -and I know there are many with similar stories-, then why can't men? And if you (general 'you') can't, why not simply own up, say "I've become a grumpy person, bitter and disillusioned" and not knock 50% of Earth's population based on your experience. In today's world, women do not need to be the only caretaker of the children, Many families now share custody including physical custody of the children. Many women fight to gain custody of the children for some reason. You also are focusing on the emotional pain of the divorce which women probably feel more than men. The real pain of divorce is the financial destruction and the subsequent lifestyle changes it causes that you may never be able to recover from!

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1704	Sat 02/02/19 04:54 PM
Give me an honest, intelligent, logical women any day. Keep your emotional baggage to a minimum!

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33251	Sat 02/02/19 05:13 PM
A man putting his hand on my thigh when we're going somewhere in the car... Him sitting at the head of the table as opposed to opposite of me during dinner so we are closer together... Him automatically grabbing hold of my hand when we're out and about... I guess this all comes down to him showing his affection and feelings, both at home and in public.

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1704	Sat 02/02/19 05:23 PM
A man putting his hand on my thigh when we're going somewhere in the car... Him sitting at the head of the table as opposed to opposite of me during dinner so we are closer together... Him automatically grabbing hold of my hand when we're out and about... I guess this all comes down to him showing his affection and feelings, both at home and in public. Him showing his affection and feelings is much different than him being emotionally driven or allowing himself to be emotionally manipulated by you. A key phrase here: If you loved me, you would ......... Those words should never be spoken or insinuated by either partner in any type of relationship!!!!!

Riverspirit1111 Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 100738	Sun 02/03/19 12:57 AM
A man putting his hand on my thigh when we're going somewhere in the car... Him sitting at the head of the table as opposed to opposite of me during dinner so we are closer together... Him automatically grabbing hold of my hand when we're out and about... I guess this all comes down to him showing his affection and feelings, both at home and in public. Yes, those things and... A man who covers me with a blanket when I fall asleep on the couch. He listens when I'm upset, or holds me when I cry... he knows I simply need to be comforted, that I'm not going to break so there's no need to fix me when I'm a little emotional. When I'm sick he encourages me to lay down and he cooks dinner.

Rock Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 21249	Sun 02/03/19 01:24 AM
Topic: WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT??? They want me, to take the dishes out of their kitchen sink, BEFORE I pee.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33251	Sun 02/03/19 02:03 AM
Topic: WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT??? They want me, to take the dishes out of their kitchen sink, BEFORE I pee. No, in such cases we simply want the man to leave and not come back.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33251	Sun 02/03/19 02:07 AM
I know this guy who said something like "When I'm in love with a woman I go for it, even if I have to quit my job or move house. I'll just find something else and make it work." That dedication and prioritizing is what I want from a man.

Riverspirit1111 Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 100738	Sun 02/03/19 03:34 AM
To feel desired and like I'm the only one for him

JustBeHonest Joined Sat 10/06/18 Posts: 2691	Sun 02/03/19 07:41 AM
To feel and be treated special, loved, respected

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1704	Sun 02/03/19 08:11 AM
Yep. the emotional feel good stuff and they think that is what they should feed back to the man. What if that isn't what he wants from you?

I_love_bluegrass Joined Wed 04/25/18 Posts: 1665	Sun 02/03/19 08:16 AM
Yep. the emotional feel good stuff and they think that is what they should feed back to the man. What if that isn't what he wants from you? Then he needs to be straight up with her from the very beginning, so there's no misunderstandings.. But I have found that guys think you should get the "hint", or, they initially said one thing, then changed abruptly. (I'm guessing he was all charm and so forth to get her in bed, then he changed his M.O.) He just needs to find a woman who wants the same thing he wants, be honest....instead of finding a woman he likes and wants, and never asking her what she's looking for.. That's where the misunderstanding comes in.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33251	Sun 02/03/19 09:07 AM
A guy who can both give and receive love A man who loves to surprise me with little sweet things & gifts, and also likes receiving those himself Can relax as he has peace inside, feels at home in his life and body (some ppl are restless because of lingering issues and tend to always want to be busy or going somewhere). I guess comes down to having cleaned out the closets and is thus able and ready for new love. Give & receive

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1704	Sun 02/03/19 09:23 AM
Yep. the emotional feel good stuff and they think that is what they should feed back to the man. What if that isn't what he wants from you? Then he needs to be straight up with her from the very beginning, so there's no misunderstandings.. But I have found that guys think you should get the "hint", or, they initially said one thing, then changed abruptly. (I'm guessing he was all charm and so forth to get her in bed, then he changed his M.O.) He just needs to find a woman who wants the same thing he wants, be honest....instead of finding a woman he likes and wants, and never asking her what she's looking for.. That's where the misunderstanding comes in. That is also a two way street. You are assuming that because a man isn't willing to be a part of the emotional side you want in a relationship, he is not interested in a relationship or you. If having that emotional connection for you is essential to you being in a relationship, that is fine but you need to be up front about that. Not everyone is an emotional person in their life or relationships. If I provide for your emotional needs in a perfunctorily manner, it will not last and it will become apparent to you; then we will be back to that he no longer cares for me or wants to be in a relationship with me. I hope some of you are able to understand that concept as it is rather foreign to most women. It tends to be the opposite of emotional love.

JustBeHonest Joined Sat 10/06/18 Posts: 2691	Sun 02/03/19 09:59 AM
Yep. the emotional feel good stuff and they think that is what they should feed back to the man. What if that isn't what he wants from you? Then he needs to be straight up with her from the very beginning, so there's no misunderstandings.. But I have found that guys think you should get the "hint", or, they initially said one thing, then changed abruptly. (I'm guessing he was all charm and so forth to get her in bed, then he changed his M.O.) He just needs to find a woman who wants the same thing he wants, be honest....instead of finding a woman he likes and wants, and never asking her what she's looking for.. That's where the misunderstanding comes in. That is also a two way street. You are assuming that because a man isn't willing to be a part of the emotional side you want in a relationship, he is not interested in a relationship or you. If having that emotional connection for you is essential to you being in a relationship, that is fine but you need to be up front about that. Not everyone is an emotional person in their life or relationships. If I provide for your emotional needs in a perfunctorily manner, it will not last and it will become apparent to you; then we will be back to that he no longer cares for me or wants to be in a relationship with me. I hope some of you are able to understand that concept as it is rather foreign to most women. It tends to be the opposite of emotional love. I have never had the need to ask if a man wants an emotional love. There is no love without emotion in a relationship.

Riverspirit1111 Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 100738	Sun 02/03/19 10:05 AM
A guy who can both give and receive love A man who loves to surprise me with little sweet things & gifts, and also likes receiving those himself Can relax as he has peace inside, feels at home in his life and body (some ppl are restless because of lingering issues and tend to always want to be busy or going somewhere). I guess comes down to having cleaned out the closets and is thus able and ready for new love. Give & receive Yes, yes, and yes... it's amazing how some of us want the same things... A man who teases me and is okay with being teased back. One who also understands that sometimes I'm a little sensitive and will comfort me if I get upset. A man who appreciates the way I show affection and the little things I do to fuss over him... like making his favorite meal just because.

JustBeHonest Joined Sat 10/06/18 Posts: 2691	Sun 02/03/19 10:17 AM
A guy who can both give and receive love A man who loves to surprise me with little sweet things & gifts, and also likes receiving those himself Can relax as he has peace inside, feels at home in his life and body (some ppl are restless because of lingering issues and tend to always want to be busy or going somewhere). I guess comes down to having cleaned out the closets and is thus able and ready for new love. Give & receive Yes, yes, and yes... it's amazing how some of us want the same things... A man who teases me and is okay with being teased back. One who also understands that sometimes I'm a little sensitive and will comfort me if I get upset. A man who appreciates the way I show affection and the little things I do to fuss over him... like making his favorite meal just because. YES! But one thing I have found is that if you have lingering issues from the past, sometimes your new relationship (if good) can help put things from your past in perspective and let go. It’s done that for the bf and myself.

Riverspirit1111 Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 100738	Sun 02/03/19 10:23 AM
A guy who can both give and receive love A man who loves to surprise me with little sweet things & gifts, and also likes receiving those himself Can relax as he has peace inside, feels at home in his life and body (some ppl are restless because of lingering issues and tend to always want to be busy or going somewhere). I guess comes down to having cleaned out the closets and is thus able and ready for new love. Give & receive Yes, yes, and yes... it's amazing how some of us want the same things... A man who teases me and is okay with being teased back. One who also understands that sometimes I'm a little sensitive and will comfort me if I get upset. A man who appreciates the way I show affection and the little things I do to fuss over him... like making his favorite meal just because. YES! But one thing I have found is that if you have lingering issues from the past, sometimes your new relationship (if good) can help put things from your past in perspective and let go. It’s done that for the bf and myself. Absolutely JBH... and I'm glad it's working that way for you. We can clean our closets as best as we think but later find a couple cobwebs that we've missed. New relationships have a tendency to do that. It takes two healthy minded people to work through that... to be able to use it as tool to strengthen your new relationship.