Community > Posts By > No1phD

 
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Thu 02/28/19 02:59 PM
Edited by No1phD on Thu 02/28/19 03:03 PM
My girl put this question to me the other day... why do we tip waitresses cab drivers and the Pizza Boy... but we don't tip the person selling you your shoes... are the nice person that helps you pick out that perfect coat..
.. or your mailman or anybody else for that matter..hmmmm

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Thu 02/28/19 02:54 PM
To this day it's still boggles my mind how a ginormous ship. Weighing thousands of tons.. stays afloat... I can take a piece of flat sheet metal drop it in some water and it sinks to the bottom...lol.. just doesn't make a lot of sense that's all I'm saying... same thing with how do planes stay in the air.. like I get the physics behind it!!!.. it still doesn't make any sense..lol

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Thu 02/28/19 02:47 PM
Edited by No1phD on Thu 02/28/19 02:48 PM
Omg.. myself and the girlfriend were talking about this just the other night..
The moon does not seem to be coming across our view from where we live like it used to... and when it does I can make note of its position but then the very next night is not even close to where it was the night previous...at the same time...

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Thu 02/28/19 02:44 PM
Just because I'm logged in .. doesn't mean I haven't checked out...lol..

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Thu 02/28/19 11:29 AM
Thinking a lot of things and at the same time trying not to think about anyting..lol

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Mon 02/25/19 04:52 PM
I think the number one mistake or maybe not a mistake that I have made in the past..
Is i date people for the sake of dating..
I typically meet somebody I like something about their personality or their look.. they seem fun to be with so I figure hey!! why not date them..it's just dating... I'm pretty clear about stating that I'm not looking for anything long-term or super serious at the beginning.. but I enjoy being with them spending time with them... it makes for a nice companionship...so I throw all myself into the new relationship.. I'm loyal.. entertaining.. take them out for dinners and movies open the car door for them..
Make all the Right Moves a man should make..but somewhere around the 4-month mark..they Start to want more..well..then at that point I have to take a serious look at them and think... hmm. could I see spending a lot of time with them... do they have the right personality the right physical features.. do we have enough in common ..the right career.. and any crazy baggage....lol..

Because honestly when I'm dating somebody... I don't really look too hard at them at frist.. I just think I enjoy spending time with them that's good.. if all those other criterios happened to be in there..then..it can move forward...but if not then..I start to pull away.. and they pick up on this..and be for you know it...it's over.. and I'm left wondering what my problem is...why can't I just ...over look those little things about the other person...that keep me. From committing to them fully...
Are should I..?.... big problem is it's hard to be alone when you like being with people..
Are need to be with some one..just for the companionship...


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Mon 02/25/19 04:30 PM


I don't know what I'm doing wrong..but I can't seem to keep a real working relationship..going for more then..6.or7mouths ...I allways find some reason to not commit fully...is It me i wonder are perhaps..I'm just not meeting the right person....it takes work. To make it work..and I'm good at doing the work...

So do any of you find you have issues. Keeping a relationship going..for any real length of time...do you find falt in the other person ?..are do you some how kill it for the other person..by being you..?


Well, that's simple, Doc.... if you kill it for the other person by being you they're not the right one for you.

You answered your own question: you don't fully commit.
As long as you don't work on the underlying issue you will never find a lasting relationship, nor the right person. Well, actually you do, you meet the people who resonate with you, meaning people who for some reason also cannot have a healthy relationship.

If you truly want to change this you gotta work on the shadow side of Cancer, which if memory serves and you didn't lie is what you are.
Cancer has big problems with working through emotions, letting go, expressing their feelings & emotions and tend to avoid just like the crab does by walking sideways.

I happened to read something on Cancers today, and when they CAN deal with their shadow side they are incredibly great people, extremely creative. Apparently both Tesla and Elon (guy who invented electric cars I believe) were/are Cancer. Go figure what great things Cancer can do when empowered!

Alternatively you can of course keep sulking for the rest of your life, keep repeating postings like this for another couple of years without anything changing.
Get out of that shell, stop walking sideways.
Go see a good coach. Or if it's bad, a counsellor. Nothing to be embarrassed about, these people are there for a reason. Doesn't mean you're a nutcase, they can help you see blind spots so you stop going around in circles.
..
I don't know about all that I'm pretty good at expressing my emotions... but at the same time I do have a problem letting go.. depending on what I'm letting go of.....
Lol..but yes I think talking to professional might help

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Mon 02/25/19 01:48 PM
I don't know what I'm doing wrong..but I can't seem to keep a real working relationship..going for more then..6.or7mouths ...I allways find some reason to not commit fully...is It me i wonder are perhaps..I'm just not meeting the right person....it takes work. To make it work..and I'm good at doing the work...

So do any of you find you have issues. Keeping a relationship going..for any real length of time...do you find falt in the other person ?..are do you some how kill it for the other person..by being you..?

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Mon 02/25/19 01:20 PM
Sitting in the doc's office..well my oldest gets a check up and his prescriptions refilled..for his trip...I'm his chauffeur..today..lol

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Mon 02/25/19 10:03 AM
Well...i wish i could dream...are even sleep..would be nice..lol..I thought i was living my dream..then it all fell apart..
Because I stoped believing in that dream..
Because it was turning into more of a nightmare...now I'm trying to find a new dream..

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Mon 02/25/19 08:52 AM



And now that ive had my coffee, im thinking about...

What is the temperature on the sun, do you believe he really put 2 of EVERY animal on an ark, I need some new clothes, should I buy the little sweeper, gotta do the front lawn now, Bill Cosby..how could you, why am I here, I wonder if I can still roller skate, my knee hurts a bit today, whats love got to do with it? I love doing karaoke, should we elect a woman president, I should do sit ups, omg its trash day, brain fart,
what have you done for me lately, should I drink another cup of coffee.......

what was the question? laugh


Ummm.. after reading that I would say no to the second cup of coffee LOL
Oh but I have soooooo muchhhhhhhhh more to say!!laugh laugh

And I was afraid you might say that ..lol

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Mon 02/25/19 08:50 AM

You need to get pregnant! I gave up right away with no withdrawal symptoms and found it very easy. No cravings either but then again, I did have terrible morning sickness and couldn't face smoking.

Sorry that I can't help you any more but another time I gave up, I went cold turkey. It was the only way for me.


...
Do I have to be the one pregnant or can I just get somebody pregnant..lol..

No1phD's photo
Mon 02/25/19 08:48 AM

And now that ive had my coffee, im thinking about...

What is the temperature on the sun, do you believe he really put 2 of EVERY animal on an ark, I need some new clothes, should I buy the little sweeper, gotta do the front lawn now, Bill Cosby..how could you, why am I here, I wonder if I can still roller skate, my knee hurts a bit today, whats love got to do with it? I love doing karaoke, should we elect a woman president, I should do sit ups, omg its trash day, brain fart,
what have you done for me lately, should I drink another cup of coffee.......

what was the question? laugh


Ummm.. after reading that I would say no to the second cup of coffee LOL

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Mon 02/25/19 08:47 AM
Coffe!!. But that makes me think about Cigs. And also thinking about my son's upcoming trip to Australia...so excited for him and worried at the same time for him..lol..

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Mon 02/25/19 08:43 AM
Tired i have not been sleeping..well at all.
Stressed out about to to many things right now.. I don't cope well with stress which is stressing me out even more..lol..

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Mon 02/25/19 08:38 AM
Hi to all...
And welcome to the support group for those quitting smoking...
.it is known to be one of the hardest habits to kick...
And I'm finding that to be true...I just cant seem to quit out right... I get down to maybe four cigarettes a day and in between that I use a vapor...but I'm finding it very difficult just to quit all together..
I seem to lack the willpower..but i no i must kick the habit.. is it better to go cold turkey? or wean yourself off..?..and how long tell you stop craving them..?.any good tips for quitting..?

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Fri 02/22/19 11:44 AM
I left my wife and...spent some time with another woman she was very understanding of my situation but eventually it ended ....then come back to my matrimonial home for a short time..so I cold regroup.and start to buy the things needed to move out and be on my own..
It was nice being with my kids again full time..but yet terribly awkward..to have a dating life well there..I felt Torn Between Two Worlds.so I did not date alot...but after a short time I moved out on my own..I still see my ex and my boys..almost daily..I live very close... I come over and help out by doing some light housekeeping for her..well she's at work..
And I get to catch up with my boys at the same time.. my only advice would be if you have to stay with your ex... make it very temporary.. help out as much as you can while you're there.. stay out of each other's business... respect each other's privacy...
And put your dating life on hold until you leave...

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Thu 02/21/19 03:51 PM


Well..hmmmm.. I don't think stepping out on a sexless marriage... is all that cut and dry.... you can be loya emotionally to someone you can love somebody you can care deeply for them.. without the physical if it just does not work...for example.)..
You have had children early on together but now have lost interest in each other physically...now!.. you love each other immensely you would do anything for each other...but sex is just not an option...or it's not very fulfilling...... now you have to Bare in mind the physical part of a relationship is just one part of a relationship... if it is broke and cannot be fixed should you throw out the whole relationship because of it?. Leave your children your home.?..your life.. or do you find some safe discreet way.. to fulfill that part of you that needs forfeeling.. and return to the relationship better off for it...
And yes.. having sex outside your marriage.
Should be something.. that the married couple talk to each other about.. needs to be out in the open. . if not!! then you're cheating


That's the thing...it's usually the guy whining about how "she doesn't understaaaand meee", or they've grown apart, or she has "mental issues" and now hates sex (gee, wonder what caused that *last* one..surely has nothing to do with him, right?)..

But, when you say "OK, sure...if she's OK with this, do you mind if I chat with her a bit first..?"....then they turn tail and run....
Because he's doing shady sh**...

Then there's this..
*IF* he can truly separate love from sex...and can get his rocks off without geting emotionally involved with some other women, that's one thing...
But if he starts to share little confidences with her..talks about the wife and tells/ blabs her secrets/ flaws...he's also committing emotional infidelity...and in some case that's WAY worse...
...
Well.. I can only imagine there would be some exchange of information between the parties having sex together it just natural... you would need to have a reason why you're doing what you're doing..right?..
Unless the person just goes and gets a hooker

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Thu 02/21/19 03:44 PM
For myself... I'm kind of shy so I don't really go up and. Approach women.. I see an attractive woman I don't automatically assume she's single... I might wish she is... but that's as far as it ever goes... I guess I just don't really have any good opening lines.. it's hard to walk up the complete stranger who's minding their own business..
And start up a conversation out of the blue at least I find it is... in that moment I can never really think of anything to say...

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Thu 02/21/19 03:36 PM
Well..hmmmm.. I don't think stepping out on a sexless marriage... is all that cut and dry.... you can be loya emotionally to someone you can love somebody you can care deeply for them.. without the physical if it just does not work...for example.)..
You have had children early on together but now have lost interest in each other physically...now!.. you love each other immensely you would do anything for each other...but sex is just not an option...or it's not very fulfilling...... now you have to Bare in mind the physical part of a relationship is just one part of a relationship... if it is broke and cannot be fixed should you throw out the whole relationship because of it?. Leave your children your home.?..your life.. or do you find some safe discreet way.. to fulfill that part of you that needs forfeeling.. and return to the relationship better off for it...
And yes.. having sex outside your marriage.
Should be something.. that the married couple talk to each other about.. needs to be out in the open. . if not!! then you're cheating