Who is Tristan? Tristan is a guy that... pretty much kicks in every category. Except math. I use a calculator for the simplest of math problems and I write my own dictionary, which gives me license to say words that end in '-izzle' or any other suffix I see fit. Fer shizzle! I recently got out of the military after 6 years of service, now I'm very much enjoying civilian life. I'm pretty well traveled, and I can tell you all the best places to eat in Spain, Greece, Italy, France, Scotland, and Turkey. But you may be disappointed to discover that the best place to eat in Turkey is Burger King. I'm very very close with my family and even my extended family. We get together whenever there's an excuse to eat good food. I think it's an Italian thing... I'm not down with the club scene. I prefer to be somewhere quiet enough to hold down versatile conversations. I seriously NEED to dance sometimes. I can't stress enough how inappropriate this can be. I'm a troublemaker, and your mom would probably say I'm a bad influence. But your mom says a lot of things... Ignore her. I have more stories about getting in and out of trouble than I know what to do with, and I'll be happy to tell them to anyone who buys me a beer. I like to go out and I can hold my liquor. I can hold yours too if you want. I get 'deja vu' a lot. Like... once a week. I own a magic 8 ball and I consult with it for all serious decisions. I can fly. I think it's pretty easy, it's just a matter of missing the ground when you fall. I'd show you, but you'd probably **** it up... Every once in a while I get so interested in something random that I'll read everything I can about it until I'm satisfied or until the internet can't teach me anymore. As an example, I once spent an entire day researching quantam theory so that I could better understand a comic strip. I'm also well versed in the paradoxes of time travel thanks to the Futurama movie... I believe there's no better way to spend $5 then getting a slurpee and some beef jerky at 7-11. Unless it's Easter, then I'd just get however many Cadburry Cream Eggs $5 would buy. I'm perfectly comfortable making the first move. Spontaneity rules me. You'd have a much easier time getting me to jump in a car pointed at Vegas on a Friday after work than getting me to buy a plane ticket a month in advance. I think that 95% of the girls in Maxim are not the slightest bit attractive. I'm attracted to flaws. Perfect is boring. What are some of Tristan's pet peeves? People who use 'lol' as an all purpose expression. I'm allergic to lol. It makes me cry. People who specifically point out that they don't listen to Country music. Everyone knows that no one listens to country, that's like pointing out that George Bush is white. Im not taking this too seriously. I don't play mind games, nor do I placate low self esteem. Until you impress me I will treat you like my bratty little sister. All that being said; a lot of people think I come off as arrogant, but I'm really just a down to earth confident guy who's usually too sarcastic for his own good and who would probably help an old lady cross the street if it wouldn't make me late for work. Just kidding... I'm always late for work. Hit me up if you wanna make party! If not, no worries.