I am 39 years old, the mother of one child, 21. I would like to meet someone who shares my interests and values. I hope to find a Christian man who is caring, pionate,and loving with a sense of humor to share the rest of my life with. Loving prose and/or books is a plus. I have experienced a great deal of heartache and grief in my short life. I can't write about all or most of it here, but will tell some of what has occurred. I freely admit that there were times I was bitter and angry at God for allowing it all to happen, and life is not a 'movie of the week', but over time I've come to realize that nothing is an accident. It is predestined for a purpose and all of it is leading me where He wants me to be, remember 2Corinthians 12:8-10, MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR THEE: FOR MY STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS,....FOR WHEN I AM WEAK THEN AM I STRONG. Everything happens for a reason, even trials we don't comprehend or think we can survive, and I hold on to Romans 8:28, which says that "ALL THINGS work together for the GOOD to them that love God and are called according to His PURPOSE'. That is an amazing verse because when we feel so alone and afraid ,God is there working to make even our worst times lead to something good. I know that being human, I tend to think as man thinks, not as God thinks,which is something Jesus said to Peter, so in time His reasoning will be revealed to me. I must be patient and just let it happen. I am a very pionate and intense person. I enjoy music, poetry, museums, reading, and the cultured side of life. I am alone after a 20 year marriage. Divorce was not my choice. I believed with all my being that marriage is forever and thought I would never be divorced. During my marriage I took care of our home as a homemaker and taught home schooling for years. Due to the surgery listed below, I will never be able to work outside the home. I'm not paralyzed or bedridden, but my health is fragile and I have good and bad days. I also go to pain management . I won't mention the other hospital stays and surgeries, but need to talk about the 14 hour life saving (and extremely rare)pancreatectomy/auto-islet transplant a few years ago and even though I no longer have the condition(chronic pancreais) which would've killed me, I had some complications after surgery and will never be 'normal'. I am now diabetic, have to inject insulin and blood thinners daily, take other maintenance meds and artificial enzymes to digest food. Many days are a struggle, but I try to remember the important things and get by. As a result of chronic pancreais and having a TP/ICT, I no longer have a pancreas, spleen, appendix, gall bladder, have a re-routed duodenum and my islets were transplanted into the portal vein of my liver. I made it through the surgery better than some, but required 2 blood transfusions and was hospitalized for a month, then for 9 more days 2 weeks after traveling home. The surgery I had was traumatic to go through,but my alternative was to wait for CP to kill me , so I opted for the radical treatment, unlike many with CP who just suffer until it finally kills them. After my surgery I started a support group for others with CP, whether they want the surgery or not. CP is such a devastating disease that support whether in a group or otherwise is really essential and something I wanted to provide for others similarly afflicted. If you saw me walking down the street you would never know about my TP/ICT unless I told you. People are curious so I will give a slight description. I have a scar much like the one people have after a heart transplant, but it doesn't bother me. It shows that I've made it through alot in my life and it's a reminder of how precious life really is. I still fish, bowl, go boating,tubing, to the movies, etc, but I tire more easily than people in perfect health. Of course, as I mentioned before I'm an insulin dependent diabetic and have to watch out for infections since losing my spleen. That is not to say that I cannot have a full and happy marriage because I can. And so there is no confusion, Intimacy is a must for me. I was always washboard/slender, before I got very ill. My insulin intake has caused my weight to fluctuate,and although I am on the slender side now, I am also, for lack of a better word, curvy. If you are just here to hook up or are shallow, p me by, I am wrong for you. Only respond if you are sincerely interested. I am waiting for God to send someone my way who won't consider me 'damaged goods', if not here, then somewhere else. He is out there. Maybe to some,I am damaged, but I will try and think of how God sees me instead. Many of my scars are physical, but I know there are those who are scarred inside as well, and I can empathize. I know how it feels to hurt and think of one's self as damaged. Would really like to find someone who likes slow dancing, even in the living room. I am and always wish to be a hopeless romantic, looking for a like minded man. I am looking for a best friend/lover for life.