I’m a really boring guy who hates to have fun. For years people have flocked to me to learn the secret of my mediocrity. I have no sense of humor and find laughter offensive. I loathe honest people and anyone who lives life to the fullest. I never exercise, and I eat nothing but fast food. I am sickened by the thought of any outdoor activities and even dread the walk to my 1978 Dodge Aspen. I have a really low paying crappy job that I hate with a pion, and I hate that I’m pionate about that. I spend most of my time trying to steer clear of family and really have no friends. I am frightened to death of success and live my life to that end. If you find life as disgusting as I do…………well, write if you want, I really don’t care.