A lot of people here say they aren't good at filling things out describing themselves. I'm a bit too good at it. I've been told that I "need to leave something to the imagination" very often. I'm pretty awesome. You should probably get to know me. I'm actually single (Don't have a wife/kids) Still have ALL of my original teeth Don't have a pet possum Not looking for "just a hookup" Not crazy Won't stalk you...Is this a ringing endort or what? I believe that chess is by far the best board game ever invented. Does that make me a nerd? I actually made a set out of bronze and nickel silver. I made a board too, out of steel inlaid with red padauk wood. Ask me about it. I have pictures. I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos with grill marks on them. Hell yeah, reminds me of summer. When we used to fire up the ol' OMGWTFBBQ, and throw down on some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the a on. "You better flip that Frito dad. You know how I like it...with grill marks." I got a cat, but it died the same day I picked it up. Am I doing something wrong? If you are a cat specialist meet me at Wal-mart at 4:00 AM on Thursday. Bring your diploma, because I'm not going to take advice from an amateur. I'll be standing out front with a giant styrofoam cowboy hat on. What I’m doing with my life I just graduated with a 4.0 GPA (woot). I've studied fine art, psychology, English/lit, ceramics, jewelry, blacksmithing, computer aided drafting and now machining. I graduated last month Summa *** Laude (with highest honors), so now I'm looking for work...again. I've sold my soul to Google! "In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes."-Stephen H. Coogler I’m really good at Making stuff. Being a grammar Nazi. Math art, and the English language. Masturbation while crying. The first things people usually notice about me That I should probably be stoned and burned at the stake for telling it like it is. I have IDS or imminent death syndrome. This is a disorder where I may die at any moment, within the next 60 years or so. I am constantly thinking too much and plotting my next move, I tend to over think things. I am very laid back but in a "strangely nervous way". I don't look nearly as old as I am, which I'm realizing as I get older and older is a good thing. Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food I find lists boooring. Books-Hunter S. Thompson nobody could rock the horseshoe hairdo like HST. Movies-Limitless, it rox! Shows- Breaking Bad is really the best, well written show on TV right now. Music-Jam bands, Truth Food-I like anything really spicy. The most private thing I’m willing to admit This is kind of long, but worth the read! One time, when I was 19 years old. I woke up and all I can remember thinking is, "man, it smells like a chicken coup in here." So I went down to the local strip club, where I was making it rain dolla dolla billz y'all. Next thing I know, all I could really think about was getting an order of mozzarella sticks from Denny's. Not like a breakfast, but just a single order of deep fried cheese. So I tossed my grandma off of me unceremoniously, cleaned myself with a swiffer rag, and headed off to Denny's. The time was 3:43 in the morning, and I was one of the few people milling about in the restaurant at the time. I got a brief erection while I was staring at an advertit for the Oreo Blender Blaster. It was not 100%, though. Meaning: if we were cuddling in a spoon position you would be able to feel it, but if we tried to do anything with it, I'd give a few half-hearted grunts and thrusts before lazily rolling off of you and quietly sobbing. I sat at the table, and my waitress came to see if I wanted anything to drink. Typically I get unsweetened Ice Tea, but it reminded me of grandma's acrid escapades earlier, so I elected instead, to get a 7-Up. "Sprite ok?" My waitress croaked at me, spitting green throat bile on the corner of the table from years of smoking three packs a day to keep calm long enough to take orders from the endless sea of reprobates that she deals with on a regular basis. "Sprite is fine," I replied. She shuffled depressingly away to fill my order, occasionally bumping into tables on her way to the kitchen. I can only imagine that she has been working long hours to pay the bills. I tapped on the table as I waited. Five minutes ped, ten minutes, twenty. I figured that my waitress had left her shift without bothering to get my drink. So I hollered at the nearest one I could see, and requested a single order of cheese sticks. "One order of mozzarella sticks, and a Sprite, please," I managed to moan through my sleepless dementia. There was a loud clatter at the entrance to the Dennys. I craned my neck to see a short, balding, rotund individual saunter into the Dennys with a coterie of young, nubile women hanging all over him. He was taking money out of a giant sack tied to his belt, moistening it with his natural hair grease, and throwing it like snowballs at anyone he could see. The man was a king. He was on top of the world and he knew it. A slimy ball of Jacksons hit me square in my eye, and as it tumbled in an amorphous ooze down the side of my face, I could not help but think: "that is who I want to be." The sloppy lump of bills splattered on the table, and I picked it up and smelled it. It smelled like anger and ambition. It smelled like a man among men. My mentor, my idol. Stifling my reticence, I walked briskly over to the gentleman, who was at this point eating chicken tenders off the sweat-slick back of one of his cadre of fine *****es, and I asked him, I said: "Sir...teach me? How did you become this powerful? How, in God's name, are you as desirable as you appear to be?" He paused from his chicken tenders, slapped the woman in the , and motioned for the others to come together in a throne, which he then sat upon, and leveled his gaze at me. "Get a Mingle2 account, you stupid mother****er," he said to me. So I guess, overall, what I am trying to say is: my most private thing is I'm kind of a nerd. I'm shy and not nearly as funny in person as my profile may suggest. This profile is the result of years of being on online dating sites. I’m looking for Girls who like guys Ages 23-33 Near me For new friends You should message me if Feminism has won. Still though, I haven't been asked out once by a woman, and I get about one unsolicited message a year.