Hi all, am looking for nice, humorous people to chat with me. :) meeting part is later! :) Juz Smile! An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside. "I have always heard that you can't take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory," he said. "I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within." The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, "I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000." The doctor then said, "I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000." The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then said, "Gentlemen, I'm surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don't see how you could dare to go against that man's final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount..." A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the Devil. As he ped sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. "That's unfair," he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman." "Shut up!" barked the Devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"