Lights down low, my mask fully fitted on my face
Bodies toned and taut on the dance floor
Moving, grinding moving in unison with the
Pulsating thump of the bass…

An alcohol fueled euphoria, I’m both excited and numb all at once…
Feeling isolated and alone yet connected and plugged in;
I make my way back to the dance floor where she awaits me

The ritual of mating begins on the dance floor…
Our eyes lock and I approach with a smile, a smirk, or somewhere in between
She smiles back, and I sub consciously ooze sexuality

A touch, gentle yet firm, my hand, her hip, and she begins to dip
And it starts…
Loss of consciousness and an awakening of our loins
We move.. Together, like honey… As one… I feel… Her wanting… Me…

And as the bass pulsates from the speaker, through the floor, into my shoes and makes its way into my soul for that moment, we are all that matters.
No one else is there, just her, me, and the sounds, smells and visuals of sex before sex…

And we dance… All night we dance…

Just for a moment, my pain is gone, and I can believe, if only for a moment…
That she is mine, and I am hers.
But buried deep within the part of my brain untouched by chemicals and endorphins is the knowledge that after the music stops, once our bodies slow back down, and the lights come on…

That she will go home to him…

And I will go home alone…

And so I wait until the next time, the next weekend, when we will meet on the dance floor.
For the love that I feel is the love I cannot have…
That feeling of bliss, when her arms are around my neck, and my hands are on her hips…

Lights back on, my mask slowly coming off
I walk back to my car, cigarette in one hand…
I stare at the wristband for a moment, and decide to leave it on instead of ripping it off
I smell her on my shirt the entire ride home…

Sometimes I can’t tell whether the joy or the pain is worse…