I've been told that I'm fun, funny, silly, serious, creative, crazy, and totally out of my mind. And that was while standing in line at the ATM today. I'd like to meet a sexy woman that's funny, smart, healthy, disease-free, not a mental case, and single. Yes, I said single! (those of you with a pending divorce feel to holla once it's final.) Someone who's a lady in public but can cut loose and show me what she's working with behind closed doors. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. So, I'm thinking It'd be nice if I could find someone that I can stand. Is that asking too much? It's a simple request - really. I just don't want to wake up next to you 10 years and two kids from now and say to myself "Ewwwe! What the hell did I ever see in you?" (That obviously would be a HUGE mistake...for us both!) Let's try to avoid that if we can. Ok? Now, what kind of women do I like? I like what's good. I like women that stimulate my mind as well as the nether regions of my pants. Someone I can have meaningful conversations with. I've no use for vapid conversation and idle gossip. (TRANSLATION: I could care less what Britney, Lindsay, Paris and Angelina are doing.) Someone who's going places. Someone that can get used to losing every single game of Scrabble or Boggle they'll ever play with me. Someone who wants a new best friend. Someone who can accept me for the idiot savant that I am. Someone who gets me and doesn't care that none of it adds up or makes any sense. She just wants to enjoy the ride. Someone who understands that we don't have to be alike, to like each other. If you can do any of that with a smile on your face, you and I are gonna be alright and I won't get bored of you and start hiding the CD's of yours that I'm going to keep when I quit you. Essentially I like hot chicks (I have my own thoughts on what's hot), that are nice human beings, smart, positive, funny and fun-loving. Women who are not stuck on themselves and not liars, truth-twisters, or at all selfish. (Selfish people and liars suck!) I'd much rather be with an average looking woman that I get along with, am totally into and makes me laugh, than some rich, , arm candy Halle Berry look-a-like that I can't stand and is a total Bi-otch to me and everyone around her. (I've already dated her, and trust me, pretty is as pretty does.) A compatible partner for me is a woman who believes in mutual respect and equality. So those of you consider yourselves "Queens" and "Divas" (God I hate that word), need not apply. I'm also not into the chunkified ladies. So those of you who are swollen from enjoying more than your fair share of the pie and ice cream, I am most certainly not the cat for you. I also don't care what color you are. I've been dating black women damn near 30 years and apparently I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm not going to stop dating black women (that would be ludicrous. Ya'll too damn fine!) but I am going to open-up the game and take applications from EVERYBODY. Not limited to but Including the Latin sisters, those of the Asian persuasion, and oh yes, I gotta say it...I'm going to have to start dating me some white women. (Don't hate -- congratulate.) By the way, no photo-no response. Deal with it! Hopefully by now you've gleaned that I'm going to have a fond appreciation for anyone who is a smart, funny, confident woman (that can deal with my shenanigans) and who is willing to give as good as she gets. So there you go -- that's pretty much it. Just be fun, be nice, be funny, be nice, be attractive, be nice, be smart, be nice (by the way, did I say be nice?), and this will all work-out just fine. (read the following very quickly without breathing) Offer not valid in all 50 states not all applicants will qualify for special rate state and local taxes may apply accessories sold separately batteries not included your actual mileage may vary see salesperson for details.