There are a lot of traits that are important when looking to get into a serious relationship.To me, I usually look at the whole picture. Anyone who is divorced and own a home would understand what I am talking about. You can look at a picture in an ad or on an app and decide whether someone’s physical appearance is appealing to you, but that’s like buying a house based on a picture from the front yard. Most people want to enjoy how the front of their house looks, but that doesn’t typically break the list of the top ten or fifteen things they’re looking for in a home. How many bedrooms and bathrooms? Have the appliances been updated in the last five or ten years? What kind of shape is the foundation in? The outside may be most important to some people, but they’re probably people who haven’t owned a home before. The inside of a house — space, appliances, interior design — can cover a multitude of sins outside. But no amount of paint and creativity outside can fix serious issues inside. On one hand you could have a spouse who was knock-out gorgeous, but critical and quick to argue or nitpick about anything. On the other hand you could have a spouse who was always kind and quick to forgive, but was just so-so physically. Ask anyone who’s married, and they’ll tell you that kindness and forgiveness are more important to your happiness than physical looks. You won’t be happy with the quarrelsome spouse, no matter how physically attractive they are. Here’s the point: good looks, while nice to have, are the less important trait to me Then there’s the other big problem with looks: they don’t last. Someone who is beautiful today will be a little less beautiful 5 years from now, and less beautiful than that 10 years from now, and so on, until we’re all old men and women. Now, there is a wonderful thing in marriage where your spouse can appear more beautiful to you over time, but objectively speaking, we’re all getting uglier. So if someone’s focused solely on physical beauty, they’ll never stay focused on any one person for long. Don’t believe me? Ask sixty-year-old love birds if they’re still“physically attracted” to each other. Some of them are more attracted to each other than ever, and it’s not because they’re gaining weight, losing their hair, or having more trouble getting around. It’s because their appearance, in the eyes of their beloved, is increasingly filled with a deepening appreciation for the beauty in the other. They see something different in each other’s eyes. The hands are worn, but familiar and safe. The wrinkles are the years of faithfulness and bliss spent together. Their love not only looks beyond the surface, but sees the surface with new eyes. That is exactly what I am looking for. While beauty is a depreciating asset, most other positive traits—wisdom, patience, commitment, good communication skills, etc.—are things that can improve over time. They make for a better investment, so to speak. The more we learn about someone, the more their appearance is filled, for better or for worse, with new and deeper meaning — with their personality, their convictions, their sense of humor, their faith. The once-stunning girl may lose most of her charm, and the easily overlooked girl may become undeniably beautiful. They each look exactly the same as before, and yet they don’t. You see them, even their physical appearance, differently now. I am a divorced physician living in Long Island without kids looking for his equal to settle down and start a family (which means having kids). I don't drink, smoke or take drugs. I will not share anymore picture and I am not looking for penpal or text buddy Please be kind, intelligent, have a job and have your act together.